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Goddamn. Good on the mom.
Does it being in the background might ever feel like the love is going away? Or it'll be an accepted fact that this isn't going to go away?
This. I wish I had read this back when I was dating my ex
This. I wish I had read this back when I was dating my ex
You have endured a great deal – and none of it of your choosing . Do not seek validation and self esteem from your husband – the deficiencies are all his not yours . Move forward and regain your life not one based on mistrust untruths and one sided choices where it’s you that is always asked to compromise .
Family stuff is very hot for everyone. The most important thing is you moved with a spirit of doing what you believed to be best for your son.
Both of my parents abused me quite a bit. They were both from broken homes, that were broken in different ways, and they were from a generation where you were taught to accept that.
They both brought their misunderstanding I to our family, and I endured a lot more than you should need to.
But, I knew that they loved me, I was physically, emotionally and psychologically abused, but, I know that when they did these things to me, they legitimately believed they were doing these things in my best interest. I came out strange and broken, but, unlike my parents, I recognized that I was wrong somehow, and, I have spent over a decade putting myself together into a presentable shape. I blame my parents for a lot of the damage in my heart.
But I know their stories, and I know why they did what they did. And I can't hate them for being confused, scared and broken. They regret what's become of our relationship, because they never foresaw that I would sooner break the cycle than continue it.
I'm going to patch things up with them during Christmas, and I'll spend the rest of my life fixing things between us, because there is a lot of pain between us, but they love me, and I love them. And that bond is a difficult one to break as long as everyone is doing their best.
Since you make more money I would think they would go with what you want (the leasing office) over anything. But again, every state is different. I would say worst case just wait the five months and when the lease renews have her taken off and leave since you make more money
I think yeah I’ll have to bite the bullet and just ask.
OP paternity tests are pretty dangerous before the baby is born, they can cause a lot of issues including miscarriage so you really are better off waiting to have the test done! It’s much easier and risk free to test on a baby rather than a fetus!
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This has nothing to do with mental illness. He just sounds lazy and dismissive. We all have to work, he is not alone in that one.
If you are not in a full blow depressive episode or actually suffering from burnout, there is no reason not to wash some fucking dishes. How petty is that from him.
it makes no sense. it only makes a semblance of sense if you take him at his word with his “man = only captain of the family”/ “responsibility as a woman to do all the child care and be stressed about a newborn in NICU” – that he is a sad, scary, bitter, broken misogynist who just generally hates or has zero care or respect for all women (apart from his ma).
Him being a nasty pasty, and being a cruel partner is not becuase of you. He has been telling you repeatedly plain as day he simply doesn't like or care or respect women partners in general. He is the flat tyre in this relationship, not you!
Kinda thank god he weasly cancelled your marriage. A future married to this guy with world views of you like he has, would be sad, lonely, small and dark.
Life has given you a chance to write a brand new page in your life story with your beautiful new baby. He can be a foot note and a bit-part co-parent. But your world has just opened up to new opportunities, new freedom, and new love by him stepping aside. Even if that new love is just real respect and love of yourself for a while. Because you really do deserve it! Growing, Birthing, and caring for a premmie babie, ALL BY YOURSELF for the last year and a bit is insanely very hot and impressive and respectable and valuable. YOU did that. YOU did that. Alone you did that. You are incredible op. You didn't need this dud guy keeping you down for his own insecurities and misery.
Being emotional – in emotional times – is actually a superpower. Likely you being in touch with yourself and your emotions is one of the tools that have kept you in reality and kept you going this past year. It has been a crazy very hot year, of course you have been super emotional – any real human would be. Please be so soft and gentle withyourself, you have done amazingly. And you will continue to do amazingly.
Sleeping in a hospital cot or chair, sitting in it all day, and being unable to do anything for any kind of mental relief or amusement takes its toll. The “Loved one is there every moment of the hospital stay” thing is a Hollywood stereotype, not reality. You asked too much. He's stressed out by this too, and he needs a real bed at home, not a hospital cot or chair. He's your fiancé, not your personal comfort device. If you want constant companionship, you need a dog.
True, although it’s to see my family and friends and I’ve told him his support in coming means a lot to me.
She has rules but you can’t? And she will have more rules you have to follow if you move in with her. Since you don’t want to on-line together anyway, tell her you can’t follow her rules and that’s final. It doesn’t sound like this relationship is worth keeping, much less taking the next step. Free yourself from this control freak. You are too young to deal with this.
Adults don’t generally run away if they have a safe and normal partner – they just break up.
You must be controlling or abusive for her to be afraid of you.
Let her go, and do some serious work on yourself before you enter a new relationship.
You should stay away from her, however you don't need to hold it against her. Her decision isn't exactly wrong, but you don't need to indulge her. Staying as “friends” would be hurtful to your feelings and made it harder for you to move on. Which is why you should avoid contact with her in any form, but in the same it's best if you find enough empathy in you to understand her position and feelings. Resenting her will do more damage to you then her.
1) Find another place to on-line, even if it's with someone you don't know.
2) Get over yourself a bit
3) Use paragraphs
From your comments about him saying but HE isn't seeing other people or wants to, I'm wondering is he with you because he really wants to be with you or because you're the only one who has started or been willing to start seeing him.
I also don't think you're toxic for stating your wants. You don't need his permission to have your feelings or act how you wish, just as he is entitled to his feelings and act how he wishes.
I don't like how he jumped to toxic. Has he escalated in other ways?
Is it possible that your wife isn’t actually asexual and is just saying that because she thinks it would be less hurtful than telling you she’s lost interest in you but wants to stay together for the kids and the house (if you have one)? Because ten years seems rather a long time to have been faking it.
Put your head out of your ass and stop making this about your pathetic wants and desires.
All this “me, me, me”. Cut it.
You keep screwing up because it's obvious you've not changed.
Still thinking of yourself only.
Can you try, spending the weeked nights together?
I understand the need to have good long sleept before work.
Long distance relationships are very hot, but not as very hot as giving up your dream job. You will end up resenting him if you stay there. Still move and leave him to his PhD program.
Pretty sure he didn’t do what you did then. Maybe ask him? Guessing she showed CLEAR signs and they built trust and intimacy through working together that led to it. You didn’t even try to get closer to her, you just thought you could ask for it and get it. What do you have to offer her? Did you think you needed there to be value to her? It doesn’t seem like it. Light flirting (if it happened) doesn’t mean she wants to be your sex toy.
It’s a bummer to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. It's understandable that you're feeling confused and in shock right now. While it's impossible for me to know for certain what your ex-fiancé's reasons were, based on what you've shared, it's possible that she simply had a change of heart and realized that she wasn't ready to get married.
It's important to keep in mind that people's feelings and priorities can change over time, especially when it comes to big decisions like marriage. Even if she was happy during the wedding planning process, it's possible that as the date drew closer, she began to feel more anxious and uncertain about going through with it.
It's also possible that the car accident played a role in her decision. It's possible that the shock and trauma of the accident made her realize that she wasn't ready to make such a big commitment, or that she wanted to focus on other things in her life for the time being.
Ultimately, only your ex-fiancé knows why she made the decision to end things. While it's natural to want answers and closure, it's important to respect her decision and give yourself time to process your own feelings. It may be helpful to talk to a therapist or a trusted friend or family member about what you're going through.
It’s a bummer to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. It's understandable that you're feeling confused and in shock right now. While it's impossible for me to know for certain what your ex-fiancé's reasons were, based on what you've shared, it's possible that she simply had a change of heart and realized that she wasn't ready to get married.
It's important to keep in mind that people's feelings and priorities can change over time, especially when it comes to big decisions like marriage. Even if she was happy during the wedding planning process, it's possible that as the date drew closer, she began to feel more anxious and uncertain about going through with it.
It's also possible that the car accident played a role in her decision. It's possible that the shock and trauma of the accident made her realize that she wasn't ready to make such a big commitment, or that she wanted to focus on other things in her life for the time being.
Ultimately, only your ex-fiancé knows why she made the decision to end things. While it's natural to want answers and closure, it's important to respect her decision and give yourself time to process your own feelings. It may be helpful to talk to a therapist or a trusted friend or family member about what you're going through.
He’s negging you. Dump him for a younger guy with a full head of hair a flat stomach and who treats you the way you deserve.
Yeah I don’t know.
As far as her mom goes, that woman was extremely toxic. As in, pressuring my dad not to have a relationship with me when they got together because, as she told my mom “he doesn’t have space in his life for her”, suing my dad for more support even when he was paying more than 100% what was ordered. So while I do understand that there are always more than one side to a story, disparaging my dad isnt something I put past that woman.
I’m just upset because I really didn’t do anything, we didn’t have a falling out. The last time I contacted her before this ig message was like 2 years ago when my dad got cancer and years prior to that because I figured she wanted space.