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Has your wife been acting depressed lately, sad and withdrawn?
If it isn't postpartum depression, and she was just angry, I would call her to ask how she and the baby were doing and if she needed anything from the house you could bring over. Hearing your calm and collected voice may start to give her the encouragement to come home. Taking stuff over would give you a chance to see each other and make up. Tell her how you feel, but don't push.
First off your penis is fine. Stop trying to do anything to it. It won't change anything. I'm sorry I don't care what these studies show it's not gonna make a huge difference.
Second you have to say “we need to talk. Can you please give me a time that works for you?” Or some other kind of direct statement that makes it clear conversation needs to happen.
If she just avoids you forever man idk what to say except that's not a real relationship if she's avoiding communication and intimacy. What is the endgame for her here if she doesn't want these things? You gotta confront that – like ask specifically. Even say something like “it seems you're avoiding talking to me and that isn't healthy.”
The issue here is almost completely that she's refusing to communicate about something with you.
You‘re an extremely good person and you deserve a happy life.
Get that divorce.