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Thanks for the advice
I think people can go out of this. Unfortunately we don’t decide where we are born and sometimes the environment around us is completely toxic and affecting our way of thinking. But if you are able to go out and see how is the world outside I think you can be even more sure that how they grew you up was the wrong way.
She gave you the url originally so I wouldn't be too concerned about trust violations, especially if she's still using the same one but what you're describing sounds pretty disturbing to me. Granted I'm not a mental health professional but I don't think this is normal. It sounds like there are too many and they're too graphic. I think these are warning signs that she may be a danger to others and/or herself and needs some professional help. I think you should talk to her about them or share them with a family member who can. Don't ignore your instincts on this one or worry about violating privacy by sharing with a family member. If something happens, you'll never stop wondering if you could have prevented it and not to sound dramatic but the reality is you could be saving her or someone else's life by intervening now.
The friend never told me his gf was unhappy with our friendship. Where did you read that? I only found out she was reading my messages thanks to the accident with the messages, where he told me that his gf insists on reading all his messages. Not just mine in particular, but all of them.
I have bad news about my other friends: They are almost all in relationships (including me). I don’t feel sharing emotions should be limited to single people.
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My bf and I have been together for 7 months, and we have s*x very regularly, and it’s good. But last night I sat in the room crying for 2 hours about some shit that I’m going through/ have been through and not once did he come and check on me. He came in the room after he got tired of playing his game and it was time for bed. He asked me what was wrong and I explained some of it to him, and we cuddled for a bit afterwards. He’s not very good at consoling me, so I don’t ask for it most of the time. After I had been done crying for about 20 mins, he starts rubbing up on me and asking to take my underwear off, to which I said yes. Previous sexual assaults as a young girl have made me practically unable to say no to sex, which is my fault that I didn’t say no I guess. But we had sex and I just faked like I was enjoying it. It just made me feel used, heavily reminded me of being molested as a little girl and that I’ll I’m here for is sex. I just don’t understand how he can be horny after I had just gotten done crying and needed hugs not to fuck. I never asked for it, but I feel bad not saying no. I just don’t know if I should let it slide because I didn’t explicitly say no and he doesn’t know I didn’t want it. Edit: I’m been saying this in the comments, but didn’t realize I didn’t explicitly say it here. I was crying over a previous sexual assault in the first place. Something had triggered me during the day and upset me, so I was crying about it and letting it out. I voiced this to him before he asked to have sex
Y’all might hate me, but this is the type of update I was looking for. People love to do unforgivable things and think being quiet for a couple years automatically makes it a forgive and forget situation. Keep on living unapologetically OP. I see nothing wrong with what you did. I’m sorry you had to go through this, but if you’re happy with it I’m happy for you
If he wants out why doesn't he just say it?
He has, multiple times. It is clear that he is done with this relationship, and every time he gets angry, he develops the courage to tell you that. It is clear he doesn't want to be in this relationship any more. He is going to continue making it hell for you until you finally listen to him, and leave. I am not even sure why you are still there.
Are you medicated?
Your funeral.
Marriage, I don’t know as this relationship is still new-ish. And I value the memories of course, however, paying for 2 limits what we can do sometimes and frankly it’s a burden I really never planned to take on. It also slows long term investments and savings. None of which is her fault, but then again, my post was about the relationship dynamic.
If I had been assaulted my wife would drop what she's doing and come to the hospital.
This is something that she needs to acknowledge is her issue and it's also something you can help with. It's likely she has a responsive sexual desire and needs certain things to get her going. Much of this can be done on her own, and some you can help with (romancing. Flirting etc) , but she has to be receptive to it. Also part of a responsive desire can be that she doesn't get in the mood until sex actually starts, so scheduling it is a good idea for a while.
Finally! Been scrolling to see if anyone suggested therapy.
Yes, you should definitely confide all with your wife. Yes, you should go low to no contact with friend. What said friend did was in excusable. She took an opportunity, when you felt your lowest, to completely turn the dynamic of your friendship. This is not a friend.
That said, you have been carrying a huge emotional burden for years. Now, the death of your brother, your father’s cruel comments and the betrayal of a friend has been added. This is not something you can handle without professional guidance. Your career is being jeopardized (being written up) because of this emotional burden. A good counselor or therapist (psychiatrist) can help you navigate this. Do this for yourself and for your relationship. You deserve to finally feel happy!
Have you ever wondered why women his age refused to date him, why he went after you (someone who was born when he was a freshman in high school), and why he keeps going to young women on Instagram?
Sounds like you're dating a groomer l
Well my point is I HAVE- on Reddit! Sorry you missed it.
Why are you with someone that is alright with hurting you to get off? Of course you are feeling used, because he is using you and not treating you like a person with feelings.
How is there fucking not a single person who’s doubting this story…
What are you getting from this relationship? It doesn't sound like much.
And you are so very hot on yourself. If you feel a certain way, it's not stupid, shameful, childish or dumb. Sometimes our feelings aren't always rational, but something is making you feel these things, and you seem to have figured out what that is – you feel like she has a lot more life experience, a lot more travel experience and you don't feel respected in this relationship.
Those are all valid feelings.
It's okay that you spent more time focusing on school. You can always travel. It sounds like you will be soon.
It's not okay that this relationship isn't working for you, and you feel disrespected in it. Maybe now is a good time to start fresh – new city, new job, and end this bad relationship?
This should be a really exciting time for you. You've graduated, you're moving, and you have a brand new job. Enjoy it! Ease up on yourself, and be kinder to yourself. We are all still learning as we go. ❤️
Huh? Intentions matter. People take offence at all sorts of stuff.
And that’s how everyone feels. But the truth is that she isn’t a fully formed adult and neither are you.
I never know the right things to say anymore.
The time for saying things is long gone. You've shown your (ex?) girlfriend that your word is meaningless. The only shot you have at fixing this is actually doing the things you say you're going to do. There are a ton of resources that are just a Google away that can help you learn how to manage a lot of the issues you list.
Why does it sound like you do everything you’re not supposed to do?
Shows that you don’t know shit about trauma and don’t care about this besides fetishizing some of his worst moments
Trauma fetish… yuck
As a very hot working man that’s been through alot of trauma, we don’t want your pity and we don’t want your fuckin charity and we don’t want to be yours to “lean on”. We want someone that sees BEYOND our awful past. Someone that Loves us for who we became as a person on our own. What we go through another trauma? Will you be there for us to lean on? Or we won’t be that strongggg man in your dreams anymore? Fucking pleaseeeeee.
Passive aggressiveness. Sounds like time to file for divorce
Yea, she’s cheating on you. Or at the least trying to cheat on you. Regardless, she doesn’t respect your relationship and that should be ending the relationship. Go home, pack her things, and have her out of your place. Take screenshots and send them to her when she asks why you are done. Yea, it’s shitty that you went through her profile. But since you did it, there is nothing you can do except have some dignity and leave her.
You shouldn’t force someone to parent as a consequence for something. That just seems like it would turn out bad for the kiddo.
Yeah, there are a lot of things you can break down into components. Tons of variations for stir fry, roasting a chicken and doing root vegetables, almost anything pasta aside from lasagna, grilled meat with whatever sides. I also like stuff like Daisy Martinez mango and black bean salad for protein and such for me. Keeps well for a week in the fridge.
Good luck!
Honestly, get him flowers aswell. Men don't get enough of those
Some men like flowers.
Does she give you vibes that she maybe cheating? If the answer is yes. You know what to do. If the answer is no. Stop tripping.
Man. You've been married for how long and you're taking the word of a guy you know is a psycho who keeps trophy pics after he gets his dick sucked over your wife. All over her not telling you she met someone you hate and sleeping drunk on your couch hard. I suppose she could be lying but man it'd really suck to end your marriage on the word of some asshole and then learn your wife was innocent all along. That's all I'll say.
This is crazy and controlling. Dude run away cause if she is like this when its distant i do not want to know the crazy when she is near you.