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Birth Date: 2001-02-14
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Ok, so wanting the princess dynamic doesn’t automatically make her a bad person. But the way she’s asking you for it is wrong. To me it sounds like you don’t have open, or healthy communication dynamic with each other. And she finds it easier / less scary to tell you things over text than in person.
From what you’ve written, it seems like she’s been overthinking a mountain of scenarios alone (etc working herself up to think you’re cheating, which could be directly related to her feeling like you’re not making the same effort with her anymore). And the way you’ve made this sound is that this is the first time she’s addressing these issues. Has she brought up these concerns to you before, or tried to? And if so, have you tried to fix anything (seriously)?
Because it sounds like you’re also very conscious that you’re not making the same effort as you did at the start of your relationship. Now that’s entirely your choice and you don’t have to. But you also have to realise that if you made a lot of effort at the start, this is what she expected in the future when agreeing to continue the relationship with you. So you should never sell unreal expectations if you know they won’t / can’t continue (etc lots of fancy dates / paying for everything). Otherwise it could build resentment with your partner in the future when you “suddenly” stop because you’ve won them over.
The moral of the story, not paying for her nails is not why she’s asking to break up with you. It’s a superficial and silly reason that was perhaps the final “tipping point”. But overall she’s trying to tell you that there’s deeper reasons (a huge emotional disconnect due to built resentment). But is unable to communicate this in a healthy way and is instead coming across as childish. You need to really think of you want to make this work and make an effort to understand each other on deeper levels, or if fighting to stay is too much effort. Good luck and make the choice based on what you feel inside 🙂
You seem to be looking for validation and not advice. Everyone here sees the destructive, toxic nature of your mother and your enabling family, and that includes you. Go read the top comment, it lays out perfectly what your problem is. Therapy and a whole lot of introspection/self-awareness are what you most need.
Why is this even a very hot take. My reprieve from my crippling depression is My Little Pony. Shits so colorful you cant cry at how sad the world is while a pink horse rants at 1.5x speed about how much she loves her friends. I'm 21
Therapist. Your dad's passing left you with awful trauma that you are seeing now in this case, and it si better for you to work on that.
Not only for your bf sake, but for you: all those emotions that you have trapped and consuming you, these have to be resolved.