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I should add another thing. Though this might become a longer read. Please read if you can.
The guy she cheated with recently sent me a screenshot of his and her messages on Instagram in which she says that she is very happy with me, but she and me are supposed to get married soon so she can't stay with this guy any longer. Had circumstances been any different, she would've chosen this guy.
There was a time-stamp for the messages in that screenshot (maybe 1930 hrs or something) and no date (like Aug 20, or yesterday or something). This leads me to believe that the screenshot was taken on the same day that the guy sent me that screenshot. When I asked her why she sent this message to him she says that this message was long back when she was fooling around with him and it is not a recent message.
So there can only be two possibilities:
She is speaking the truth, that the message is older. In this case, the guy has taken the screenshot the day this happened and saved it so he may use it later. She is lying about message.
If this message is recent, then she is clearly lying and there's not point. But if it is not, I have a very hot time believing the 1st possibility. Why would anyone take a screenshot of something in anticipation of using it at a later time? Am I thinking too much? Is this how Instagram really works?
As it should here.
School and your future come first here…
plenty of people have the mandatory classes they have to take and skip out on other things.
you will resent him if u stay and give up on school.
millions of people out there, maybe time to let him go.
It's not your fault she chose to lie and look for other guys' attention. That is on her. You sound like you were really trying to help her and your own mental health as well.
I wouldn’t be friends with anyone one of them
Maybe the men were jealous of him? 😉
So, he has a lot of anxiety about sex but your anxiety about safety is a problem. Got it.
Not really. Pregnancy hormones are not an excuse for disrespecting your partner in front of your family. And if her work was important to her she could have confirmed she had everything she needed herself instead of delegating the responsibility to somebody else. There are appropriate ways she could express her frustration or disappointment.
Cancel it and reschedule a flight with many stops and send the witch on a trip back home.
Get that divorce lawyer and make sure he is upper class, and she gets what she deserves (which is the bottom of the barrel)
I'd fancy a wager that they're 'dating' at OP's or in public and that she's not been to his house during this year
I don't see why OP can't rent a place for her sister without having to move in
First off – you have issues. I would never let someone swear and go off on me like that. I get it you have some issue but being cussing her out is not acceptable ever:
I seriously doubt that one. Anything under 135 is a healthy weight for someone 5’2”. 110 is still in the acceptable range, but it’s by no means toting the line.
For someone 5’6”, 110 put them fairly solidly in the underweight category. It would be like you weighing 97 pounds.
If I understand correctly your boyfriend doesn’t have a job and never had one for the ten years you were together. Is this correct and if he’s, why is he not working?
He is being honest. You made the decision that is best for you at this time. Don't feel guilty about making that decision. He isn't trying to guilt you – he was just talking with his therapist.
He sounds like he is being supportive of you and your needs.
Do you think a sincere apology would make you feel better about this? Or talking about it again? What can she do to fix this, or how can she show you that she truly didn’t mean to hurt your feelings (assuming that’s the case)? Once you figure this out, you can sit down and have a conversation about it again. But there’s no use talking more about it, unless there’s the possibility that you could come out feeling better. Figure out what you need from her.
This seems to be a somewhat common issue, based on posts I’ve seen here before. Everybody has a different perspective. Some people say a person can’t control their preferences, and if their partner no longer fits their preference, they have every right to leave or tell them. Some people say if you really love someone, their appearance shouldn’t matter. Some people would like to know straight-up if the issue is their physical appearance, some would rather their partner beat around the bush and push them in the right direction without confirming or denying that. It’s a sensitive issue, because many people are insecure about their physical appearance. I, personally, would argue that there’s no “right” way to tell your partner you’ve become less attracted to them. There’s really no way to say that without hurting them. But, if that is the issue… there’s also no way to NOT say it without also hurting them in the long run. Had she not come out and told you this, you’d have probably begun to notice her withdrawing physically without ever knowing why, which arguably would have been just as hurtful as being told she’s not attracted to you.
Brutal honesty is not always the best policy in a relationship, but many people still value it and want to be upfront with their partner, even if it’s something bad. This is an impossible subject where nobody can come out unscathed. She isn’t wrong for feeling this way, and you aren’t wrong for being hurt by it. She cannot control her attraction, and you cannot control your emotional reaction. I think, based on your post, that she feels very bad about hurting you. But doesn’t know how to bring it up again without rehashing your feelings. That’s why you should figure out what is going to fix this for you, what could possibly make you feel better… and talk about that with her. She will more than likely be receptive to this, since it seems you really love eachother.
Ok, so he is mostly using silent treatment to keep you in check since (most of the time) you apologize, even if you don't think you should.
Mot related other than being a shitty situation, but I just got yelled at by a mother at work today because her son got shit thrown at him. Her son was the one harassing people in the bathroom stalls.
Nope. Get the fuck out of there.
Stop wasting your time. He’s been clear he doesn’t see you as a gf. Of COURSE he is going to keep seeing you if your going to sleep with him. Why would he put in the effort and commitment of being in a relationship if you are going to give him all the good bits without demanding more?
I truly don’t mean to be unkind, you sound lovely, I can’t imagine you’ll have any issues finding someone who VALUES you and doesn’t need to be harrasssd into making a commitment he doesn’t want. Know your worth and don’t accept anything less. I’m an old lady now and I see so many girls in this exact situation.
If he was going to fall in love with you then he’d have no hesitation. It may be that you calling off everything other than friendship prompts him to realise what he’s missing but don’t do it because of that, do it for your self respect and confidence.
You don’t need a man to be whole. Be too proud to beg. Stick to your guns. No relationship = no sex/gf experience. I wish someone had been as brutal with me when I was younger.
You are clearly smart, kind, expressive and caring. There are men out there who will LOVE you and treat you accordingly. He isn’t one of them.
Well if we’re going to slow down even further than we are now I might need to re-think some things. The thing was that it was extremely frequent and then as soon as I realized she was just doing it for me, we went from every time we saw each other to once a month or once every two. It was not gradual for us, it was sudden.
However your advice on how I should appreciate who it’s made her into rather than as an insecurity is a welcoming one, I can see myself slowly changing my framework to fit that more. although I know and can already tell as I’m attempting now that it is arduous and temporarily seems to make those feelings of insecurity stronger in a weird sense. Nonetheless I do feel that could fix my current problem so thank you very much.
how long has it been since you've had sex?
because it sounds like she's feeling undesirable now and lashed out – which was completely the wrong way to handle it – but the question here is how often has she been turned down, and how often does she make an effort like this?
Nah u right bro, i’m probably tripping but my idk at the same time cause my gut feeling just won’t let go of what I think is happening behind my back. She was messaging me earlier asking why I was ignoring her and she knows I know something and so now she’s on her way to my house which is a 5 hour drive. I don’t know bro, but thank you for listening to me I appreciate it
No. This right here is the problem. You’re pretending you left your gf for Natalie, had sex with Natalie, and realized that you really wanted Michelle & begged Michelle’s forgiveness.
Not quite.
You continued talking to Natalie with an eye to keeping her as an option as you were reconciling with Michelle. Soooo….Michelle’s not wrong. Everything you did demonstrated that Michelle was, at best, your OTHER choice when your fantasy with Natalie didn’t quite work out.