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This is definitely a boundary overstepped! It normal for some but I'm guessing if this hasn't happened in the 2.5 years you've been together this is new behaviour and concerning! If she didn't cuddle him while she was a lesbian why is she cuddling him now she has a known attraction to men
I wouldn't stay with a partner who refuses my pets. I don't have kids, but staying with someone who refuses your kids is completely nuts.
I understand why your boyfriend might be frustrated with how very hot you have to work but it's not going to get any easier once you are actually in medical school. You'll be working very naked there too. For years. Then, assuming everything goes well, you'll be a doctor and you will also be working incredibly nude. If he cannot deal with the fact that this is the life you've chosen, then he's not for you.
That's for sure!
I've made comments that to me were in jest but were really hurting him.
What comments did you make specifically?
What’s a cooker? Genuinely asking
Honestly, we have a super limited view on what he's actually like. Based on your description, he sounds doesn't seem to understand reality. No one gets to say no when someone else breaks up with them. That's not how any of this works. ?
I do find it a little concerning that you're agreeing to his “no”. That might be others concern too; a lot of people who cave so quickly have also been abused in some way in the relationship.
Anyways, I hope everything works out for you. You deserve to live your best life.
First OP, there's absolutely no denying that your husband screwed up big time. And if it's an absolute deal breaker for you, that's fine, but please decide for yourself – and do what's best for you.
IF it was in fact a donation at a fertility clinic (and they have the paperwork), then that may (or may not) make the whole thing more tolerable.
And from there it seems like the betrayal of not discussing this ahead of time may be worse than anything else. As if you were on board, then the idea may not have seemed so horrifically bad.
So this is a difficult decision for you to make – but imho there aren't any absolutely right or wrong answers. And one option that you have is to take some time to decide – maybe taking some time away from him to think about it (and to see how he responds),
break up!!!!
Considering my best friend years back tried to show her then boyfriend my nipples because she thought they were perfect. Yes, she’d seen them that many times. But it all depends on the people. If you’re comfy with your body, who cares. If you’re not, who cares. But saying you can’t show your friend your body? Take a hike.
Omg please no don't get surgery for anyone! He obviously doesn't care that much about how “perfect” they look since he's not with them anymore. Also have a conversation with him and yes therapy
Exactly. Like what do they talk about. The guy wants arm candy. The daughter is pissed. I never liked my mom but I still wouldn't like it. Too weird.
Yeah he’s never had to worry. He’s never been cold or hungry.
Lol are you looking for an excuse here to tell your wife while you really cheated?
I remember a post from a while back involving three siblings, all of which had children. They were planning their yearly vacation and decided on Disneyland. One sibling said I can’t afford that. Other two said that blows and planned the vacation without her. So many people in the comments were like NTA, if she doesn’t have the money it’s not your problem. I literally can’t imagine excluding one of my loved ones like that. Me and my sisters would have had the whole family pool some resources to make that experience possible for them if one of us couldn’t afford it. Or not been an asshole and gone somewhere cheaper.
Be a man. Don't share women with a buddy. That's some weak ass shit. No sloppy seconds.
Don't worry about having a female “friend”. The way you feel will always be the way you feel. She will fuck Chad after Chad and always keep you there as Mr dependable, Mr emotional tampon, never giving you the shot.
I'd forget about her. Remember, men gain value over time (if they work at it) because women want physical and financial security. Women Lose value over time because men want youth and beauty (and submissiveness, older women like to fight about dumb shit cause they're so far gone) .
Your situation gets better if you care only about yourself, work on yourself and you'll ATTRACT the correct women. Not chase them..don't do that. Build your value. It a better option that racing the age clock trying to tie down another human (woman's game).
There are billions of women. Billions. Work out, learn a skill that's sexy (sax, guitar, MMA, foreign language) and fucking DISTANCE yourself from both the friend and the chick.
You need men with the same goals, men who view the world as “i don't want that woman if you want her that bad, I'll go get those over there”.
Not a man who's gonna Weasle in and try and fuck your wife while youre away at work.
We last talked on Friday. Even then it felt like the convo was abruptly ended.
I would suggest “Thank You.” Message just to put it all behind. There are more and more reasons for him to text but trying to know what exactly it is won't really help you and the message will put an end to whatever it is or it is not, good call on telling your spouse. Try not to pay heed to it as much. It will eventually fade away like it did the last time. Only this time it won't hurt. Take care!
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You’re young just end it. Find a place to stay or if its your place tell her to pack up and find a place and leave. If you get in another fight make sure you are recording the audio of the situation. If you haven’t already taken the ring back do that as well.
There are plenty of people out there that could be just as compatible if not more who wont abuse you.
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I was in the exact same position personally, dummy.
I love my father, but I loathe him for what he did to my mother. “Aren't his problem” – someone hurting my mother, physically or emotionally, is definitely my problem.
The mother should obviously get therapy, the kid should realise he does need to pick – he's upset at his mother for her response when the whole issue stems from his father's actions. His father is the one that caused the whole issue.
What do you mean by pressuring you?
If it’s just talking about “marriage material”, that’s not so bad and not necessarily a red flag, it could just be normal relationship talk about future plans.
The “typical” relationship steps are: dating, boyfriend/girlfriend, engaged, married.
So if you two are in the serious stage of only seeing each other, talking about engagement is the next reasonable step.
If this is how it is, how are you responding?
I’m just wondering if it’s normal relationship talk about escalating the relationship … and you’re taking it the wrong way and changing the current relationship and making it fail.
read some of your comments here. “strongmanning” isnt the way to go here. please take your time to process the comments made by others and take the information they give you at face-value. only ask questions for clarity reasons here, and not because you want to get a persons best argument regarding your life. and if someone points a negative trait out, sit on that comment for a while and consider the truth of it before jumping to defend yourself (and contradicting yourself in the process). please also take the time to reread and re-process the comments youve already replied to, once again taking the information to be true.
the reason why people callimg you exhausing in this comment section, and while im sure that others in your personal life find you exhausting, is because you put a lot of emotional labor on them and take energy and time out of their day. people in the comments are fighting here to explain their points over and over again, just so you can leave the conversation satisfied while theyre left drained.
this is also true when you turn casual, in-person conversations into arguments and try to “no but-” their claims. it is very exhausting for a person to prove themselves to you while following social etiquette. you are neither following social etiquette, nor do you feel the pressure of having to prove a point on the stop to another person. while you leave most interactions unscathed, others will find the experience to be highly unpleasant.
i am just saying this because i agree that if you dont reach out to a therapist (who maybe specializes in autism), you will lead a lonely life.
before you answer, assume that my statements here are true.
How do you mean. I tried this
Instagram was near the top so I asked him if he had one to which he insisted he didn't have an Instagram
The dishonesty is pretty key here. A guy having friends that are women is not an issue. The lying is an issue though.
Have you asked him why he lied?
okay
No it just hurts me so much to just now realize all these things about them, I didnt realize all this till recently, as in the past few months…
What makes things worse is that the foundation that the relationship I was in was built on mistrust. My ex partner actively pursued me despite me being in a relationship.
He said he wants a relationship just that he wasn’t ready for that because of where we were at that time. I told him I will come but we’re not hooking up and he agreed
He’s telling you that he’s completely happy with the amount of effort he’s currently putting into the relationship and doesn’t have interest in putting in more to make you happier. You wanting more is just an annoyance to him, why can’t you just be happy with being given next to nothing? As is, he won’t change. If you threaten a breakup, he’ll put in more effort for a few weeks until he thinks he has you locked down again, and it’ll slip back to this. You deserve a man who wants to take you on dates. Who wants to put in effort to make you happy, and who you don’t have to beg.
She also sees her friend getting all these gifts, does she know what their financial situation is?
Are they paying this off or racking up a massive debt?
It's an attempt at gaslighting. She's trying to make op think he's wrong or crazy for not being ok with her sleeping with a woman. That's the beginning of gaslighting 101z
Eh, I get that. It’s not about the content. The chat does seem to be lighthearted. It’s more about that maybe he or his family don’t take me seriously or I’m just an afterthought for everyone….or not even a thought at all I guess. But, sounds like it’s something deeper I’ll have to talk out with my boyfriend that maybe I was missing.
Dude ask her to see her phone, if she refuse walk away
Your daughter has style. Its just how she expresses herself. Have you tried learning more about why? Maybe you could express an interest. Maybe do a matching outfit for shits and giggles
He is not gentle or sweet. Not at all a good relationship
She said “very little”, so I’m guessing any connection is the one we all generally have if we are of the same race, general vicinity, etc.
So now you have another kid… One who isn't an adult, are you going to allow Amanda to force you to always choose her over your new child? What if your younger daughter has a play but Amanda demands you come see her or she will never speak to you again?
Why do you want to be with someone so badly who is this controlling?
Did she say yes? If she said yes, you have every right to be upset bc she knows exactly why he wants to go on vacation with her.
If she said no, why are you arguing with her just bc she shared what he proposed?
I agree and I understand as well that it was my fault. I was standing with my boyfriend, holding his hand in a group of 6 people when this guy made a sweet remark and just because I find him like a younger brother, and very simple, I touched his cheek in adoration. However, thats no explanation. My bf can't help but find this unfair. I have stopped interacting him apart from greetings these days. But no matter how remorseful i feel, i can't change what i have done and every time I as much as say hi to him, my bf gets flashback of that day.
If you love me OP, you’ll look past me firing this gun at a crowd of people. No one was even hit!!
Sounds like she needs a lot of make attention aside from you.
I have something like this before. I'll tell you the pros and cons
Pro's: *Extremely calm and mature about certain things. *Knows how to treat lads *Good in bed
Cons: *As you grow old and gain maturity, then the conflict starts. *You won't be able to flaunt him *Your perspective and his would be completely opposite and the chances of you believing in his are high(because you'll think that since he is way older than me makes him more naive)
Conclusion: don't do it. This is a dead end. You'll be the one at loss.
You both decided this, or did you want it and he went along with it because he wanted to make you happy?
Also, no mention of him finding someone else. So by definition he is the only person here among the three of you who lost something. You seem unwilling to acknowledge that.