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Languages: es,en
Birth Date: 1982-06-07
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityLatino
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureHousewives
Be crystal clear with your intentions!
Oh Honey, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please know you're not alone.
It sounds like your marriage, and whole relationship, has been one-sided with you doing all the work and him just basking in his own glory. Now, when I say “work”, I'm not just talking about housework; I'm talking about always putting him first before yourself, worrying more about his mental health and stability more than you worry about your own, and seeming to have the belief deep-down inside that you are supposed to be subservient to him. None of these things happen in healthy, happy marriages – unless you are living in the 1950s.
I also have to question his motivation for even marrying you in the first place. You said “We were going to wait longer but we had to get married to get him a visa to on-line with me while I attended my dream school”. That right there was his reason to marry you. And then when he said he wanted a divorce, he realized that he would lose his visa if he did not stay married to you for 2 years. So he cried, said he was sorry, begged you to take him back, and now he'll wait the extra year before again announcing he wants a divorce.
Please, get into therapy for yourself. He's a big boy, he can find his own therapist without your help. It sounds like you are being used, and you deserve so much more than that. Also, see a lawyer and see what your options are in terms of ending the marriage. If you can prove that him marrying you was just for the visa, then that's fraud and you might be able to get an annulment instead of a divorce. But only a lawyer can tell you whether or not that's possible.
I know you're hurting right now, but I promise you – it will not always hurt this much. You will heal, but it will take time. As for the trust? I could never trust someone who deliberately hurt me that deeply ever again.