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They won’t give out guest information to anyone but the guest themselves. Neither on the phone or in person.
you have come to a cross roads. you either wait for him to bring it up to you, you bring it up, or you just stay not knowing and being confused.
he went out with a bunch of his friends (I should include we're long distance) and I asked him where they were going and he said they were still deciding and that was the last thing he told me.
He told you he was going out.
Get those shoes on and start running.
This is the plot of a million books and if you've read any of them, trust me, you don't want the truth to come out while everyone is standing over the bleeding body of one of the cousins while the serial killer has his gun trained on your affair baby.
I mean, obviously not that dramatic, but. Deal with this now. If this is a dealbreaker for Sara, it's a dealbreaker for Sara. Better to find it out now and not later. Your world of hurt will be infinitely more painful if she leaves you 5 years from now.
Wow, your husband is something else. That woman is a tr@mp…homewre*ker. I seriously hope he can see how wrong this is. And the fact that she gave him a hug was to just piss you off. She is di@bolic@l.
My brother in science, she can't differentiate between reality and television. This is a “her” problem. She needs to mature. Don't internalize this.
Unless there's something you're not telling us about your behavior, I think you need to weigh how you're going to feel after a while.
I'm a big human, I know that. My girlfriend freaked out when I got angry, because suddenly instead of a gentle giant I was a scary monster. It's not fair, because I should be able to express my anger.
My brother in science, she can't differentiate between reality and television. This is a “her” problem. She needs to mature. Don't internalize this.
Unless there's something you're not telling us about your behavior, I think you need to weigh how you're going to feel after a while.
I'm a big human, I know that. My girlfriend freaked out when I got angry, because suddenly instead of a gentle giant I was a scary monster. It's not fair, because I should be able to express my anger.
My brother in science, she can't differentiate between reality and television. This is a “her” problem. She needs to mature. Don't internalize this.
Unless there's something you're not telling us about your behavior, I think you need to weigh how you're going to feel after a while.
I'm a big human, I know that. My girlfriend freaked out when I got angry, because suddenly instead of a gentle giant I was a scary monster. It's not fair, because I should be able to express my anger.
The title. The first sentence. Then “both men have in common” ever since my coworker and I did the deed two days ago. And now I’m trying to hop back on the previous guy dick to be attached to him again. I just want advice of how do I be an adult in my situation.
The whole issue would be he made a decision which affected your immediate & long term future without discussing it with you. That does not bode well for a good marriage- what will the next major decision that he will make without your input? Everything else you mentioned could be worked out with a lot of compromising on both sides – but not with him making unilateral decisions. Sorry but I see this as a huge red flag to not marry at this time.
3 months and it's been great she is everything I want but I just think it's too good to be true
I have been considering those things, and have had questions for months now. I’ve almost broken it off a few times, but she throws herself down and tells me that she’ll do anything for me to stay.
It’s fucking naked
That logic of, “If she wants it then she would have done it”, works for me and you. But she has legitimate trauma that can’t be looked over
She walked into a coffee shop, not your living room. Get over yourself as it’s pretty apparent she has gotten over you. Match that energy or stay at home.
this happence once every 6-8 weeks according to your comment. how is he supposed to tell which night to say no if you take ambien every night? it sounds confusing from his perspective.
if my partner said, “don't have sex with me when I come onto you,” I might not remember that 2 months later in the moment when I'm being woken up.
People will white lie to soften the blow. We are guilty of using other excuses to ease the pain of what our answers are.
Ultimately, he left things as cordial.
“Making sure they get to appointments on time!”
Sure, for the one appointment they have every two months….
Hi! I was in the same situation but I’m not the American part that was my ex.
To make things short I took him back and regret it because he continued to cheat on me left every 4 months just to come back for the visa. He also is/was a very toxic dad and spouse. Then we moved to America and he just let me and our child drop like naked potatoes.
I finally got rid of him and that was the best decision I ever made.
He has 0% interest in his own flesh and blood and even wanted to let his legal rights drop. I’m now a single mother who doesn’t even get child support and you know what? I don’t care at all I rather doesn’t hVe him in our life and push harder to be fiancally in a good spot but it’s soooo worth it
My son is now 7 years old and has no resentment towards me. He said his dad never cared about him either only about “those other women”
I would let her go. Just because she’s her biological Mother doesn’t mean she’s a good Mother. Some women just don’t care about their kids and that’s how they showed it.
Yeah, you committed during the limerence period but limerence, or the honeymoon phase, it doesn't last forever.
I've never had to break up with someone (lucky me, always the dumped!) but I've been on the receiving end of someone breaking promises to stay by my side no matter what.
Hurts. But what really pissed me off was that upon immediate reflection, they had known what you know for a while and not said word one about it. They had, however, pulled away, been passive-aggressive, just been wasting my time and really making me feel uncomfortable. but when I asked it was “no no, everything's cool”. It's one thing to break someone's heart but it's another to play with their emotions beforehand like a cat with a mouse.
So rip off the bandaid.
So you are paying for the girl without receiving services?
I believe that as well. However, people are emotional and can surprise us. I prefer safer than sorry. I always keep “receipts” for my own safety but always being an optimist. That's my advice about. ?
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Was there anything that wasn't clear in that comment?
Leave him. Both you and the child doesn’t deserve it. It will only get worse.
Yes. He even encouraged it because my job was so far and i didnt have time to maintain the home.
Big boy voice is essential.
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My husband took nights so I could sleep ( his idea ). And I took over days while he was at work.
When I went back to work, he stilk took nights and we split days.
Sounds like you guys are not a good team.
Talk about it in front of his wife. It will be a real tell on their boundaries and relationship.
glances at ages
sighs heavily
Give her a break! She might not get done physics etc, but everyone has their skill. She might have not been too interested in the plot of your movie, since things often happen very fast and often are explained one dimensionally (geddit?) in movies. I often find it naked to follow stuff on films and have to have a minute to fill plot holes etc because of fast editing, crap sound whatever. The biggest problem you might face is you getting irritated with your gf thinking she is stupid. You need to think about this. If it really becomes an irritation and you do not see her own qualities, then move in, because this is the honeymoon period and stuff gets amplified along the years. Accept who she is, fined out her special strength or move on.
It's her step daughter. She's the stepmother to her step child. Wtf?
Focus on loving your daughter and making sure she isn’t mistreated by other family members. That’s what matters here.
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I mean, I am. Doesn’t take a genius to figure that out though.
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Obviously she needs some mental help and could benefit from some medication along with therapy. If she doesn’t get help and improve, leave her.
That was very mean of her to say but sometimes people with mental issues say messed up stuff.
If you love her, give her the chance to change. If she doesn’t—do not remain in an abusive relationship with a crazy person. It’s not worth it.
Me
Im a pretty big guy and fiancé told me that I’m to muscular and it became unattractive to her and said she’d prefer it if I lost some weight I said there’s no chance I’m gonna lose weight then we got married and have been super happy for the past several years i can definitely see it bothering you but if that is the biggest issue you guys have I wouldn’t leave him over it just try telling him how it effects you
And that’s fine. However, my actual point is that once it’s been established that the bf and the cat don’t vibe, then they should never have to interact again. Don’t blame the bf for not liking her cat, you blame the gf for constantly making her bf have to deal with her cat, WHEN SHE KNOWS THAT HE DOESNT LIKE IT ALREADY
OP , are you living together and this happened at your house ? Otherwise this seems an over reaction, but if you asked her to leave her own house it's completely out of order on your behalf
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Your dad needs a good lawyer and a therapist.
I'll text in inbox. The thread is getting too long
I think you need to talk to your doctor about your lack of libido . Do you watch porn & take care of yourself that way ? If so, stop doing that & see what happens .
Being real, your entire life will be easier if you get the abortion and become stable in your finances, housing, and relationship before you have a child. It’s not about age so much as where you are in your life.
Having said that, if she wants the baby, she’s going to have the baby. Time to step up, man. Have a serious, adult conversation with her about life goals and what you’ll both be able to accomplish with and without a child.
It’s ultimately her choice, but it’s your choice of whether you’ll be a family or not. She deserves honesty about what you’re willing and able to provide at this stage of your life.
You done fucked up.
I’m the child of one of these situations. We are called NPE (non paternity event). I found out via an ancestry dna test at 39. When I found out, my mother continued to lie about it. It took quite some time for me to get the whole story. I’m in a community of NPEs and the hurt and betrayal to everyone involved is immense.
You need to tell your son and your husband the truth.
We plan to get married this year as well as official adoption. As for birth mom im certain she wants nothing to do with the baby since we do have contact with birth mother as a friend. It was just an unfortunate situation where she never wanted children but wasnt able to get an abortion.
I am ??????. That’s what the rest of the family has been saying
You can't stop him, but you can encourage his partners to make the most of the situation. Use the increased stability to get an education or a life skill.
The way she did insinuates that you have violated her consent. So you did the right thing walk away. Because the next time she comes over with a friend it may be an accusation and not an insinuation.
You guys have only seen each other a dozen or so times, and he is pressuring you to entangle your finances? That is alarming.
You go to therapy to not be a toxic partner to your potential future bf. This relationship however is over. Your ex has probably had to deal with your jealousy way too often and that green monster is not a pleasant roommate. I read a few of your comments and you are not taking responsibility for what happened. He didn't cheat nor encourage anything with her and as far as we know, you may be exaggerating her interest with him as they seem to have been buddies but in any case, he was honest all the way. The problem is the relationship was you so work on yourself before being with anybody.
Not seeing you as the toxic one here. He was the one looking to step out.
Tbh i only know what those things are but have no idea xD I'd hope that u can delete single photos out of a dump but yeah probably not possible. Still in this case just delete the dump lol. Upload new stuff w your new boyfriend.
I would be upset if a close friend of mine knew I wasn’t on social media but decided to just let me find out about an important life event through the grapevine. It’s not that naked to make your social media post and send a follow up text to friends who you know won’t see it. It sounds like he overreacts a lot so you’re not really taking him seriously, but the least you could have done would be to not be dismissive when he told you he was upset. A simple, “oh sorry man, I forgot you weren’t on social media!” could have gone a long way.
Ok
Counseling. For what it’s worth, what if she had just dated wealthy men before you?
Yes, the provocateur is more at fault— the problem is that he didn’t provoke anything. If she has hang ups about her ability in sport, that sucks, but it’s irrelevant here— he never said anything pertaining to ability. He said “I’ve noticed women usually play keepy-up with their knees.” Sure, he knew she was in a bad mood. Is speaking at all to your partner when they’re in a bad mood now evil or immature?
If someone is in a bad mood and gets mad at an innocuous comment and insults the commenter, that’s called overreacting and lashing out. If they are provoked they’re not in the wrong, but the threshold for what is provocation isn’t just “whatever upsets me.” If you get upset over something meaningless and non-insulting, even if your angry brain made you predisposed to seeing it as insulting, you weren’t provoked into anything. You were just on edge and being an asshole to anyone who talked to you. And you owe them an apology.
What do you want to be the end result?
You have this idea that you could have a 'perfect' reletionship with your co-worker. Why have you not attempted to attain this perfect reletionship with your current GF. Is it because that the new one feels new and exciting?
What you're doing right now is wrong. You've allowed yourself to emotionally cheat on a commitment that you already made. You're not in the right mind to be in a reletionship with either of them.
You need to come clean and make a decision. End it with your current GF and deal with the consequences if the co-worker does not work out. Or end it with your co-worker and build upon your existing reletionship. Stop feeling sorry for yourself because you put your reletionship in a horrible position. Grow a back-bone and man up to your mistakes.
Seeing a pattern here?
Cheat on partner Get caught cheating Blame booze Get forgiven Go to the first bullet and start again
Get rid of her.
Because she thinks of him as a best friend and nothing more (as she's told him) so saw nothing sexual about him seeing her nudes.
It always seems like the people most in the wrong and don't want to do any real work to fix it are the people so quick to insist that the past be “left in the past.” Listen, you can apologize a million times and it still won't mean anything if you continue to behave in the same ways. You need to do the work and understand WHY your actions were wrong and come up with a plan to change. You can't just wipe it under the rug and pretend everything is fine just because you said the words “I'm sorry.” What you've done has obviously hurt him and he clearly still doesn't feel heard so stop yelling at him to let it go and forget it, healing doesn't work that way.
Also, telling him how he should feel about your past actions isn't helping and telling him to stop talking about it is the same as saying, “we're done talking about this,” and as someone who grew up hearing that phrase from an abusive parent, that is one of the MOST infuriating things a person can say. If your husband is not done talking about the past, then YOU are NOT done talking about it. Period. If you don't like that then just get divorced…
Side note: A good relationship shouldn't always be difficult and have problems, it seems like you two never should have stayed together anyway.
Agree 100%.
Boiling frog
It’s because they are new ex Mormons, is my guess. The husband realized he’s bi and feels like he missed out on getting to explore this side of himself, so he wants to do it now. There is a lot of pressure within the exmo world to not be the “bitch wife” who stops your husband from exploring the things he was denied in Mormonism. The husband has probably never said that to her directly, but there are ~10 posts a week about it on the exmo subreddit.
OP, I’m an exmo who realized I was bi. That doesn’t mean I need to explore it, after committing to a monogamous marriage. I also don’t get to make my spouse feel insecure in our relationship, with my actions. Recognizing and accepting being bi doesn’t mean you need a relationship with the gender you haven’t been with. If you are uncomfortable, you need to tell your husband and start having some serious conversations about the expectations you both have moving forward.
Best thing for you is to lay it out there for her, you can’t be in a worse place for doing so and she already knows, it’s just a matter of you both acknowledging it.
Best thing for her is for you to leave it alone. Sounds like she is in a relationship with someone that she cares a lot about and you will be introducing a complication to that.
You are all adults though, sometimes big feelings like this need to be worked out. She’ll be ok if you tell her and you’ll be ok if she says no.
You said you broke down on the plane, what did you tell her was going on?
Maybe. The first night I almost fucked her i was a bit drunk and she told me to just put it in (without condom) she later told me she's not on birth control. She tried getting me drunk numerous times since and fucking her but truth is I never came while fucking her. I wouldn't be surprised if she was poking holes in the condom but she kept asking if I came while fucking her but never did. In fact I have to take a sex pill to get naked most of the time. She said we'd have cute kids the first time we did it.
Fr tho! I get it, the age gap is shocking considering how young I am, but that doesn’t mean I’m being groomed or manipulated. I just wanted advice on how to make him happy and initiate more ? I guess people took it the wrong way
Maybe something that's a sweet way of reminding him how you meet? Like if you met at work, matching coffee cups that day sometime about your relationship? Just spit balling – I'm not very creative with gifts
Yeah, I do know they’re very hostile together bc she screams at him when I’m over. She also threatens to take all the children unless he pays for her all expenses in addition to child support upon move out.
Same here
It sounds like he's dealing with a lot and may just not have the energy for a relationship right now. He should have the decency to tell you that though.
I'd suggest having a serious talk with him about whether or not he wants to continue the relationship because you don't feel like he does.
Admit that you're not over each other already
There hasn't been a legitimate one according to you so you should want another one. You should want to push one.
To be clear – the fact that you're not trying to push for a legitimate one is actually very suspicious. You should get him to do his own test with a lab he directly submits samples to without you or his family involved.
If she cheats, she belongs to the streets
Maybe you're a good match, but you want different things in life.
Hate to break the news but it sounds like this aint gonna work on the long run.
Stunt meaning reach out to his ex. You don’t need to do that to yourself.
You're right, you don't deserve a cheater and can do better. Don't get back with her. She uses a rough patch as an excuse to cheat and then hides it for three years. Does this sound like someone you deserve?
so from this information, and granted, i don't know it all … the title seems inaccurate. she doesn't want to marry her boyfriend if she's getting sweaty hands and a runaway pulse thinking about the idea.
can she find any other housing ? that seems to be the key here. as for losing his family, i don't know if much can be done about that. but signing her life away in order for his family to stay in hers seems like a terrible sacrifice.
I know it’s like “oh so being offended by the offensive thing you said is ALSO my fault. Cool, thanks. Anything else?”
Yeah, if your fam is cool, you’re secondarily screwed lol! Def text your mom back something cheeky.
‘They’ is a grammatically correct and socially accepted term for a singular person when you don’t know their (oop, did it again!) gender, and has been for a long time. Get over it ?
He’s still a teenager and even though four years isn’t usually that much of an age difference, it is when he’s young and you are more experienced. And if he is heavier and shorter than other guys his age, of course he is insecure. As for sex, explain you are acting in porn and that is not how real sex looks or sounds. So many men think porn is real and have an messed up perception because of it. Let him know what sex with love is like and how much better it is. Also let him know that sisters are always jerks to their brothers and don’t listen to anything she says. As other posters suggest, be aware what words you use and just keep telling him you love only him and you are the lucky one.
You're still young, it's okay to grow apart. It's better to do it sooner rather than later, but it's a bit of a process. Are you living together?
There's no way I cam answer this where someone won't attack me. ?
By your logic, it’s always controlling to break up with someone. Everyone is allowed to set boundaries about the circumstances under which they’ll stay in a relationship.
Tell everyone to sit on both sides. As for groomsmen, those aren't really necessary, but they can stand behind her, too, if she's okay with that.
I found I still had the “Hinge” app on my phone last week. I’ve been happily in a relationship for 2 years and am currently shopping for rings.
Rushing into a very serious decision because you “always thought” it would happen that way is a terrible, terrible idea. There is a lot more to marriage than just signing the papers to fulfil a dream you had when you were 13 or something. I think its important to be with someone who shares the same goals and values as you (along with other things, obviously), and it sounds like thats what you have. Do you want to leave and marry someone just because they're willing to do it within the next 6 months? Do you want to marry someone who's not right for you because it fits your timeline? Sounds like a recipe for resentment and divorce, and I imagine thats not what you're looking for.
He's too old to be unwilling to do the emotional work of figuring out what he wants and clearly and honestly communicating that to you. Don't be with someone who makes you guess and assume, because you're likely to apply rose colored glasses and come to the conclusion you want, when they refuse to communicate their intentions. That game is for high school and barely-twenties. Not grown ass men.
His ego is a bit of a red flag.
It’s okay. We’ve all been embarrassed by stuff like this too. If she gets back to you, cool. If she doesn’t get back to you, cool.
It’s okay. We’ve all been embarrassed by stuff like this too. If she gets back to you, cool. If she doesn’t get back to you, cool.
I know my girlfriends passwords and she knows mine. I don't hide anything so i don't care. It makes both of us feel more comfortable so i don't see a reason to have each others password
If she wanted financial stability for the future, she'd get a job. Does she have one or is she planning on it? If not, then her “confiding” with you is her laying the foundation to take from you.
Why doesn't she pursue baby daddy for support? Help her get s lawyer for that. Best investment you can make for both of you at this point.
Who do you think is fucking her with that toy? A faceless man or the guy who hooked up with? It's a nah from me.
You don’t need a therapist. I think this is more common than not. Morning kisses have been romanticized by tv and movies IMO. I too have the nose of a pregnant lady-my super sniffer never went away after my youngest was born 5 years ago-or maybe it’s bc I quit smoking cigarettes-but either way, I want nothing to do with any of that nonsense. It’s smelly and it feels gross. Brush your teeth first, or try keeping mouthwash by the bed (idk how well it would really work but might be worth a shot if he really wants to continue) or even those Listerine strips to take some of the ick factor away.
then youre insane
Every guy who’s ever wanted to buy a house together but didn’t want to get married eventually kicked her out.
I’ve known three women this happened to. Go take a look at the Waiting to Wed sub. It’s 10+ yr relationships and kids and houses together and man Babies who still won’t commit.
The guilt is something you should get some help with. This is so common with friends and family of people who commit suicide Unfortunately, there is no way to make them give it to you
Get some therapy if you can it will help
When someone wants to end their.lives no one can prevent it. Even though we all wish and think there was something we could have done
It is devastating
Let that be a lesson. You do not, now or ever, know more about someone’s family than they do. There can be long, complex issues that go back years, and no one is obligated to tell you. You have to take people at their word when someone says they’re not close to family because there is always a reason. It’s not for you to fix.
How are you two handling your financial situation? Is it joint? Separate? Expenses paid by ratio of income?
This isn't a boundary, this isn't about trust. She deserved the opportunity to choose whether or not this is what she signed up for. You don't FORCE someone to be a part of YOUR family issues because you won't communicate them clearly.
If he doesn't wanna talk about them, or see them, then a simple “These are not my family members and I won't see them” etc. Settles that. Not being avoidant. It's inevitable.
She wouldn't know what's what because he did not tell her. This is why y'all are the ones that are entitled. Whatever landmines you have in your life need to be open for everyone to see. So they can opt out. You don't pull people in because you can't confront something on your own.
Cancel her gym membership, block her and if she ever messages you again, talk to a lawyer.
Aww. Hugs dude. Then I applaud your efforts in making sure that “someone” never comes around yours again. Rooting for you.
You sound like someone with jealousy issues
If he'll lie about that, what else will he lie about?
Don't date liars.
You 100% overreacted and this was really mean and controlling of you.
Unfortunately once the trust is killed, you never really regain it.
On one hand, he really could just be out having a good time, with a dead phone.
On the other, he could be hooking up with the girl he kissed.
Naked to really know what's actually going on but my advice (a married man) is go your seperate ways. Once a cheater always a cheater. You deserve better.
You know what needs to be done, just be smart and don’t hurt your case. Looking forward to your success brother. Updateme!
You have to change the way you look at things and the things you look at change. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Give yourself some slack you have a lot on your plate and is causing you distress. The thing about alcohol it’s a depressant I know your busy numbing your negative feelings but the same time your doing that your also numbing your positive ones, which can cause us to lash out…
You sound very caring. We can get lost in our loved ones and forget about ourselves we are so busy making everyone else happy that we forget about our own happiness. We put our dreams on hold to help other peoples dream come true. It’s time to focus on you…
You are on a journey of healing and healing isn’t always linear far from it. Remember it’s a process and not an event and everybody’s journey is different. Refocus your time and energy and start investing in yourself. It will be the best investment you ever make!
That does make sense, it is very hot to do for like more than a few weeks at a time but im definitely willing to try
That’s not true at all. There are tons of cases of men being put in jail with 0 evidence against them. Years later the woman will come out and say it never happened and she faces no repercussions.
You don't have to go with what is customary or traditional. Why don't you propose to him?
Plan for a wedding and don't worry about it being spring. Summer and Fall are great too. Figure out what your priorities are and make it happen. If you wait for him to do the proposing and planning it may never happen.
FWIW I attended a friend's wedding and they never sent in the paperwork to be registered. When they split there was no need to divorce. No paperwork was ever filed.
How much damage would that do to her kids?
Realistically, probably not much. Her kid already has a father that is involved in his life, so the child doesn't necessarily need to have a third full-time parent.
Honestly, I've read lots of posts on Reddit about stepparents that tried to be too involved in their step child's life and ended up ruining the relationship. I don't know if I've read any cases of a stepfather that took a major back seat in parenting and that caused issues with the kid.
All that said, I don't blame the mom, if that's not what she wanted in a relationship but I don't believe that OP having a weekend to himself would ever be detrimental for the kid.
She needs to address this in her therapy ASAP, and you should never, ever, ever do what she asked you to do. She’s still struggling to come to terms with what happened to her.
For now just show your love for her, care for her, and make sure she continues to get therapy.
I just didn’t want to spend a lot of time there, especially at night. I read that “the crime rate is exceptionally high” and she’s not accustomed to dangerous places. She pushes past strangers etc. and it has caused people to be aggressive with her before.
You could just tell him. It's an awkward conversation, but those are the kind you need with a sexual partner.
Doubt he is wealthy enough to pay it off right away if he has to take them out in the first place. With this kind of stupidity it might take losing everything for him to wise up. I’d reconsider if you want that liability on your hands.
That just seems stupid. If they don’t get the new job then they probably have no job now.
Get a new job then? It sounds like you're resentful she's got a degree and managed to snag an awesome job while you're still slaving away making chump change. You can change your job to something less awful bc all I see in this post is you being jealous
The real questi
I was actually going to suggest the opposite. I was going to suggest a trial separation to give each other some distance and decide what either of you want out of this relationship or even if you still want to be in it. Some time reflecting might do some good. I know long distance can be very stressful and I do wish you both the best.
You are right. I have tunnel vision. Clearly. Thank you.
That is incredibly unproductive. It's reasonable to want your husband there to support you through your labour. It's reasonable to want you dad at your wedding. It's reasonable to be upset if either of those things don't happen. It was just bad luck, getting angry at them for getting angry is only going to escalate and already very unfortunate situation.
Why do you treat yourself so badly? Who taught you that you should put her on a pedestal and worry about her reputation first ? This is really backward logic. Maybe you need to get some counseling to understand why you think so low of yourself.
Leave. I’ve dated this and it doesn’t get better
There're a bunch of issues at hand.
A big question here is: do you feel that he is just leeching off of you and freeloading off your naked earned money?
Paying for your boyfriend's father's housing is crazy if you're not even married. You're doing A LOT. What does he do in return? Does he take care of the household chores? Does he have amazing emotional intelligence and communication skills? Not likely when he literally plugs his ears during an argument.
It's also little weird that you felt the need to emphasize in your post that you work hot and are not spoiled, when that's not really relevant. You make good money, and thus pay the majority of bills, no room for criticism there. Has your bf tried to guilt you for having a “silver spoon”? Seems like there may be some resentment tied to differences in economic status and upbringing. On both your parts.
I will say that your attitude in general does seem rather strict and negative. Eating at a restaurant you don't like for your partner isn't a big sacrifice, but you're making it out to be a huge imposition on your part. It's really not. And if you specifically didn't want to pay for the meal, it's not a huge deal to say, “we can go but I just had to pay a big vet bill, are you okay with paying?” But his hissy fit after being asked to pay is also super childish and manipulative.
Just seems like a disaster all around. Resentment, poor communication and conflict resolution, plus the very real possibility of him using you for your money. You can go ahead and apologize if you like, but you both have to have serious conversation about fixing these issues.
You need better dreams than being with an emotionally abusive jerk still hung up on his ex using you as his second choice.
Red Flags to me. If he is talking about getting back with his ex why want to be second fiddle? Not worth the worry or headache.
There are other people out there who won’t treat you like second fiddle. I’d move on and not get involved with him a second longer.
What are your thoughts?
Why are you still with her? Time to move on, she's not the one.
I've done exactly as you said, I have ghosted her a few times and she gets very sad and upset that I never texted her or am ignoring her, She's also said she has feelings for me but isn't ready to commit to a full relationship… Idk if she keeps me around for attention because she told me somebody at her work asked her out she said no and was annoyed by it so I really don't know if she really isn't ready or wants to wait because she also jus said the other day she can't wait to meet me I have personal stuff with me and I told her that I want to be 100% better and she said she understands and will wait for me…
Mainly video games. He's very much an introvert and a homebody 🙂
He really shouldn't be continuing it at all. That just feeds the problem.
I find it very difficult to go to the toilet in my own home with other people on let alone somewhere else. What they did to you is my worst nightmare. He’s not a bf he’s a bully. Please dump him OP you deserve much much better.
Please don't let this idiot make you feel insecure. You look great and tons of people prefer smaller boobs. Im lesbian and I can attest that giant racks are not that practical on a partner. I personally dont have some but i know my exes would complain. My current partners are very medium sized and waaaaay better and more fun than the double G's Ive dealt with. It's also fucking weird as shit he's showing pics of your sister. Please get out of there.
Girl you look fantastic! Is that a swimsuit? If so, where from? ?
Hey I know breakups are complicated but I just wanted to remind you that goodbye sex is a bad idea because:
If she had a threesome with a couple that was willing to supply MDMA to/have sex with a stranger, the chances of her contracting an STI are pretty elevated. That is “risk behavior” sir. Don’t let it rub off on you… literally:)
This is called theft op. You would be within your rights to call the police. Do not stay with her.
I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted for expressing your sentiment.. the internet is crazy. People obviously want the best for you, but this guy sounds like he’s on another level. You sound very vulnerable, and as someone who also struggles with c-ptsd, I can understand how you feel & your tendency to take on this blame for yourself. But the truth is he is being unreasonable & it’s a very bad sign because he’s being super manipulative & obviously taking advantage of your nature. I think you need to set some boundaries & stand up for yourself. He has had enough time to process it & it’s your dog. There’s nothing to be done now. So, if he can’t get over it he needs to go. And you need to be aware of this & on the look out in other areas. If he will manipulate you & make you feel like the bad guy for something so innocuous, where else will he do that? It’s up to you to continue the relationship or not, but you deserve and can get better. You can draw some strong boundaries & see how he responds, but don’t invest too much of yourself into his “improved” behavior until it’s been put to the test. Don’t let yourself. You’re okey alone & better off without this kind of emotional drain. You’re better off just focusing on yourself until something actually better comes along & if he can’t get with it then drop him. I wouldn’t invest too much. Know your limits & what makes you feel good & what doesn’t. If he’s not making you feel good & you can’t work through problems or trust him to be sincere, then he needs to work on himself apart from you. And you can’t count on him to change.
Your girlfriend is emotionally abusive.
Oh shut up. You can preach all the “it’s in the past” crap you want. Actions have consequences and one of those is that future men in your life will look at you different. Don’t believe me tell any prospective partner “ hey a few years back I got gangbanged and we filmed it to enjoy later” promise you’ll be single soon after
He will magically be reachable for the right woman. Who, sorry to say, isn't you. What should you do? Take time away and lose the erotomania.
You asked public Facebook groups for info about your fiance? I'm not surprised that he responded the way he did. Shouldn't you have an idea about whether this guy is a danger not already.
Simple answer no. If your relationship revolves around satisfying him everyday in any capacity it’s unhealthy. You’re setting yourself up for his excuse when he cheats it’s because you missed a day. You and your jaw deserve better. Do you want to be with someone who’s so emotionally unstable and shallow that they need a bj everyday to avoid depression? That’s weird and toxic af.
No worries, I wish you good luck. Just always remember that the ball is in your court and if you do anything like threesomes, it needs to be done on your terms. Keep communication open and be honest about everything.
Some points are ok, some are not. You are not his mum, and that is what he wants. If he is able to make agreements and be coherent, he isn’t too bad, IMO. You should be supportive, but on the other hand, you on-line separate lives. Why would you cook for him, unless it is a pleasure for you? He can pick up the phone and order take outs. I would centre on getting practical help for him- is there a charitable association for adhd for instance or a support group?
Bangmaid ? ever heard that before
I HAVE ALREADY. I HAVE ONE PIC AND ITS BOTH OS US.
Yes! Exactly. I find it so weird that many couples now track each other's movements all the time and see nothing wrong with it.
You want monogamy? Leave her for someone who wants that.
Since she is cooking/ baking (don't know which) it certainly won't be Lean Cuisine.
This is not ok, simples.
He keeps pushing, you ditch him! Sounds like he loves his desires more than he loves you and your boundaries
Why you are you more worried about your husband and his buddy’s opinion? His actions are abusive.
You put this dude on a pedestal that he had no right being on. He isnt/wasn't interested in you for a relationship. You said yourself that if you didn't text him, you guys wouldn't talk. That is a key point in him not being interested. Let it go
Why would you want to be with someone you have to always chase just to give you a time of day.
GIANT RED FLAG.
It speaks to a level of entitlement. Like she's above doing for herself and the people around her (you, her dad, etc) are there to make her life easier. Not a strong basis for partnership.
It's one thing to do something for your partner out of love/kindness/respect…the joy of doing things for them quickly goes away when it becomes an expectation and not an act of generosity.
Not sure if this is a character issue that can be fixed. My advice is to just refuse to do stuff for her for a few months and instead ask her to do a bunch of tasks for you and see if she “gets it”. If not, I'd cut my losses if I were you.
Good luck!
How did I deal with it? After 5.5 years I dumped her. Met my amazing wife very shortly after.
Ghost him. He doesn't even know how to spell your name. Go find someone worthy.
You don’t have a bathroom?
Yeah its sounding like the best friend may want her, but has not indicated that to her, and keeps running people off. Toxic as hell, and I would argue that long term it may not be safe for the lady.
I will never understand why people keep toxic friends around, even more so when they realize it.
Just tell him that it’s been nice getting to know him and you’d like to remain friends but that it doesn’t feel like the right fit romantically.
Some people are good at maintaining friendships with exes, some aren’t and need to burn the bridges and block and delete and all that.
This isn’t about labels. It’s that you don’t even want to date him. So don’t.
I feel like people are being weird about this. He was obviously trying to say that he wasn't watching porn that would make his partner think he was gay. He's just explaining that there's no clear reason based on the porn that she would be reacting like this.
Sir, “everything” is not tidying the kitchen, changing the bed, machine washing laundry and cleaning the shitter.
Exactly. Her next highest texting month was around 800. For an entire month. She averages half of that IN A DAY
Yeah. I’m just not seeing the lie here unless they didn’t meet at work. She’s not real clear on this.
You should not be dating someone with kids. You are the poster child for the evil stepmother.
If there's no HR, discuss it with the boss. This was WILDLY, ridiculously unprofessional not to mention horribly cruel. I don't know what the fuck the punchline of this “prank” was supposed to be, and neither does this asshole. So if you boss drags the two of you into some sort of mediation and he keeps trying to say “it was just a joke” keep demanding he tell you what the funny part was.
You want to change the rules instead of changing yourself.
Sounds like your boyfriend is a misogynist. Does he think that your only value as a person is sexual? That your thoughts and interests aren't valuable and worth knowing? That your friendship isn't something people cherish and care to have?
Is the only reason he's with you because you have sex with him? Does he not value your other traits and personality?
How you gonna go from friends at the very most on the technicality scale to marriage? Baby you skipping a whole step
Ah, well if you didn’t storm out, good. If you were being disrespected. You did the right thing.