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He took this part out of the post. Oooof
I mean, if you're open to hooking up with other people you could consent to her “sneakily” fucking someone else. That's not for everyone though
I'm sorry you're in this, but his other kid is not to blame for any of this. And I imagine if you took a step back and thought about it, you don't blame her for wanting a relationship and some of the things she missed out on with her dad.
Your dad's deception is the problem here. Unfortunately, he made another mess and there's no way to clean it up without someone getting hurt, namely your mom. Might as well rip the band-aid off.
Did you apologize for flaking on her in the first place? Because you sound like a defensive, unsympathetic guy who doesn’t care that he slept through plans with his GF and isn’t interested in putting in any effort to make it up to her.