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Kates Kurves- back after the hurricane ends, 32 y.o.
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Day 7. I broke up with her for good. Now I fix my life.
“How do I tell them” questions always have the same answer. You tell them. Kindly and honestly.
You do realize it’s okay to say no to a wedding invite? At the end of the day, she’s not going to care that you’re not there.
You can put on a LOT of weight in 6 months, it’s double standards showing on Reddit once again.
Please don't move in with him. Get yourself a roommate to cover costs if necessary, and when he has his shit together he can move in with you. I'm sympathetic to his situation but I don't see it getting better if he moves in with you.
When did you realise he wasn't saving and was in debt? Has he been keeping this from you?
Gotta agree with everyone here.
He's likely respected this boundary because he didn't want to hurt your feelings early on in the relationship, not because it's the right thing to do. You should work on your insecurity, cause that's all it is. Nothings wrong with you or him, you're just being insecure and acting like he should just “live with it”.
New year is approaching, hurry up and take out the thrash. Start your life anew.
Yeah good advice, we already have one, this is why I don’t get why it’s an issue
How about she try to become a foster parent instead?
It seems like you’re blurring the lines between what your potential capability as a grandparent is right now vs what it would be as a new parent. You haven’t really said anything in any of the responses that indicate that you’ve considered and thought through how a baby would fit into any of this, beyond saying the newborn stage doesn’t last that long. How would a weeknight babysitting gig work when you’ve been at work all day and haven’t seen your baby? And your wife has been home all day and hasn’t had a break? And you’re both exhausted and haven’t been able to sleep through the night and you have work tomorrow? Would you babysit at their home and just skip on seeing your child that day? Or bring your child and all of their baby stuff with you and disrupt their schedule? None of these are real questions obviously, but it just seems like you’re missing the point – things are going to change in your life and relationships – and instead arguing a mesh of it’s not going to change + we’re not typical grandparents + what are typical grandparents anyway + we can still help regularly. This is all essentially a thought exercise – what would being a new parent right now realistically look like for you? If you’ve thought through the actual logistics of that (not just the big picture) and are happy with how it would be for you and the people in your life, then that’s all that matters.
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I would offer her resources and tell her not to reach out to you again. You don’t owe her anything and getting involved might bring ex back into your life, you and hubs don’t need that garbage.
If you want to you can tell her either what to expect from him should she tell him she’s leaving or after she leaves (whichever route you took) or tell her how you did it. But you don’t have to.
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Ok but lonely.
Try/LDR also paragraphs would be good rather than a massive wall of text thats unreadable.
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You're fighting and having all these issues while engaged; do not think getting married is going to magically fix them. If anything use it as a sign neither of you are ready for marriage.
I left a lot of the story out of this post in order to simplify things but check out my other post because I don't think it was one sided.
You are done you can't be with a insecure guy. He's constantly worried he's going to lose you. From the sounds of it you don't have the energy to put into it. There's someone out there for him and you it's just not each other.
you dont think a spouse should try and help their partner with their mental health issues? abandonment is better? i wonder why he kept it a secret?
if he wants to propose then he will. if it's taking too long for you then maybe reevaluate some things
I think you should really stop and consider that he has not chosen to tell you this in the last two years. Do you want him to repeat this behavior with other big pieces of information he thinks you won't like?
For me? Not telling you would be the relationship ender. I would not be able to trust this person to share information with me without me actively researching him.
Yep, I just won the mental battle with myself, I'll just wait for things to unfold, I'll communicate when things are clear enough and my reasons are more than valid enough to tell, thank youuu for the response, I'll just wait for her for the time being, I guess I was just really overthinking, thank you againnn
Doesn’t sou d like she wants to be a part of the bigger picture. This will only get worse if you have a child together – I fear you might be forced to make a choice between her and your child together or your son. She is 34 not 14.
Be honest. Tell him you're looking to date a man. Not a teenager who has to be home when mommy says.
Why isn't she being invited? Why doesn't that bother you?
The only thing that kind of sucks is to hear the person saying they’re pretending to be a man.
Agreed. Of course everyone is sick of Z's bullshit and homophobia, but also slinging shit back doesn't make things right. It's like if a black person got angry at an Asian person and called them a slur, so then the Asian person calls them the N word. Nobody is right or wins.