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Please don't get engaged to her if you feel this way, breaking off an engagement would be even more heartbreaking for her. Honestly if you feel this way she is going to be devestated either way but it's better not to string her along. I think you need to really weigh up what you want and if you feel the relationship is over for you then you should be honest and open about how you are feeling because if she thinks things are fine she'd probably be blindsided by a breakup which is more hurtful. You are in a tough situation, it's nude when you don't want to hurt someone but you are 22 years old, starting your adult life and you shouldn't tie yourself into something you don't want, it wouldn't be fair to either of you.
You asked him to go to therapy, something that is good for him and good for your relationship. It’s completely reasonable given the circumstances.
Ultimatums are for when they’ve had their last chance. Now you split up. In a few months time he will probably see the light.
I generally tell my gf about it too, but i feel sometimes, saying it repeatedly will hurt her
Wowww, THIS
You are a truly horrible person and partner. She deserves so much better than you. All women deserve better than you. You are correct that you are not cut out to be someone’s husband.
As a man, I think you’re almost being paranoid. You have to think, he probably felt you would not agree with this. So obviously that’s his bad, but to defend him I would mention, maybe he doesn’t want your mom or sister there while he’s getting ready to leave for work? Maybe paying a sitter a couple hours made the most sense to him. I mean he obviously knew you would find out. If he was trying to have an affair he would have never introduced her to your guys kids
I’m almost 38 I’ve had these exact same thoughts a lot in the last few years. Life in general was stressful, nude af, I found no enjoyment in anything, I was unhappy overall and I felt like just dropping everything and everyone. Most of the time I felt like walking out of my home with the clothes on my back and never returning.
Things came to a head and I ended up seeing my doctor where was I had blood work done and was referred for psychotherapy. After a couple months of therapy I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder, adjustment-anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, and later ADHD. However before I was diagnosed with all of the above, I was diagnosed with Graves’ disease(autoimmune). I said all of this to say that you should really push your sister to see her doctor. Her feelings, while valid, could be exacerbated if she’s dealing with any one of the disorders/ illnesses above undiagnosed.
She should really seek help for these feelings because she NEEDS relief from this and mood stabilizers may provide that along with therapy. Tell your sister that what she’s feeling isn’t uncommon but she can’t continue to let this go unaddressed because it will effect her children. Right now she’s parenting through this filter of wanting to runaway and kids pick up on that. I didn’t realize how those thoughts impacted my parenting and relationship with my children until I got relief from them.
I hope your sister gets the help that she needs. Good luck to you both.
Did he buy the gun legally? Is it registered and did he have to have a background check? It sounds like he bought it off some random person. Being able to own a gun as a non-citizen is not the same as owning a gun legally. If it is not registered and approved, it could jeopardize his ability to get his permanent citizenship. Since he is impulsive, it is up to you to find out the situation and explain it to him. If it is legal for him to have it, then you have to be honest about why you don’t want it available to you.
Start taking some vitamins and some pedialyte to help with electrolytes.
Did wonders for my energy level. Evidently, I was dehydrated a lot and anemic.
I'm sorry but she saved your life and you need to get your shit together. Your family should be fucking worshipping her for SAVING YOUR LIFE.
Offer to pay for the whole surgery IF she wants it.
Get a psychiatrist. Get a hobby. Get a fucking grip.
I feel so bad for your wife who sounds like an incredible person. She deserves so much better than your ungrateful ass.
Yes you're incompatible from the looks of it. What you need from her to feel secure will basically mean hear changing completely and dropping people she considers close friends from her life. That just won't work.
This is only true if you are above a certain level of income. It certainly does make a difference if you make coffee at home for less than 1$/ cup vs 5$ in a café. That adds up quickly and can make a big difference for low income households.
(Sorry if the sums don't add up exactly, I'm estimating the ratio and based it on € ?)
Oh my bad! I meant as in not getting others involved in trying to “catch her” and that (as in hopefully they'd believe me straight up). Tbh I was pretty sleepy when I typed that I would've understood the same thing, wasn't making much sense. Thanks for your comments btw! Already spoke to her boyfriend and added that in an short edit (don't know if I'm using reddit right).
This is pretty telling
He's self-employed but… laid himself off twice? How does that work?
The passport thing has nothing to do with being a saver. It sounds like him being 'laid back' actual equates to him being lazy and not caring. He doesn't want what you want. You already know that. If you want to date someone who more closely matches your goals, you'll have to date someone different.
She wants half your stuff.
You chose yourself time and time again, over events and time spend with him.
Decisions have consequences. Your son is is victim of a selfish mother. Your coffee shop meeting was called closure for your son and facing your bad choices. Do better with your daughter.
I wouldn’t be able to stay friends with someone who did this to me either. It’s nude to interpret what he said, to me at least, as anything other than “You have so little worth to me that you coming along would be a net negative to my experience.”
Thanks
Thanks, and that's a great way of looking at it. It just sucks having one person starving and the other not hungry at all. We're great almost everywhere else, so we'll have to keep working through it. Again, thanks.
Thanks, and that's a great way of looking at it. It just sucks having one person starving and the other not hungry at all. We're great almost everywhere else, so we'll have to keep working through it. Again, thanks.
This had nothing to do with you. Getting cold feet when meeting someone new is very common and it’s unfortunately difficult to express “I got scared and changed my mind”, so people will point to something else to blame.
Nothing you described makes me think a reasonable woman would have taken issue. This isn’t your issue.
But can I please ask what was so weird about my question?
What the fuck is wrong with him?? I hope that comment was supposed to be a joke.
That’s his gf now.
Young relationships seldom last.
Too much growing/changing/learning.
You can’t build on one like this.
It’s over, Grover.
I know it’s renovated but the condo board charges a maintenance fee to maintain (lawn, repairs, etc) the entire building/ property each month. Sometimes with older buildings it can go up to $1000
My boyfriend got me a very expensive gold necklace in Paris when he told me he first loved me. I lost it a month ago even though I usually never take it off. I told him and he hugged me and then we tore up the house looking for it. I found it sitting inside my jewelry tray?♀️
Be honest with him. Look everywhere. It’s going to be exhausting I’m so sorry. ? wishing you much luck and physical and emotional strength
He told me that they had never talked about closing their relationship, but she thought it was closed for some reason that we don't know. He also hooked up with a bunch of other girls during these 10 years, and I already met up with some of these girls. So he doesn't know exactly when their relationship closed (maybe when they started to live! together).
Sounds a bit too convenient of him to just blame everything on his ex. Lots of non-monogamous couples have boundaries, and e.g. friends are often off-limits, as are having sex with the same person again or again, or people you have feelings for.
She blocked me and she doesn't want to talk to me.
I don't think you did anything wrong….but there are thousands of men out there….why go for someone whom is in a relationship with your friend?
Yes OP leave him. He is a mooch and doesn't feel responsible at all. He is lazy and actually disrespectful to you and what you are doing. Dump his butt
4 months or so