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Leave. Never go into a marriage on only hope that it will get better. You should be going into a marriage already confident that your partner is ready to work out any issues. That doesn’t seem to be the case here. You can either commit to leaving now or commit the next several years to something you already know is doomed. I’d save myself the time if I were in your position.
If she’s canceled on you twice already, it might not be worth it to continue dating somebody that doesn’t put in enough effort to show up for dates…
I need a lot of alone time, otherwise I get cranky. So I completely get your desire/need to have one weekend away from everything. I think him being upset about your ONE weekend is a “him problem” that HE needs to solve himself. He may never understand why you need/want to have a solo weekend getaway, but he doesn’t need to understand it. He just needs to accept it. I don’t think you need to spend anymore time trying to pacify/placate him about your weekend, he needs to learn how to self-soothe.
You need to leave her alone and truly commit to working on yourself and your issues. You know why she doesn’t want to be with you, you weren’t a great bf, and you didn’t communicate well either. You kept a pretty big thing from her. Anyway. Work on yourself and your issues. Focus on getting employment. And then maybe start looking for a relationship. Good luck.