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Max, 22 y.o.
Location: Poland
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A little chilly. But the tacos are bangin
Ooof man I'm so sorry. I have endometriosis and thankfully I have a loving and understanding partner who always helps and asks what I need on my bad period days (all of them lol). He is understanding and sweet about it. That being said- your partner sounds like he is SEVERELY lacking in empathy and doesn't respect you for saying that to you. If it were me, because I'm petty? I'd buy a tens unit off Amazon and hook that mfer up to it to show him how bad my cramps can get. Then at the worst setting, tell him would you like to go to work and pretend it's not happening, since you believe I'm not in this much pain?
In all seriousness though, you deserve so much better babe. You need someone who loves and supports you through sickness and health and bad period pain. I'm so sorry. I would think about the future of your relationship.
Ultimatums generally dont go over well especially if you dont back them up. You have backed both of you into a corner. If he does not make an appointment are you prepared for him to leave? What if he called and no one got back with him today?
You dont say how the conversation went. Was it calm on your end? Did he storm out. It is never good to rise to his level of emotion. For now, calmly tell him that the 2 of you need to talk. Ask why he feels he needs to lash out at you when things dont go his way. Ask what he needs to do to fix this anger issue. Assure him you want to help but also note it is not sustainable in your marriage that he acts this way. Offer to attend his therapy sessions if the professional feels it will help.
I have no other advice besides that which you already said you wouldn't consider. I'm sorry. I think you deserve better.
Maybe your friends and you could have your time you celebrate together (without her parents).
Hey there! First things first: If she said “no” and you ask another two times, that's not a good idea. Won't help, you'll just seem pushy.
Other than that: I'm kinda a direct person, but I don't think it's a good idea so tell her your feelings already. It sounds like you don't really know eachother. But you can be honest and tell her, how much she helped you and if she maybe wants to study for the next class together? Or a coffee between classes?
Just be ready to accept a “no”, if she doesn't want to!
The best thing to do is really think about what you want (like from life, job wise, location to on-line, what would make you happy, minus relationship stuff) focus on being the BEST YOU, you can be. Will it get him back? Idk, but if he's that great wouldn't he deserve the best version of you?
I have sometimes found texting convenient and other times highly inconvenient. It's a good way to half-express what you want without being too direct.
I think you should ask him if it's okay to call him some time. Calls are so much better than texts when it comes to really connecting with someone. It requires more attention so he is more likely to be immersed in the moment.
Now for the purpose of the call, just tell him that you can use a little conversation with someone who knows you. This will send him a bit of signal and you're not even being quite direct with him. You can start off by talking about the past few months. Just anything personal to you and him. Just float around some topics and at the end of the call, I think you'll know what he thinks of you.
Sorry to be harsh… but abort and leave him. Do NOT stay with him. Domestic abuse often becomes worse during pregnancy.
You've already made it clear to him that workplace relationships are career suicide. Unless he's a dullard he understands that. So what he's doing now is just messing with you. So if you want to date him leave this job and make a pass at him. If you want to keep the job tell him that if he doesn't stop this you'll report it to HR.
You’re conflating two different terms which is the issue….
Everything you said regarding preferences, is absolutely correct, and I agree with.
However, you then conflated a preference as being the same as a love language…
And there is no evidence whatsoever regarding the love part, for all the reasons I pointed out above.
Do people have preferences regarding how they prefer to be shown affection and general behaviours in which they tend to display their affection? Absolutely.
And they can also be generalised into patterns somewhat accuracy and simplicity.
But the claim that there is a specific language of love, is factually inaccurate.
We can solve this simply- go ask 5 random, English speaking native people to define love.
You will get different answers… if they can even define it at all.
And so you can’t use a scientific term, if it has multiple definitions….
Head for the hills!
I disagree, why would you hang out with someone who is disrespectful about the person you love? I wouldn't put up with someone being like that about my best friend, let alone my partner.
If they talked just as friends, there's nothing to worry about. Guys are allowed to have female friends, just like girls are allowed to have male friends.
Honestly, the only concerning thing here is how fixated you seem to be on this. Your panic over such a small thing, especially when your boyfriend has made you aware of the message/blocked her/etc shows that you seriously lack trust for your boyfriend. That isn't healthy and is very unfair to him.
As far as I can see it, you're the only one that's the problem at the moment. I know you can't help how you feel about it, but you should seek help for your anxiety.
Either a) he decides to cheat, b) gets violent when you say no, c) coerces/forces you, or d) any number of other bad outcomes.
Selfish to the core
You have a lier and a deadbeat father, he is a walking red flag