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This isn't a situation where she broke up with you over a mistake. There were a million mistakes made that led to you cheating and many of them you fully knew you were about to betray her. You chose to message a woman on an app, you chose to engage in inappropriate behavior, you hid this from your partner, you made plans to have sex, you took off your clothes, you physically had sex with someone, and the many smaller choices.
You have no right to be upset that she had sex with someone else after you broke up when you cheated on her. Granted it's understandable as you clearly want to keep her without holding to the expectations set when you had a relationship. Of course she doesn't trust you. Of course she doesn't feel comfortable with having sex with you. Of course she wants you to show that being with her is more important than sex. You betrayed her and showed no respect towards her. Clearly the fact that you have issue with this boundary means there is no relationship to be had here. Just remember that you're the villain not a victim
Your boyfriend sounds like a coward. He’s afraid to face the most important people in your life so far. That shows a serious lack of respect for you. He claims that he respects your autonomous decision making, but you asked him to speak with your parents. You made that decision to honor your parents’ request. But he doesn’t respect your decision, or he just doesn’t care enough about you to honor your request the way you honored your parents’s request.
If he’s got nothing to hide he shouldn’t be afraid to meet your parents alone. Is he afraid they’ll see through him?
come to my dad without a ring or money, cuz then that would essentially be an empty promise and my bf works hard to make sure he doesn’t say things he can’t back with action. As of now, we have a tentative timeline for 2024 engagement/2025 wedding if he passes his classes and graduates spring of 2023 and gets a job.
That’s almost a good reason but not quite. He can explain those same contingencies to your parents.
It sounds to me like he’s making up excuses.
How about talk to her about the (inside) household chores, if you want yours reduced because now she's a SAHP, just talk to her what are your expectations.
I HATE when people try to be passive aggressive. It's more grating than just talking directly.
For me, I work from home (remote work) and I do 98% of the inside household chores as well as 50% of outside chores, plus I will help out when my husband is outside doing yardwork if I'm not doing anything… And honestly, I also do 95% of the child rearing……
But I don't feel resentful toward my husband or feels like he needs to do more. If I do feel overwhelmed, I'll let him know and he'll help out…just talk about it, tell her what you need her to do, etc.
I get it. I’m sorry for being aggressive. I can’t even imagine.
But still, what advice are you looking for? Do you think your marriage can be fixed (serious question)? If so, we can go from there.
You dodged a bullet, he sounds horrible! Be grateful he is gone and someone elses problem now. Move on and find someone who will treat you right.
I don’t understand what you sleeping with Gwen has to do with Ann, you’re not dating either of these women. You do need to tell Ann bluntly that you are not Interested in a relationship.
I meant tbh , it doesn’t matter when it is. I just thought better soon then later.
I don’t really understand what you could possibly be looking for clarification on…..
From a personal POV, no, I don't understand. Because she can go on whatever trip she wants with any of her friends, whether she has slept with them or not, whether she once liked them or not, etc, and it's no concern to me.
I understand that some people are opposed to it and they feel insecure and uncomfortable around it. Like I get that from an intellectual POV, but not a personal one.
It is always sad to see other suffer from sickness.
Fuck no
Never do that for anyone especially a man
It's not about making as much money as he does. It's about maintaining your earning potential and career opportunities. Hell, if he could get a 60% raise, he'd be all in. That could be your salary as household income!
Couples counseling.
Honestly?
A lot of these scammers actively solicit, so it wouldn't shock me if it was his only time doing anything. They are wanting people who don't do dick pics so often they wouldn't care about consequences. They are looking for people who might pay extortion. It's an active search.
Doesn't change what he did.
A husband who acts incensed and offended at the reminder that he should appreciate his wife (because it's a nationally recognized day for it, no less)? Fuck that guy. Don't do anything for his birthday, and seriously consider life beyond his negativity.
I am the longtime partner (and to varying degrees caretaker) of a woman who also has a series of hard to pin down and get concrete diagnoses for chronic conditions. What you describe is not as rare as you probably think. Go check out r/chronicpain if you'd like. Caretaker fatigue is a real and very tough thing to deal with.
Your biggest hurdles are almost all going to be related to money, and that's just the bitch of it. Money and timing getting things like doctor appointments done while getting as educated as possible together about this situation, because she needs to be on this even more than you, and while it's easy for other posters here to armchair diagnose anything under the sun, what you need is real answers and an action plan. What she needs is to realize that no one but her should be her own strongest advocate, with you being a close second. That is almost impossible until she makes the painful and often delayed effort to get up and move despite her conditions.
I completely understand how much this situation can suck, especially with how a person who you love can change due to being in constant pain. It is not easy to keep that smile up at all times. You are human, as is she.
What you need for yourself is an outlet, my friend. You will 100% not make it without one. Or two or three. Some stress valve that you can use to ease the pressure at regular intervals. Preferably at least one that is just yours and at least one that is for both of you.
I don't want to get too personal in public about this, which I imagine you can understand, but if you'd like you can dm me about this and I can share some bit of what I have learned from dealing with a fairly similar thing for about a decade now.
Everyone here is at the same consensus. Your bf is abusive and you make excuses for his behavior. While I feel terrible for you, you have to be the one to make an effort to stand up for yourself and unlearn these behaviors that have been created by his abuse (for example, wanting to avoid confrontation when he steals your things).
You wrote this post because you know this isn't the way it's meant to be. Don't let this shithead make you doubt yourself.
You won’t like this. Sometimes we put on a if not happy, then polite, face and do things because it makes our partner happy. He’s not asking much.