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A lot is left out. How did you approach him and why did he categorize it as barking? Were you screaming at him?
How you phrased that he should be willing to talk about as a husband might seem tame, but we don't know the tone with which it was said. It's possible his reaction was uncalled for, or not. Nude to say.
Thanks hahahaha oops
I'm wondering if the reason for the wife not going, while reasonable, was really her idea…
Your body your rules. Find a better bf imho.
Said as a husband, a dad and a man!
Ill throw in my experience here and hopefully something can be some help for you! —
My ex and i started dating at 14 years old. We got married at 20 years old and felt as if we were living the dream – high school sweethearts and all that. Had a baby at 21, and then things went south and we ended up having a naked time, seperating, and divorcing.
I don't believe in being “too young to settle.” However, you do need to address the feelings of not having other experiences or they will only get stronger. I think your best bet is to have a healthy conversation about it.
First and foremost, if you guys cant get through the conversation with understanding and empathy, then thats already not a great sign and you need to work on your communication as a couple. But you can explain your fears, not in a way that hurts their feelings but explore whether or not they share in what you feel as well.
Really, it's either you stay or you go. There isnt any good way to go “sow your wild oats” and then come back to your partner, either you stay with them or you go seperate ways. Best of luck to you!
I'm not a fan of remaining friends with ex's at all, luckily neither is my husband.
I understand completely, and I respect that.. but that is your choice. And it's great that you've met someone on the same wavelength.
But even if I was, I would have great issue with my partner referring to his ex as
The other “love of my life, with whom I though I was gonna spend the rest of my life with”.
Again, yes I have to agree with you here. But that just how it is.. I didn't plan this, it happened. If your husband was the first ever guy that you ever fell in love with or imagined spending the rest of your life with, I'm very happy for you, but unfortunately many of us don't have that luck. Would it have been better if I just lied by ommision to her and told her Mary is just a friend?
Also the fact that you seem unable to seperate friendship love from relationship love.
and that I've tried the relationship thing with 2 of my other bffs (because you never know).
Basically you've tried to be in a relationship with every close female friend.
We were really great friends and thought “hey maybe… just MAYBE.. this awesome friendship can lead to an awesome relationship”. We knew we were friends, but we didn't really know if we were any good as romantic partners. We had our thoughts about it, but you can't really know for sure until you actually try. And we did.. we tried this out in a safe environment, as two consenting adults outside of any other relationships, and we didn't hurt anyone in the process.
What's stopping you confusing those feelings in the future? That would certainly make me insecure.
What's stopping me is that we already tried it out and concluded it didn't work. We didn't separate because of hardships in our lives that put pressure on the relationship, someone had to move away, or in a heat of the moment situation. With all of them it was a mature and reasonable “look we just don't work in a relationship”.
I am much more insecure of a new coworker she might have, or a past boyfriend that she broke up with because of events out of their control (like had to move away) then those exes where the relationship just ran it's course.
I mean how often are you hanging out with Mary? What does that friendship look like?
Talk on messenger once every 3 days.. mostly sharing memes and movies, and sometimes out lives. Haven't seen her physically in 6 months. And when we hang out.. mostly the same. My relationship with her is literally no different than my relationship with my other close friends (male and female) including making fun of and calling her “dude” and “dumbass”
You have a choice to make, you love Ana and she's the love of your life at the minute. Do you see yourself marrying her?
Yes
You need to think, is Ana the bride you imagine on your wedding day?
Yes
Or do you imagine Mary being in the wedding party/a guest at the wedding?
Also yes.
Because it's pretty obvious you can't have both.
Then honestly I don't know… even if I make this sacrifice for Ana.. how long until this festers up inside and comes out in other ways affecting our relationship?
Imagine it this way.. if you were offered your absolute dream job but you had to move away for it, and your husband wanted to stay where you are and you make that sacrifice for him because you love him and your relationship is more important and you are ok at the moment with his decision.. how long until the resentment seeps into your relationship?
Sadly, this is how I read it too.
OP, if he is 36 and “doesn't feel ready for kids” it sounds to me like he never will be.
Its time to fish or cut bait.