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She should leave. He's abusive and is emotionally blackmailing her to stay with him. She is not responsible for what he decides to do. If she is seriously worried that he might harm himself she could call emergency services. But odds are it's an empty threat.
Yea that’s weird. Probably contact her and figure out wtf she was thinking. She might be looking to stir up some drama for excitement
No worries, thanks for your insights. Distance is not really an issue, I was at my dad's home on purpose (which is close to her home) so I could pick her up and go together to the christmas market which is like 10mins off from my apartment. We see each other at least once a week since she is only 40Mins away and it doesn't bother me to drive (I work from home and have basically a lot of free time, she's still a student and doesn't have her driving license).
The reason why I refused to change plans is because the place she wanted to go to was not as nice and she was expecting us to attend a friend's party after.
I wouldn't end things if it seems like there is a possibility of something real growing, but that's me.
The issue is that she kind of messed up and acts like it's my fault, can you really build something with someone that has some serious behavior issues? I feel like I'm back to my first relationship when I was 15…
Not sure if this has been said but what do you look like? Do you have a gym membership? If you don’t sign up for yourself and starting being the healthiest you can be. Significant others can feed off that energy from one another and then she could possibly pursue a healthier lifestyle and that could be something you both enjoy
A million is a good amount of money, but if you want it to impact your life long term it shouldn’t make outrageous changes to your daily life. The rule of thumb is draw 4% a year and you should never run out of money. After taxes it can definitely be a big help, but if you’re young you likely shouldn’t be taking it all out, and should be saving more for the future. So it might make more sense to just invest it all, and save a little less now and use that money to spend now.
You are a different version of yourself with every single person you know, and that's normal. You can't tell yourself you are the same “you” with you mom, with a professor, with a cop, with a child, ext. So being a different version of yourself with this person is normal.
If she is really your best friend you could just talk about these feelings. You're jumping from A to Z without hitting any letter in between, there is probably a solution that doesn't involve abandonment.
If you don't want to hang out with her, just save her the drama and tell her that. If you want to cut her out of your life because of some bazaar reason, the least you can do is respect her enough to not drag it out.
Can I get some downvotes too?
Don’t waste not a minute more being unhappy and miserable. Get that divorce and happily move on.
Focus any future meetings on the legal stuff only, and take someone else with you. No texting.
Bro you need to delete her number and move on
Oh man I did the exact same thing to my ex when my dad passed. And he told me to fuck right off. 🙁 im so sorry for your loss boo
If you really like it you will miss it so it may be a dealbreaker
Always choose your future girl. No man needs to get in the way of the way especially one that says he needs more when you can’t give it to him. Choose led school. I’m sorry.
Always choose your future girl. No man needs to get in the way of the way especially one that says he needs more when you can’t give it to him. Choose led school. I’m sorry.
This is fantastic!!! Waiting for a meet and greet with the baby should be until you and him are serious anyways even though the baby is still little. You did great and it’s good you had fun!!
You’re welcome 🙂
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My name’s Courtney
I just looked up how many kids he has. He is expecting baby number 12 next year. I looked at their names and I think both parents must have been high for days to come up with some of the names.
But back on topic. Why would someone want that many kids? What are family holidays like? How does he spend time with all of those kids? I have so many questions.
Thanks for the comment, I will give it a go!
Why ? And what I am supposed to do ? Get away slowly from her ?
You don't need more sex. You want more sex. Which is perfectly reasonable, but exaggeration isn't going to help.
You didn't cross a line, she is much too sensitive and perhaps it's good riddance.
When my ex dumped me for pretty much the same reason, I downloaded tinder that night and had a date for a week later. I’m now happily engaged to the guy I went on a date with and we have 2 awesome kids.
I think there's enough reasons to not be OK with this. For example you don't know what kind of person he actually is. He could be dangerous as far as you know.
Whatever your reason is, I think the best thing to do is to talk to her about this situation. Explain your point of view and listen to hers. See if she understands, but also make sure to try and understand her side of the story.
Be honest and tell her you're not comfortable with this because you've known each other for a very long time and never heard of this guy before.
You can ask her first to meet him before they go out together, so at least you'll know what kind of guy he is. Maybe you'll have a better feeling about it afterwards.
If she doesn't want to introduce him to you, then maybe you should ask her why it would be a problem.
That's my only advice I can give you @OP
Good luck!
To love you, he needs to love all of you. All of you includes your past experiences because that's what made you who you are now.
I would cut your losses with this one, is he going to throw it in your face if you have an argument? Is he going to bring it up periodically in the future?
You need to find someone who accepts you for who you are AND who you were.
I had this happen to me. I was getting over an accident. He did coddle me. Then he packed my clothes in a black garbage bag and gave it to me. The end.
Sounds like it's time for a poly meeting.. talk through what's happened and about feelings and work it out like friends/fwb/metas….
It sounds like so far you've been ok with his coke use. Deciding you'll be annoying and start asking more questions if he does not stop is a ridiculous stance. If you are serious about not being with someone who does coke then end this relationship. Don't stay with him because you have a mortgage together.
No?
….
I dunno. WA has safe access to reproductive health for women and respects bodily automony for all genders.
Texas doesn't.
That's kind of a HUGE deal.
Your use of the word “numbness” and the speed of onset does seem like something you might want to talk to a therapist about, but I do also want to reassure you that some decline in the intensity of emotion about a partner is actually normal. That big first flush of being obsessed with a new partner is sometimes called “the honeymoon period” or “New Relationship Energy”, aka “NRE”. It's normal and healthy for the fire to level off into a nice warm glow of steady, securely-attached love and affection.
I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with you then. To each their own but personally flirting (not smiling, not sitting near someone. FLIRTING)with someone whilst in a relationship is cheating & is really disrespectful to your s/o
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i’m sure it’ll be fun being married to a man who can flip the script like nothing
Thank you. Thats makes a lot of sense.
He sounds like a major douche imo
Well kind of, OP was open to him also sleeping with others but it doesn't seem like he offers the same attitude towards her.
Why does it matter if there are any nude feelings? She is not part of your life, she isn’t family, she is irrelevant to your life now. Either don’t talk to her or just text her. It’s mad creepy that you are taking the chance to meet her ONLY when your wife isn’t around and also that she apparently does not know her at all/her existence. Clearly everyone here is saying it’s a bad idea
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Because she wouldn’t be able to move on and you definitely wouldn’t be moving on. Most people can’t move on and have a new functional healthy relationship if they’re still in regular contact with someone they love and were once in love with.
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I'm going against the grain here. I'm a huge fan of talking. You are upset and instead of addressing the elephant in the room you are both avoiding the topic and each other….right now you are passively going down the road of divorce. Sit down and talk to her. Let her read this. Lay it all out. Find out WTF is going on in her mind. Does she really feel this way? Or is she lashing out over her own insecurities with aging and weight? Is something else going on? Talk. Then you can decide how you want to proceed. Because right now you are passively destroying your marriage without intention and she is allowing it….make sure that is the road you really want to take.
This! I just wrote a similar comment above. It’s so easy to project blame on the boyfriend’s ex in order to minimize the issue with the boyfriend. The fact that OP is in a relationship w boyfriend, lives w boyfriend, has a kid w boyfriend, means she has to address the issue w him. Don’t have to ignore the involvement of his ex, but don’t use that to avoid the trust issue with the boyfriend.
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If you had broken up when y'all were disconnecting, it wouldn't have been anything, just a good move for your happiness. But because you kept making the choice to stay with him AND made the choice to be basically with the other guy, you were.
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So your boyfriend is a predator…. Big surprise his brother is a perv too.
As someone who has a 2 year old and working full time, I find your daughter very entitled. You are absolutely right, you are your own person and you're allowed to not be a caretaker.
As much as it takes a village to raise a child, future parents should prepare for children as if they will not have help. If they do, amazing, if they don't, they were ready. Are they planning to wing it like they're doing at every step? That's entirely on your daughter. You are done parenting.
Fr
I think the most relevant thing is he needs to see someone. He has obvious anger problems, and his laxness in the relationship could be addressed at the same time. He needs therapy for himself, and you might need couple's counseling, too.
So why won’t you leave her?
Yeh I reckon I can avoid them for that long, will probably see her at mutual friends birthday parties though because I don’t think I can skip those lol. I’m really not looking forward to seeing her again. I likely won’t see her for around a month though so will work on moving on in the meantime
Don't change your beliefs in an attempt to keep this relationship.
It's not far to a human being, the child , that you used their life as a bargaining chip. You'll grow resentful and it old lead to divorce or thechildis raised in Dysfunctional environment.
There are enough kids in these environments already.
You can dm me.
Most mature and useful comment here, OP if you read and take note of any please let it be this 1
I don't want to shame her
Oh good point, it's really rude to shame people for being racists/nazis/white supremacists.
I technically have access to her stuff too, but never look, I’m not interested in her stuff
It sucks but it’s the right thing to do. But make sure you are able to send her proof.
HE IS….break up now
Yeah the break is a terrible idea. I feel like there’s gotta be more issues than this if OP is just ready to throw in the towel immediately
You lost attraction because he’s hairy and sweaty?
She's a placeholder.
You stated that you do not see yourself married to her.
You live with her out of convenience and because you don't want to deal with separating things.
She wants to get married and has no idea that you have an expiration date for your relationship in place.
That means, you are using her for your own comfort till something better comes up.
No. It doesn't.
Honestly you both sound not very fiscally irresponsible if you're having the issues you're having on the income you make. Consider an accountant or financial counseling.
You were already making excuses for this dude’s poor character before you even got to the issue at hand. “A good heart” is denial-speak for describing a person that is a loser. Accept that fact. This is who he is, and it is not going to change. You’ll have a whole lifetime of these mishaps with him at your side. Do you want that?
You are still very young but realistically, you have a baby and a husband, that’s action enough to be considered an adult. You need to make your own decisions at this point with your family (your husband and baby) in mind. Not your father. It’s going to be difficult going against him but he should not be dictating what you do as an adult.
Gotta grey rock her. She wants the drama so she can play the innocent victim. If you just shrug and say nothing (obvs BF can block or respond as he wants as he’s uncomfortable and it’s his right) then she can’t do anything without bringing it up herself and then she’ll have to explain why she was doing a mating dance in his DMs in the first place. If she asks loudly why he blocked her, shrug innocently and say she must have pissed him off, somehow.
Two can play dumb and you can win.
Take any other contract. If the firm you hired won’t take meetings with you, treats you worse than other clients and takes calls and distractions while actively in a meeting with you. You’d probably find another firm to contract with.
Look up Negging. That's what he was doing.
His own dad is telling you to report him, that's huge!! Listen to him.
Yes. Some people in those situations have the option of living with parents or homelessness for example.
Once again, not denying that she does in fact need to get her shit together and sort out her finances, transport life etc etc and she does need to live by her dad's rules too. I never said otherwise. The entire point of my comment was to mention that some people don't have the luxury of choice. Nothing deeper than that my guy. I'm not refuting anything your saying lol.
I think the brother was being nice…no offense. It would be highly unlikely for a 19 year old and 28 year old to have much in common or be in the same place in life. But, I've seen it work, rarely.
It's nit just about 8 years, but from 18 to 20, I noticed my maturity was different and definitely from 20 to 28 as well. I thought I was mature working full time, college fill time, and first law firm job at 21 etc. I thought I wad bad ass, but I was bad ass 21 and not bad ass 28.
However, everyone has different paths in life, but I wouldn't off the bat think anything was mutual. He already mentioned age is an issue. It sounded like two guys talking and being nice. But, hang around and access things. It doesn't have to be like that forever since time flies.
Stalkers have a mental defect that doesn’t go away. I promise.
I would keep having a child quiet especially if he says you should. Many families think poorly of women with children. He wants you to be seen in the best light.
Heck, if I knew someone was actively planning to rape me, I'd go with a handgun.
I’m sorry but he is fucking disgusting- many many more people would agree with that than would not. And any trained therapist would be addressing with you how horrible what he’s asking you to do is.
Even is they did, the morning after pill isn’t 100% effective. 🙁
Plan B’s effectiveness goes down if you are 155 lbs or more. There are alternatives for folks at higher weights but people aren’t always aware of that and doctors don’t always give those instead etc.
I love you, but I’m not in love with you is code, for I found another man
It's overwatch, and thank you for the response
Sounds more like a situationship than a relationship.
Umm, read around here please, and note how “fun” being single and dating are. The re-evaluate your relationship. Seems like you’ve got a strong mutual relationship already, why toss it away for possible chaos?
Don’t marry her. Trust me.
So you were the home parent and she was at work, perhaps she does miss work a lot. Some people find they don't like being at home with children, she might be one of them.
It is a problem that she won't talk, that will kill your relationship fast, cos you are not being heard that there is a problem, she is sticking her head in the sand and ignoring your feelings.
Some have said maybe she is meeting someone, but all that spending and crap isn't about sex it is about boredom or something else. She needs to be working to keep her from shopping.
Start with only giving her the money you can afford. Then she will be unhappy so it is get a job and childcare first. She wants cups then she can pay her own money for them. Bills come first.
We have them, she got me some for Christmas, I’ve been looking thru them and definitely am going to use them. I suck so bad and conversation when I’m put on the spot.
Do her a favor and end the relationship. You went into it when you shouldn't have and it's only going to get worse. You don't have to be attracted to her but it's selfish to keep her in a relationship where you have disdain for a part of who she is because you want to enjoy the benefits of being with her.
You're not her doctor, nutritionist, or trainer. Encourage her to talk to experts, don't try to be one while you're in a relationship with her.
And again, if you care about her, let her go instead of hanging on and trying to mold her body into the shape you want. Someone else will be happy to be with her AND find her beautiful. She deserves that.
You should break up
You want a boyfriend. He did not want to be your boyfriend. You starting to look elsewhere for someone who wants to be your boyfriend is not being manipulative, because he doesnt want that role.
I detested dating people like that when I was single. You want everything that comes with comitment from me, but you dont want to comit and expect me to just wait around and see if you might change your mind at some point, but also might not? No, if we want different things the sensible thing is to go find someone who wants the same.
Ew no! If you hold no resentment then there IS closure already! He already apologized and life went on. This whole closure thing is stupid and unnecessary. Everyone wants some kind of “why” and the reality is because cheaters cheat and killers kill, liars lie. You weren’t special enough for him to stay faithful. Sometimes they consciously do it and sometimes something is wrong with them and they have zero control or willpower. Why would you want to put pretend closure over your husband’s comfort. If this was your husband’s ex would you be cool with it? Why is your ex so special he gets to repeat his same old BS apology and waste your time?
Ew no! If you hold no resentment then there IS closure already! He already apologized and life went on. This whole closure thing is stupid and unnecessary. Everyone wants some kind of “why” and the reality is because cheaters cheat and killers kill, liars lie. You weren’t special enough for him to stay faithful. Sometimes they consciously do it and sometimes something is wrong with them and they have zero control or willpower. Why would you want to put pretend closure over your husband’s comfort. If this was your husband’s ex would you be cool with it? Why is your ex so special he gets to repeat his same old BS apology and waste your time?
Ew no! If you hold no resentment then there IS closure already! He already apologized and life went on. This whole closure thing is stupid and unnecessary. Everyone wants some kind of “why” and the reality is because cheaters cheat and killers kill, liars lie. You weren’t special enough for him to stay faithful. Sometimes they consciously do it and sometimes something is wrong with them and they have zero control or willpower. Why would you want to put pretend closure over your husband’s comfort. If this was your husband’s ex would you be cool with it? Why is your ex so special he gets to repeat his same old BS apology and waste your time?
I agree, I think her coworkers only gave her the extra nudge.
The alternative is she is weak-willed and has a rubber arm.
Neither bodes well…
I would be out of there. He has zero self awareness or concern for your well being and stress level while carrying his children in a higher risk pregnancy (cause twins).
Yes, it makes sense that some guys lose a sex drive when their wife is in the third trimester. Their whole lives are about to change, their stress levels go up. and I think some of them go into denial and relationship sabotage. (Like that one dude who insisted on a paternity test from his wife and she yeeted him.) But this should be a temporary thing. And what counselors are there for. “Hey I’m about to be a dad and having a mental breakdown help me so I don’t take it out on my wife.”
The things you quoted your husband saying- I think I would just turn around and tell him he has some fucking nerve to think that one of your purposes on this earth, in any degree, is to worry about your body weight after having twins so he will return to finding you fuckable. And his mommy issues are not your problem. He needs to go work that out with his own therapist. Because he is fucking cruel and expecting you to do the emotional and physical labor- while recovering from twins- to repair your relationship, your body, and your sex life- when this is a him problem.
Good luck.
“I'm not breaking up with you because you told me or because your trans, I'm breaking up with you because you didn't tell me before having sex. Your manipulative, deceitful, and denied my ability to choose and those are deal breakers.”
In what way?
I'm so glad. (My best friend was BPII. The meds made a big difference.)
Maybe don't make any big decisions about your life/wife until you are steady on your meds. (but likely you should get a divorce – certainly don't give her any money)
And remember this:
Sometimes (in life) the worst things that happen to you ultimately lead you to find a better life. I think that is what is happening to you.
I'm thinking of you and sending good vibes your way. Take care of yourself.
So what? Your relationship is over. You don’t have to keep covering her ass. Move on and work on yourself.
Some people can live without sex. Some can’t. You should check out r/deadbedrooms to see what you are in for & if you think you can handle it.
He was thinking with his small head
That's why I don't want to close it
Must be the only man in her town I guess and even then I'd suggest dump the man and get a cat
You sound like you're OP's husband!
Interesting point. I went through her texts one time when we were ordering food (huge breach of trust here, I know. But I was hoping to get insight into whether there was cheating or she wasn’t satisfied with the sex) and I saw her telling close friends she was “having the best sex of her life” and great overall things about me in that department. That was at the 5 month mark however, I didn’t see much mention of my game beyond that point. It was at the 1 year mark that I did this.
Yeah, you’re absolotely right. I wish we weren’t so busy all the time. It’s a bit difficult because we live in tourist area and almost no one rents out places to regular people, only tourists. We considered buying a place, but that’s just really expensive at this time with real estate being at its highest atm.
“Just” a black American. That speaks of elitism to me. Subconsciously she may think of you as less, brotha. Run!!!
I have some patience, but this posting was too much. You need to bullet point and get to the point!
No one gets my phone pin ever- there’s probably stuff on my phone from long before I knew you and don’t even remember is still on there- none of your business. You get to know who I am now, who I was 10 years ago when we didn’t know each other is none of your business unless I choose to share it with you
If you're doing the majority of the conversational heavy-lifting, you must be exhausted. Why not let him go? Find someone you can have an actual 2-way conversation with.
You should ask him to cancel the reservation and see what amount of money he can get back. Most hotels will accept cancellations unless they are very last-minute.
You should point out that he is not paying his share of rent yet, and he would have an option to stay with family for this convention.
It's important not to let this slide. You are at a stage of training him in adult responsibilities, so each and every time something like this happens, it's a precedent. If you let this slide just to avoid conflict (or because he acts like an ass about it), you'll find him doing it over and over again. Make sure he understands that there are consequences for mutual expenses.
What you should not do: call him horrible with money; call him immature; complain that he was deceptive with you; etc. The point is not to browbeat him and “win” this battle. The point is to educate him about couple's responsibilties to each other. Good luck!
Literally a million other things to do besides cheat and betray your wife. Have you ever heard of getting a hobby??
I hope your wife finds out so she can divorce you so fast.
She needs to stay with her mom, you break up and this relationship is over.
Stop being controlling and insecure. She’s allowed to have friends and meet them, regardless of gender. Keep carrying on like this and you’ll find yourself single, because she’ll feel forced to choose and it won’t end well for you
This sounds like a communication issue then. I think you should at least try and have a good long honest conversation about how you’ve been feeling and ask for how she has been feeling before you just say “let’s call this off.”
What does this person not know? Please enlighten us all because I think the above post makes excellent points. He is being a hypocrite, please explain how he’s not.
He currently pays half of what core utilities cost over a year ago. He also pays £45 towards food. Bills have gone up £150 for me already, and will go up another £300 shortly. Food was originally £90 but I'm now regularly footing the extra on a £130 weekly food bill. It feels unfair because I'm barely at home by comparison. He's always on his pc, heat full blast when he's not at work whereas if I'm here by myself I have been sat here with no heating and I won't even turn the tv on half the time to spare cost. He demands a certain quality of food, and eats more than half of it. I've just this week bought a lock box with a code because he eats his snacks and mine.
But thanks for your comment, I appreciate you taking the time to give me some advice
Maybe he was lying. Maybe once he started truly thinking about having children he realized those things are more important to him than he thought.
I love pets but more than 2 would be too much.
I've been suicidal and have self harmed in the past, I would NEVER intentionally hurt another person. In fact, when I'm suicidal it's because I think everyone would be better off without me and I'm a burden.
Stop spreading misinformation and demonising people with a crippling, horrible illness.
There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.
George W. Bush
I think OC was referring to romantic attraction. Not physical. That's also what I meant.
Easier to just to agree surely, but know that you are right?
This isn’t what you deserve. in a situation like this, I wouldn’t even expect my friends to act this way and not defend me let alone my actual partner.
Please don’t stay with someone who doesn’t have your back.
This is the typical obsessive fitness guy. You chose to date him so… either you can deal with it or you brake it off
Anyone who can sit there and lie about going through something so horrific, then asking for and receiving support under such a guise, is not a good person.
She has shown you she's a bold faced liar. You likely won't (and shouldn't) be able to trust her moving forward.
Take some time to work on yourself and learn to demand the respect you deserve.
I don't know really, I guess I wanna if he admits to it or just gives a bunch of lies as excuses but either way a break up is happening
I have but he doesn’t seem interested. I always initiate the cuddling and he doesn’t. He’s content with a single kiss and nothing more as his form of affection. But a month prior it was completely opposite, it’s just confusing.
I'm with someone who genuinely cares about me (28M) and we have had some arguments but we solved them, we were very close to just walking away from each other. I was 100% sure that I didn't want children at all because of the mess that I got myself in and my overall attitude to life.
OP, you're only 24…so it's not surprising that you still might change your opinion on certain things.
Sit your bf down, tell him that you most likely changed your mind and probably want a child further down the road (biological or not). It's important for him to know, since this can also have an impact on how you would handle an accidental pregnancy at this point.
She's a that, why in fucks sake do you even need to ask this question. RUN. You can't save a thot
At the very least it’s cruel. It the equivalent of asking someone out IRL a when it’s a prank.
If you relent she could actually start messaging/meeting people.
The only way this could work is if YOU make her profile on your phone and she agrees to not play on Tinder herself. Even then it’s an immature thing to do.
No good can come or this.
OP works all weekend – so why does it matter where he is? She’s not there to spend time with him anyway?
I really see from this that your deepest concern is whether you forced them into sex. I get it. I don't know about you but I've been r*ped and my partner just recently had to reassure me that I am not doing anything to them nonconsensually, because I almost never even initiate sexy times because I'm terrified they will feel pressured in any way, despite them never saying this or me actually doing anything bad.
Similarly, I've had sex when I didn't want to many times because I just struggled to say no, and most of those people had NO idea that I would have preferred not to, and they didn't r*pe me either, but someone did and there's emotional repercussions of that. Any chance you have something similar going on?3
Mine wouldn't be, and I'm a grumpy, middle-aged, hairy armpitted feminist.
He feels really insecurity, like if you go secretly to an organise each month.
Make it clear he had his daughter and you have your glamping. No one has to ask the other to abandon it.
Actions are more important than words. He can say anything to make you stay for whatever reason but is he doing something to make you not question everything? I don't see it. He can even marry you but will it be any different? He's still angry about falling apart with his ex and I don't see a reason for you to fight so nude and for what? Why do you want to share a man and never be the one?
Short answer, if you are not comfortable with this your should not accept it.
??? Kick him out and file for a divorce! If he was the least be remorseful, he wouldn't be refusing to cut ties with her!
……actually, you do have a very valid point.
Thank you for your advice Lady, I’m leaning towards putting some physical space between us for a while and seeing how that goes. I predict I will realise I am better off without him.
Thank you for your advice Lady, I’m leaning towards putting some physical space between us for a while and seeing how that goes. I predict I will realise I am better off without him.
BF has champagne tastes on a beer budget. But, wondering what the future is in this relationship if they can’t get on the same page financially.
The man doth protest too much?
So you think he’s treating me badly?
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This is tough. In your shoes, I would divorce and start the process for buying sperm. Why tie yourself to him even remotely? What if you get pregnant and he changes his mind out of nowhere some day? That's just inviting drama and problems.
her loss of control
What control? He tells her she's fat so much that now the children do, too. And he's proud of that fact. He's not the good guy here.
File for divorce and go for joint or full custody, depending on if you think she’s a neglectful mother. But keeping her as a wife is not good for you. You need to move in from this toxic relationship.
The only problem you have is all of these stories? no one knows about. Except your BF.
She's going “I want to mend bridges” and everyones like “okay? why not? She's a good person!”.
You're sitting here with stories of being bullied. Someone else being bullied. Her telling you you're nothing but a “pussy”. And that's just you. She's treated Laila worse… telling her, basically, she's not worth living?
Yeah… I'd write up something similar and post it somewhere for all to see. “I've been asked why I won't forgive Emily. Here are the reasons why.”. If you only include stuff about you (and not Laila)? These stories here – and you're at the half way point? are more than enough that I would never speak to her again. And if I did… it would be laced with curse words and venom to return the favor.
Forgive her? I'm not one to anger quickly or permanently as a general rule but… if half of what you've said is true… I'd never forgive that and I'd never talk to her.
If your BF doesn't understand all of this? You may need to rethink him being your BF. She's family and if he's putting her first? Knowing all you've told him? That's not good.
My best friend revealed a conversation her and I had about him after she got upset with him. The conversation was her thinking he was gay and me agreeing with her because I told her that two other coworkers suspected that also. So one day she got mad at him for something and told him all of this. Afterwards we talked about it and he got an understanding on what was going on. Basically the two coworkers were jealous. There was no nude feelings towards me after we talked.
Well, it doesn't seem to have worked.
Lol! Like his sensitive ears can’t handle the nude “T” at the end
Oh, god please leave that narcissistic asshole. I've had a father like that and I hate him with every cell of my body and now I will suffer the consequences of his abuse for my adult life. Please talk to her too and ask her to move out from him and if she still wants to be with his father, then it is because she has a trauma bond which means that she needs to leave even more.
Don't stay with someone like that please. 🙁
We haven’t spoke since August since his gf made him block me on everything (keep in mind she frequently checks up on me + stalks my socials often) and has been known in his relationship to be super stalkish and needs to approve who he follows + follows him live
Frankly, he may have thought you were nagging him and decided enough was enough. Take the hit. You’re both very young.
Also, is he telling you that he loves you only after you tell him first?
Long distance is nude to do. Let him go and get out there making new memories with your friends. If your relationship is meant to be, one day it just might. I But for now, have fun!
So you start crying because he won’t leave you alone? Is that what you mean?
My dude. This woman is legally married to someone else. She is treating you like garbage and pretty obviously staying til she gets permanent residency and then you will be nothing to her. A divorce bill was approved a month ago over there – did she mention that to you? Surely she is aware of that.
He goes from « you’ll never find someone more compatible with you than me » to « you’re the worst person in the world » in the same sentence. Either he’s a manipulative jerk or he’s telling her he hates himself. Or both.
So you knew that she was lying about very important things that were incredibly hurtful to you.
And you still decided to marry her.
Stop having sex with her immediately.
If you're unhappy and uninterested in saving the relationship, just get a divorce. You're not obligated to be married or stay married. Honestly, people here might ask for what her side of the story is, what she lied about etc. But it doesn't matter. You made a mistake and now you need to fix it. No need to wait on initiating the divorce.