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I don't think there is a right and wrong here. Dirext communication like I-statements are usually recommended but there really isn't any proof that it's how happy couples communicate.
Both of your communication styles are common and useful. Several answers is about how her style is more female because it's indirect and passive but that's not really true, an indirect or passive question is something else.
The problem is that if she acts like this often you will be guarded and suspicious whenever she ask you questions. You will suspect there is an ulterior motive and because you won't be able to distinguish curious question to get to know you from questions that might lead up to a demand. In that way it will erode trust and intimacy.
If she just does it occasionally when she worries that something is a particularly sensitive subject it's a really good way of showing concern for you.
“I feel like I've moved on from them, but on the other hand, I'm curious as to what she has to say after so many years. However, that in itself could bring back bad emotions.”
SHE had to write it. In order to end things.
YOU are free to burn it now.
It totally doesn't matter what someone has to say who betrayed your trust, your friendship and cheated on you with the man you had been with back then.
With regards to your momzilla … everything stating someone “demanding” others act according to their will automatically starts my “no way in hell”.
Good you didn't cave.
Sorry you were facing such a manipulative abusive person. And even more sorry, that she was able to take your family hostage and prevent you from having normal contact with them for 15 years and longer.
Feel hugged.
You think your wife is having an affair,
she is polygamous and gives the other man more value, love, sex than you.
She has been sharing every detail about your marriage and you with the man for years, bringing her ideas for future plans and buying/selling business to your home.
It is only for dreamers to think about the possibility of a return from this.