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Dude, there's nearly 8 billion people in the world and you're investing way too much time into one person who doesn't care about you that much.
I'd mute her on social media – I feel like you would benefit from an “out of sight, out of mind” method of dealing with her. I'd also archive her messages so they're not popping up on your phone.
If she wants to reach out to you/hang out with you, she would have done so already. So let this acquaintance relationship slowly die out. It'll bring your more peace in the long run
Yeah that's kind of how intrusive thoughts work. They're haunting. That doesn't mean I can't recognise that they're not correct.
I don't think it's remotely realistic to expect your partner to just shut down their senses completely because they're with you.
This is something that you should have mentioned on the first date because good luck finding someone who shares that belief and is also not lying to you.
What do you do to these thoughts? You manage them. You go to therapy or take medication but I truly believe this has nothing to do with OCD and more to do with your self-esteem.