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Honey and Bear, 30 y.o.
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Sit him down and just ask him. I’d presumably say something like “Obviously 10 months ago, you weren’t really sure how you felt and wanted to take things slower. I just wanted to check in, how do you feel now?”
Yeahhh. I understand everyone has their struggles, but you’ve made good faith efforts to help him and he isn’t reciprocating. There are a lot of other health issues that can stem from poor dental hygiene. I’m assuming we’re talking about a grown adult man here so if he’s got no problem with his bad habits, please don’t take them on as something for you to fix. It’s totally fair to consider this a fundamental incompatibility and break up. I sure would.
Unfortunately, there's not much you can do for her but be supportive. These sorts of situations are trickier than they look on the outside. It's really up to her to make a decision on what she's going to do.
If you prematurely end your relationship with your friend, and she decides to stay — you'll end up the pariah here and won't be able to be there to support her. So tread carefully on your decisions… as sadly that's a pretty typical thing that happens and how these girls end up isolated from their friends or anyone who can stop it from escalating… 🙁
A talk about healthy boundaries is long past due. Your family is right, you are divorced. Your kids are 13 & 11, there is zero reason your family should not be able to spend time with their grandchildren without your ex & his suspiciously new wife joining in. The kids should have been dropped off for a set amount of hours, your ex & his wife giving polite greetings at the door and nothing else.
For reference, I’ve worked in behavioral health. It is quite a muddled emotional dynamic to be modeling to your children. This is not the norm and your feelings should not only matter, but should be respected. You sound self aware enough for me to feel confident in stating you’re not out of line to feel how you do. I’d handle this with grace, but firmly.
A visitation schedule should be set in place, asap. You don’t necessarily have to go to court for this, you can pay to meet with a mediator that will help write one out, to be notarized &/or filed if need be. What’s happening currently, is 100% not okay.
Seriously 30 lbs from 15 to 26. Whoever is making that their focus of their comments…. morons.
Seriously. Grow up the lot of you.
30 lbs over 9 years from teenager to adult is absolutely normal and a super small amount. Hell, tits can take up most of that weight.
Shame yourselves and leave a healthy, growing woman alone.
Exactly, those people are often looking for confirmation that they need to leave their partner and just need encouragement.