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I'm in my senior year at high school and I hope to get to college too.
Girl he is gaslighting you.
That's a thing I also thought about, and you are right, that's what I have to do
I suppose that's one way of looking at it. What I meant was sometimes people are up for casual sex and it can be nice to feel wanted again after a break up. I'm not advising him to use someone. Not everyone who has casual sex is being used or using the other person.
If she does walk it’ll be a perfect opportunity to find someone who doesn’t go through your phone, even if you say it’s “okay” it still shows a lack of trust, nobody has ever taken the time to look through something without expecting to find something it’s human nature.
I have a professional, but I still share with my friends, just as they share with me. He isn’t my predominant ‘emotional outlet’ and he doesn’t act as a therapist. We just share.
I’m not judging if what they are doing is right or wrong, just that I don’t wish to be part of it, if those are the rules of the game and so do the rest of the friends, which he is upset by.
I mean look at all the repliea its low a hanging fruit karma farm.
Don’t respond. Call her or speak with her in person. I can see texting will go hugely wrong in this situation.
That doesn't say anything, not everyone rushes to date again but that doesn't mean they are better off alone. But yeah I don't see any good that would come of this.
If someone asked great for years and suddenly changes is that because underneath its their true personality or whatever OR because they've changed as a person?
Whilst deep down does exit, I think actions are king to understanding people. It doesn't matter if someone's a narcissistic if they are able to pretend 99% of the time
This isn't an attack on you or your situation more the idea that people are inherntently good/evil under their actions
Take the test and let him look like an asshole. Then get a divorce ?
I would say that's a tough thing to find even for folks who do meet Eurocentric beauty standards (not to invalidate your experience at all, just hopefully offering some comfort that it's not you specifically). 29 is a weird age because you're at the end of the “let's just have fun” phase of your life but the men around you may not have entered the “I'm ready to settle down” phase. I personally found dating in my 30s a lot more fulfilling because I was meeting men who were more serious about long-term partnerships. It may be that you have the same experience. I hated being 29 but loved being 30 lol.
Can I ask which app(s) you've tried?
Run. Away. From. Him.
You have the right (as a 19 year old woman) to be in the medical room alone. Your mother does not have the right to be in the room during your examination.
I am sorry that you are in this parental abusive situation.
Can you cross post this to r/AskADoc? They may have better insight about how to navigate your situation.
Best of luck to you!
That’s really sweet to hear. And lol true. I left once before because he was on tinder. Then the guy I was dating after him cheated on me. I ran into my bf now again and eventually came back. Maybe men aren’t the answer and I need to be alone for a while
Hi, OP. I'm a dad with a son not much older than you (24). Are you saying that you want to tell your mom that you're moving out next month? If so, are you sure you want to give her a month to do and say whatever you fear she will over that period of time? Based on what you wrote, I'm not sure you want to give her that much time to express her thoughts on the matter to you. Are you strong enough to hold up to her for a whole month?
Whenever you do tell her, consider doing so from the perspective of a grateful daughter rather than a child abandoning her mother. What I mean by that is this:
A parent's primary role is to raise their children to be responsible, independent adults and at age 21, it's time for you to leave the nest. Build her up on that so that maybe she sees this as her being a good mom rather than her losing her daughter. Rather than sheepishly, fearfully, or apologetically telling her you're leaving her, consider thanking her for the years she put into getting you to this stage of your life and for preparing you for adulthood. Then let her know the details of your arrangements at the university and how excited you are to dive into your studies so you can be the strong, independent woman she raised you to be.
When she starts raising objections, let her finish — do not interrupt or try to change her mind — and then say to her with confidence something like, “Mom, I appreciate where you're coming from with your words, but I'm 21 and it's time for me to leave the nest. You've prepared me for this and it's not like you'll never see me again. You need to allow me the opportunity to achieve on my own AND to make and learn from my own mistakes just like your parents did with you. I will make mistakes, mom, because everyone does. But it's all part of growing up and I'm fortunate to have you as part of my support structure when I need you.”
The time will come, OP, when you as a daughter need to take a more active role in caring for you parents. My parents are both 87 and I do a ton of stuff for them as a dutiful and grateful son. BUT, for you, that time is not now. Now is the time for you to confidently pursue the course that you have so thoughtfully prepared for yourself. Your life is yours to on-line, not her's to live either for you or through you.
You didn't put everything into motion just to allow you mother to close that door on you. Stay strong, OP, and go forward and online the life you were created to online.
Tell her. You deserve to have a good first time. You won’t if you are stressing and trying to act.
At 33 and 6 years into the relationship, I seriously doubt it was their first conversation. OP is so passive it’s possible that what he’s quoting here is the tail end of a much longer conversation. “Ok, so we’re going to get married? So I can tell people? Great!”
Dude is gonna come home Tuesday and find out she’s got a venue booked.
Honestly? Stop overthinking it. He needs to know if this lasts, your relationship WILL change. That's a part of the pros/cons of being with this woman.
Just say it.
She's not my cup of tea. However, she's your gf so I'm at a loss how we continue to have the same relationship since you are likely spending a lot of time with her. I wouldn't enjoy our time together with her there. That said, your relationship isn't my choice and I don't want to interfere with it.
I honestly would just prefer to avoid her for now given our different values (discuss privacy). I might hang out with you both more occasionally, but I absolutely do not want to be filmed. After she posted me on-line, I don't trust her to respect my boundaries because she hasn't. Given that, I'm avoiding her, not you.
Then just have a conversation about setting a night every week/every other week aside to hang. Maybe when his gf is filming and your brother isn't involved. Ask your bro if he would be okay with you guys having bro-nights.
Maybe he's weirded out that you're with a guy closer to his age than yours? I'm not sure that's fixable.
I only had a woman’s panties once, because my gf at that time bought a sizable new set, after trying each one on, her wonderful smell was always intoxicating. She forgot them and left them at my place. I didn’t sniff them but her perfume scented my place wonderfully until she realize she had left them and came back to pick them up. I charged her a “tax” to hand them over, but both of us enjoyed it.
Your boyfriend just told you with his two thumbs that your value as a human being is tied directly to your vagina.
Do not continue dating this child.
Helping your kid to buy their other parent a gift for Christmas, birthdays, and mother's/father's day are a part of parenting. It's a perfectly normal thing to do. Your girlfriend is letting her jealousy get the better of her. She doesn't sound like step-mom material.
I'm gonna put this in the nicest way possible. I wouldn't have high expectations in trying to achieve what you're trying to achieve. I'm not the guy that's what you're trying to achieve in my relationship either. I try, but I'm not. I think you probably need that guy if you guys are in therapy (yikes) over it.
My girl and I connect in different ways, but because I'm not good at small talk or validation, we don't really attempt it, and it's pretty unfair of you to expect a person without that personality to be that person.
Get a friend, girl/guy whatever that is able to be that person if you're unwilling to reconcile that he won't be that guy for you, because guys like him, like me, won't change drastically to accomodate you, unfortunately.
Where did you learn to settle for breadcrumbs? Find a real partner…your values don’t line up. Someone that gives as much as they take and will care for you. You must have felt very alone as a child to choose someone like this and think it’s normal.
nah I don’t want to break up with him. I’m going to make it work even if I have to rehearse over a hundred times telling myself that I don’t want nathan
As someone who grew up during the AIDS epidemic I was hyperventilating reading this.
What a mess, I’m glad I don’t know you. You’re really romanticizing your love square when in reality you’re just being a POS and hurting multiple people. Grow up
I think he takes u as his sugar momma
She lied. She lied BIG. She lied to her what she wanted regardless of your feelings. How many liters has she told since then? I don’t know that i could overcome that lie. Also, if you have kids get a dna test. Not because she previously slept with a lot of dudes but because she lies about her sexual history. You need to verify paternity due to her lies.
To say you're questioning whether he loves indicates that you think if he loves you, he will just do whatever you decide – that his firmly stated boundaries need to move because you decided they should. All the while, you're willing to lose him to keep the baby, so maybe it is you who doesn't love him.
He loves you and the life you currently have. He doesn't want to deal with a pregnant wife or a crying baby. He was very clear about it.
Quit wasting your time.
Even if she knew she was adopted, taking that test (which she would have been more eager for) would have shown it was with her Dad's foster sister. There's no way that would happen in a healthy relationship.
As someone who has seen it, there's no age you can tell a kid that they are the result of SA where they'll take it well. It's a horrible thing for anyone to face. When they are young, they usually lash out in terrible ways and get into trouble in their teens. Adults can't cope with it very well either.
Imagine how excited you’d be if she asked u if u wanted to be intimate.
Hopefully, she’ll react the same way.
I actually read a book about sex research. “The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex”
Or something like that for the title…
Anyway, they were researching various stimulation and what can bring on orgasms. Surprisingly some people would orgasm just from stimulation of the knee. We're just all different and we can have erogenous zones in some random ass places.
Explore yourself ?
a break is a break up
Subsequently His wife had found our emails and he told me to go no-contact until he can sort things out. A few days later I received an email from her asking basically what am I doing with her husband, she was polite, seemed wounded, not rude just asking what our relationship really means and he told me to not reply. Everything he said made sense to me at first and of course I accepted everything. Five years pass and his child gets married last October 22.
This timeline is a bit confusing, are you saying the wife reached out to you asking you what was going on and now five years later you’re thinking about meeting up with her because you didn’t want to send an email? Am I to understand that you went this entire time without responding to the wife or confirming her suspicions about her husband’s affair??
If you have a low sex drive, you will be more compatible with guys with low sex drives.
Unfortunately it will be very, very tough to find a guy like this though, almost like looking for a unicorn really.
Where did he said kicking out when intoxicated? Kick out the next morning. I have seen many guys get kicked out because they said something inappropriate about their women's body.
Who said she changed her mind? The issue isn’t adoption, it’s that she didn’t know her husband only wanted adopted children
He's picking on you…hes made you feel insecure and uncomfortable. He's not your match…hes a douche. A good man will build you up and make you feel safe. This man has only done the opposite.
Exactly, he’s enabling her behaviour and she’ll always hold him at arms length. His second daughter will grow up like Amanda did and he’ll be estranged from both his children
He’s huge on his self image and has expectations of how he expects his life to be/look. Since I’m his girlfriend, I made him look bad essentially. That is what he is mad about.
That’s what I meant
The only way to know is to have the conversation. Maybe part-time could be an option. Be prepared for an answer of “I want to go back to work.”
Wouldn't say it's normal, but it's not crazy and every relationship has different sexual chemistry. It could be a lot for some or too little for others. Best way to go about it is to talk to him directly about your concerns.
The real issue begins if he tries to make you feel bad about not wanting to do it daily. If that happens, you've got an answer in regards to whether or not he's manipulative.
Bro..
are you in open relationship?
Tell him he can have an open relationship, but not with you. If I were you, I would’ve dipped as soon as he brought it up. Usually when someone brings it up they already have a person in mind.
Dude, what? WHAT? You need to develop some survival instincts. This is insane. Please walk away from this situation immediately.
What that mouth do?
Good luck OP!
You may have to be prepared that fiancée puts her foot down. Yes it may not have been in your plans, but neither was losing her father, and she may see this as something she wants to do for her mother as she has just lost her other parent. Particularly if they’re very family orientated, and your fiancée wants to help mum get back on her feet. So be very careful in what you demand, as I’ve seen many similar situations on here where it’s resulted in breaking up over. Just be clear before speaking to her in what is an uncrossable line versus discomfort and give fiancée a chance to explain what she expects from this arrangement so that you can also explain what are hard stops for you. For example I understand you don’t want a permanent solution and maybe would be prepared to leave over that, but is that how you feel if they both only want to do 3-6 months, or 1-3 months? Is that also worth ending the relationship for? If mother doesn’t move in now, have you agreed that it’s okay when children come (a newborn is nude, if MIL can help that can be invaluable, but also an added nightmare). Just be very clear yourself before hand what you can and can’t on-line with, and give gf a chance to compromise then.