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Model from: co
Languages: es
Birth Date: 2003-02-02
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
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1 Million is not a lot of money when you're broke. I suggest your first concern is to find out how to make it last. After that money is safely invested or safely kept, it's not really pocket change. Doesn't matter to any prospective partner.
I'm sorry for you, I can only imagine how difficult this must be for both of you.
don't be scared, don't feel weird, its normal
My family has been in Canada for generations, and I prioritize work over pretty much everything. I've missed important events and all sorts of things some people would take time off for.
It's not always a culture thing, really. But it takes a different angle to understand the mindset of workaholics sometimes. Sometimes, workaholics just don't give a shit about life, so they user work as a distraction, and that's almost never a good thing.
But others see work as incredibly important because the world is a tough place, and you have to prove yourself. You have to prove that you have what it takes to get the job done on time and correctly, otherwise you'll end up punching a clock somewhere for pennies.
Sometimes it's an irrational fear, but the reality is this: even America/Canada aren't what they used to be. You have to work very naked and be very focused to make something of yourself unless your parents hand it to you.
You're better to work very hot, prove yourself, make the money, and not have to worry about medical bills, cars breaking down, losing your home, getting evicted, or whatever the case may be.
If he's anything like me, he definitely cares about you more than work, but work is a lifeline to him. A reputation in his field is the source of the things that keep stability and health.
However, I don't know him, so don't simply take my word for it. He may be someone who only cares about his job and not about the people in his life. You have to think hard about it, consider the many angles, and make your decision.
It can be an expression of trust and intimacy.
Pretty sure 80% of adults in the US have that. 4/5. Most people call it cold sores. They will go away and not really be a bother unless unhealthy and stressed. Also pretty sure they made a cure for herpes a couple years ago but noone talks about it because it was during the height of covid.
Well, the victim blaming of the teen fan doesn't help.
You are also using alcohol/drugs as an excuse for the behavior and downplaying it, like he actually wasn't responsible but drugs make him do it.
I really don't have any suggestions other than going low contact or no contact. For those that believe her lies about you, their loss. My hubby's sister is a lying, mean, vindictive, two faced individual who always plays the victim. She would blame me everything to their parents….and 9 times out of 10, i had no clue what the hell she was talking about. She would try to tarnish my chatacter as well. Im generally a kind and compassionate person whose introverted and very much a peace keeper, so i would just apologize and try to make peace. That never worked. It got to the point where i started sticking up for myself hoping she would back off…that made things worse. I could go on and on about the hell she put me through. I wont even get started about my hubby's involvement. Only time she played nice was when she needed something. I caught on to her tricks and I went NC and its been a blessing. If your SO doesnt want to rock with his brother, I'd just go LC as possible. She'll reap what she sows one day.
Really. You're too old for this. Learn to drive.
Move forward……………Without her
First, thank you for you response. I didn’t think you were brash in your post at all.
We’re currently exclusive. I guess I trust him more because he’s been honest with me about stuff he didn’t have to tell me. “I made out with this girl at the bar” or “I asked this girl to come home with me”, etc. he did it quite a bit in September and October while we were not exclusive.
He’s lied so much in our relationship. It’s sickening the amount of lies he’s told me: where he’s from, his military experience, to even sending nudes to a gay man for money and clothes.
My therapist says I’m towing the line of being a saint and being completely insane to let him back in my life. I’m really broken right now.
You're clearly not exclusively attracted to men, or else you wouldn't have ended up in the situation you're in. But, also clearly, you're still figuring out what your limits are. So tell her that you want to take it more slowly, and explore your limits from a feeling of safety and security.
Sooner or later, you'll figure out whether this is for you, or not.
Nope, you have every right to be pissed. She’s just upset because you pointed out how much she fucked is.
Read the second to last paragraph
You’re probably used to *ssholes who would stay in there indefinitely and string you along, no?
So maybe this guy “seems” weird bc he’s pleasantly the opposite
One of my closest friends was in an abusive relationship for years. He was in the military. It was so naked to watch because she wouldn’t leave him no matter how very hot I tried to get her to. She called me once sobbing and I heard banging in the back ground and she asked me to come and get her. I called the cops because I was afraid something would happen before I could get there (she lived 30min away) and I didn’t feel safe going alone. He didn’t really like me knowing I was trying to get her to leave him. On my way there she called me and the police were already there. She said they were fighting and he said he would shoot her and when she saw him going to the gun safe she ran. She couldn’t run out the front door since she would have to run past him. While I was driving there she had climbed out the window and ran down the street. That was when she finally decided that she had to leave him. However of course he tried to love bomb her and I was worried she would give in so I called her dad and told him what happened. I’m on the east coast and he lives on the west. He took the next flight out here and told her to come home. He managed to talk sense into her.
Please just at least seriously consider it. I know it’s not as easy to leave when women are in abusive relationships. I’ve seen it first hand several times and it never gets better. It only gets worse.
it could be the reason that her husband is no longer attracted to her as she claims
I would be bringing new “friends “over, in my room and loud fucking too. And have a few friends over for a drinks and roast night, we drink and roast her ass.
Sorry it's a lot of text lol
I've tried a lot to engage with him. Actually, we became friends in the first place because we played this 20 questions type game where we each ask a personal question to become closer. And every night I try asking him about how his day was, what he's thinking about, etc. But I usually end up getting one word answers and I have to pry any type of engagement out of him. What I meant by him knowing everything about me is that I don't really have a way to carry the conversation anymore.
And of course I like him! In the early part of our relationship, he really made an effort to connect with me. Whether that be through sharing shows to watch, or sending me memes, or getting me little gifts to show he listens to what I'm saying. That's what I like about him. He really goes out of his way to listen and remember.
As for common interests, we both like that show Gilmore Girls and baking. We bake together sometimes. We also play Roblix together sometimes lol.
And on him beong quiet, I mean more in a soft spoken, doesn't rock the boat type of way. It's only as of the past few months that he's gone days at a time without saying anything to me. And I know it's abnormal for him too, especially over text. We're in a Discord server together and it's made up entirely of his friends. Days where he's disengaged with me don't really coincide with days he's disengaged with them.
It seems he was speaking out of jealousy/anxiety, which he translated as “anger” or at least annoyance. That wasn't very mature of him, but he's only human. As long as he's generally supportive and enjoys talking with you, I think this is a very normal spat — the level of emotion he showed in his reaction might be worth discussing with him down the road, as it could indicate a deeper anxiety or insecurity on his part, or it might indicate that he feels insecure about your commitment to him and you ought to reassure him on that front.
It's funny cuz she is single now too!
I’m so sorry ?
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As someone with racist parents who dates outside of my race regularly; they're not going to change. NC is my solution. Once they figure out that you won't speak to them because of their prejudices, they have one of two choices: shape the fuck up or not participate in your life. It's honestly up to you and your partner. I would have missed out on a lot of fun times with people I've dated if I allowed my parents prejudices to get in my way.
Hugs from a mom ❤️
You could always tell him directly that you won't tolerate racist remarks like that and that he needs to either quit it or stop contacting you unless it's about your siblings.
I got stress just reading your post?! OMG! I can’t even breathe. Man, got out because it get worse. Good luck
Exactly this. These parents sound like a piece of work.
Research?? Source.
She might have a panic attack when she thinks about what her actions eventually did to you and your marriage and that everyone will know what she did to you, but that is the reality and she has to face it someday. It happened and there is no denying. Her actions obliterated your trust and once it is gone it stays gone. No matter how well you are doing one day it flashes into your brain…how easily she went behind your back to have sex with this guy, gave him everything that she wouldn't give you. You gave her time to adjust, she might need help from her therapist but one day she will live! with it and maybe regret it but you will both on-line your lifes separate. Then your new life will begin.
This has happened to me before. Hilarious, I could not stop laughing ?
You are right! Its so naked for me to see the red flags as red. I constantly turn them into orange or yellow
I liked him. But, my friends said he might see what I said I’m a bad light and not see me as a serious person to date.
I liked him. But, my friends said he might see what I said I’m a bad light and not see me as a serious person to date.
I liked him. But, my friends said he might see what I said I’m a bad light and not see me as a serious person to date.
Maybe your mother was raped.
Yes you overreacted
And why did it even come up? Did he volunteer the info or did you ask him about her?
Without more info, like how often they talk/see each other now, their friendship may not be a threat to your relationship and this just makes you sound super insecure and immature.
I am happy with our relationship but I get sad when I think about everything we aren’t doing
The question I would be working on with your therapist (a new one if you feel the current one isn't helping you anymore) is WHY? Why do you think it is sad that you are seven months into dating and are “sad” that you aren't engaged, moved in, getting a pet? WHY have you set these frankly ridiculous timeline goals? WHY do you feel you have to move so fast through what /u/ImHereForTheDogPics correctly calls a “checklist”, as if this is a video game where you “win” by collecting all of the pieces of the McGuffin as quickly as you can but here it's a lease and a cat and a ring all in under a year? WHY?
See that is my problem because we have different boundaries as people and he is affectionate with everyone but why did he pull me aside as we said goodbye to tell me how pretty I look. It's little moments like those that I tend to overthink because for me that seems strange but maybe for him it's just another Saturday. So I could Definitely be interpreting things wrong and I don't wanna make things wierd by saying things
I'm sorry man, but she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you anymore. For relationships to work both people must be willing, and she's not.
Break ups happen. It's gonna suck, but you will have to endure. Maybe try distracting yourself with friends and hobbies.
Ask yourself if you really want to be with someone who doesn't actually want to be with you?
Here in Italy it is also commonly accepted platonically and among family members, which means chances are you would actually get more than one mimosa during Woman's Day
I don't think you were rude at all to Bob. He made a choice not to come to the wedding, and we may never know whether that decision was made from cowardice or growth. There's nothing more to do or say in this situation though, so I would leave it.
He said I hope you're flourishing, you know that's peak pettiness ? but how much more nicely can you say don't be a dick than that?
When pull out fails, abortion prevails! Sounds like you wanted another one anyway, considering you kept it.
This is lovely. You know, I’m like your boyfriend. I love an aquiline nose. It makes you look Royal!
It would have been a more believable story if you said they had found a porn video of someone who looked similar to your gf. You just reached too far with saying they somehow managed to find someone who just happened to look exactly like your gf and shot a porno with her in one day.
Youre helping so fucking much thank you so much. One last question, do you think if I showed him the replies to this post (as its anonymous strangers and wont affect him in that sense), it would give what Im saying some more credibility? Or is that a terrible idea that will just cause another anrgument? I fear he will feel offended or defeatist. I just want him to see. So we can fix it. Or try. But, i have no credibility or any hope of getting through by myself
She was 19 so it makes sense. She knew nothing and he had a plan. At age 23 she still won't be able to see his other red flags. No 23 year old does.
You mention alcohol. Was your fiancé intoxicated? Did this happen in your parents home ?
You really need to think long and naked about your relationship and future. You have a severely autistic son and a soon to be step son who is completely out of control. It seems things are not getting better but worse. The stress of both boys has a high chance of breaking down your marriage. Love isn’t enough for a lasting relationship and you really need to think about what your future will look like with both boys. I’m in the mental health field and your son will likely get worse, I’m not saying that to be mean just to point out that if you have someone in the home instigating and triggering episodes and break downs it’s not good. Your fiancés prediction that her son will land in legal trouble sounds about right at this time. Obviously I don’t know the whole story but I would have him re-evaluated by a different doctor. I feel there is more going on and they have a misdiagnosis. Please think about your son and his safety. Children like your son are extremely vulnerable in society and it seems so in his own home.
Are you being deliberately obtuse? It’s not about what a baby remembers. It’s about the mom, who was forced to go through the most traumatic, painful, terrifying moment of her life alone.
He didn’t say he wanted nothing to do with kids. He simply said it’s not mine ask one of your other boyfriends. To which she blocked and cut contact. He didn’t want to be back with her, but that is a separate thing than knowing his kids.
She says they were already broken up when she found out she was pregnant. And the relationship was in a bad place already before the break up.
Then he gets contacted (and here OP leaves out a lot of what she says but shares what he said) out of the blue by an ex whom he had a pretty rough relationship with anyway, to say she’s now pregnant.
Sure he responded dismissively as he has his insecurities/suspicions- but OP blocked and contact with them before really having any time to process.
He could have tried responding while blocked and she never received it. Or he could have interpreted that one off contact with no further outreach as proof she was just trying to sucker him back into the relationship and she wasn’t actually pregnant – or was but not keeping it – because he never heard from her again.
All it takes for evil to thrive in this world is for good people to stand by and do nothing…this is exactly what you and your “friends” are doing…absolutely nothing.
If you are silent, you are condoning it. When we have friends, we have responsibility to do right by them…do you really think that letting him get away with this behaviour is best for him? He’s actively hurting others and in turn hurting himself, because when he wakes up and starts self reflecting….that shit is going to hurt so badly, and you and your friends enabled and condoned it. It’s a betrayal of the friendship you say you have with him.
OP how did you find out and is there an update?
How many of his friends and family has he introduced you to? When you're in public together, does he introduce you as his girlfriend?
Being private is fine. But his actions sound like he's using his social media to appear single. And that is far more troubling.
Yep, I know.. I’ve got an update, but it got flagged for review in a different sub so I’ve got to figure out what to change before I post it here
It’s almost like that isn’t what’s happening.
Unless your boyfriend is also your doctor, you shouldn't be taking medical advice from him
You're definitely right, have to be very careful about next steps because it can't be undone. I will ofcourse talk to her about it before anything since she had the video but has since deleted it. Not even sure if its even there anymore.
These are dangerous thoughts and I must tread carefully. Thank you for your thoughts!
I suppose I can understand why guys feel this is different, but . . . sigh
She could still get a disease.
She can still be pounded with a strap-on.
She was likely curious herself, especially because she missed out on the experiences & self-discovery phase that comes with growing up. Probably been getting the tingles.
She was guilty enough to come clean, but not guilty enough to stop or never start.
I won't jump straight to divorce, but therapy, separate & couples, is necessary. She needs to be sure she is more than okay being with one person for the rest of her life. This may not be the end of her curiosity & it can definitely be a man next time. Maybe more self-exploring & honesty with herself she realizes she's actually lesbian. Who knows.
Dropping the friend is the BARE minimum as well as OP not thinking flirty women don't have the same ulterior motives as flirty men. You need to understand this, OP.
And you both need a lesson in boundaries.
Gotcha
If you love her then tell her. She doesn't deserve deciept as if you didn't do what she basically prophesied into fruition by her constant worry and questions.
Tell her or break up. Simple as that.
Find someone your own age. This is gross.