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I’m guessing the superficial stuff isn’t the real issue. Our perceptions of how attractive our partner are can change based on our feelings about them. I would have a long serious talk with her about how your marriage is going in general. Try couples counseling if it doesn’t feel like you guys are able to dig into things on your own.
My husband gained about 30lbs after a back injury. I sat him down and talked to him that I was concerned about his weight gain. I want him to be healthy and happy and have a long life with me. A month or so after we talked, he started tracking his calories and moving more, and lost the weight slowly over a year or so.
But I love him. So he never stopped looking good to me. It didn’t affect my desire for him. I would never have framed the discussion in terms of his attractiveness, in fact I reassured him that I was still attracted! I know that with extreme weight gain, attraction can change, but surely with a profound love the attraction will stay in spite of some extra pounds?
That’s why I think there’s something else, something deeper going on
If you believe every story you see on RA is true then this would be compelling evidence. Problem is that it’s painfully obvious a lot of these are creative writing exercises.
The quality advice given on this sub depends entirely on the first handful of comments and upvotes. I’ve seen some very insightful comments, and I’ve seen a LOT of comments that make me shake my head and wonder why teenagers feel the need to give relationship advice. EVERYONE is cheating according to this sub, and EVERYONE should immediately end their relationship without talking to their partner.
I've never asked to read any boyfriend's messages anywhere. I have had boyfriends that have asked for passwords, though. At the time I said sure, because I wasn't hiding anything. But it sure does feel like she doesn't trust you, right?
Most of the couples that I'm around have an open book policy on their phones. They use each other's phones and they can read stuff if they want to. But they're in relationships where they don't actually have to because they trust each other.
If your girlfriend is never going to trust you and needs to read your conversations all the time, what's the point? I think if you're at a point in your relationship where this is necessary, you either need therapy to deal with the insecurities or you should just be single. No one wants a life where their partner never trusts them.