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101 thoughts on “??????? https://onlyfans.com/aliessia , >> the hard online sex chat with hottest babes with a hd cam”
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For your last question, my answer would be: no. Do not go back. Because the issue that made him break up in the first place is not in any way resolved. He has an issue with your work, and you are not going to – should not, IMO! – stop doing what you do for him. This will remain a problem for him. Why would it stop being one? He's going to grow resentful and angry and jealous. Hell. he is already resentful, angry, and jealous enough to dump you. His apologizing and asking you to go back is not in any way resolving this original problem. So no, don't go back.
How could “everything around the house” possibly take 8 hours a day? OP did not mention kids. Could you provide a breakdown of how cleaning up after 2 people could possibly take over 8 hours daily?
I would look for more on his phone… sounds fucking creepy. Do it safely but that’s odd behavior.
I may be wrong but that sounds very much like anxiety symptoms to me. I would encourage her to see a mental health professional about this. Preferably a therapist and a psychiatrist.
I think you should also probably set some boundaries with her. It honestly sounds like you have taken on a somewhat parental role in caring for her during these episodes. That can’t be healthy for your relationship or her sleeping issues. Her being dependent on you to make her feel safe isn’t going to build her confidence that this is something she can work through and get past on her own. As adults we need to be able to self soothe and utilize coping strategies.
What would she do before you lived together when this happened? Would she wake up roommates or parents to comfort her?
yes but she doesn’t online too close but not far enough where she wouldn’t make the drive
No. It's gotten worse every time though and building up to these explosions. He says it's me that causes it all. I've tried to find an affordable therapist, but can't. I don't just want advice from anyone
Or maybe this BF is abusive and you have to block him, move on.
we really dont know anymore about the situation to say that OP isn't in there with him. i just think 3 months in is too early to lay it out there for dude without scaring him off.. and to “bog down” feelings dont usually work, since its an uncontrollable thing anyways. thanks for not telling OP to do something so headstrong.
If OP could come back and give us more details i could help them decide on what to do. i am so worried that this will be screwed up already since the advice is so insane “play a christmas tune to see if theyll swoon over you” or “hey i would love to date you” when usually relationships need to be natural not forced.
Admittedly, he didn’t go into specifics at first and didn’t have much of a chance, because i was ranting at him. I assumed he was in a “wait room” if there is such a place in a brothel and it wasn’t until I specifically asked where he was that he told me that he went in with his mate. So I said ok – your mate has paid for the both of you? But in fact you paid and he is going to pay you back? And he said he assumes his mate paid (with borrowed funds) for both but his mate is a regular and spends a lot of money there that maybe he didn’t have to pay for him.
But yeah, what was the purpose of going in? Was my partner just going to shut his eyes and pray to the lord?
Do they have a plan for what happens at the end of six months or is this a pie-in-the-sky number (i.e.: long enough to figure it out)?
Thank you so much for commenting! I think I may have skipped a few things when writing about our arrangement. We are allowed to have feelings for said person, however, we are each other's main person. We come home to each other ~ always! There are no problems unless the outside person gets more attention and love. Basically he is my person and I would never want to change that. If my s/o ends up not being ok with my fantasies, then I will make sure they don't happen. My love, the father of my young one and partner of 3 years will always come first. No matter what.
You feel relief because that little voice in your head that told you it wasn't right, has finally been heard. You did what had to be done. You'll find someone when the time is right. It's sad that your partner couldn't hear you when you would tell him clearly what you wanted. You're in different places in your life and he was trying to rush you to get to where he's at.
He sounds like an absolute terrible partner. Even if you were fat (and you are NOT) shaming you and making you feel shit when you're vulnerable and suffering from a chronic illness is a disgusting behaviour. Besides, anyone that knows anything about health should know that BMI means literally nothing, it was invented by an mathematician / astronomer with zero background in medicine in the 19th century. It's literally crap and useless in measuring health.
I’d tell him, show him the letter or a picture of it and then go no-contact. That way you don’t have to argue about his mom like y’all are still a thing AND he realizes you’re not trying to manipulate or compete with his mom. You’re just done and she’s a big part of the reason why.
If the person your with can't stop u from thinking about being with someone else, they are NOT the one. That's incredibly Disrespectful to waste someone's time like that. Keep looking until u find someone who doesn't make you want to fantasize about others.
How did she make you feel like that?
I know most people are saying don’t do it but I say do it! Get her the lingerie. I think its a sweet geature and it sounds like you’re coming from a genuine place so there’s no way she won’t love it. Just make sure you get the right size and pick pieces you think SHE would pick out herself! Also maybe you can write a lil love note saying how beautiful and sexy you think she is to with the gift. Good luck
How are you 30 and don’t know how paternity tests work?
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“…that my party is something they consider special…”
But apparently they don’t consider your friendship special.
Time to break up. I assume she loves it since she wanted a short haircut and she will find someone who digs it and you can find a new GF with long hair.
I’m “give ‘em a taste of their own medicine” petty so I’d mention that no-one’s ever 100% happy with their partner, and that everyone has something they’d change about them but most don’t mention it because they’re too polite and kind so they pretend their partner is “just perfect” She will immediately ask what you would change about her, reply that she is “Just Perfect” with the exact same inflection as the way you said it earlier. When she feels annoyed, say the way she is feeling is the way she made you feel, she can take you like you are or you can both break up.
Or you can not play games and tell her to go fuck herself.
Relationships you have at 18 rarely go the distance, don’t be too upset if it doesn’t work out
Almost sounds like he might be projecting the kind of person he is on you or has some kind of disdain? Average people don't think like that!
Someone that cares about you and likes you would think” Man, my girlfriend is so good to her friends. I am glad to be in a relationship with a quality person like that” instead of assuming you are doing it because you are self absorbed and need the kudos.
If you haven't, read about love languages. Some people show love and care with affirming words, acts of service, gifts, quality time or physical touch.
I am a person that shows I care by cooking for people. Yeah, it's great to impress people and be complimented, but even if you don't hear about how good it was, it feels good. That may be your way too. You are making sure your friend eats and is free of the mental load of deciding on food and cooking when they are likely grieving too much to focus.
I question your BFs character if things are as you stated.
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Until she takes her mental health seriously and starts treating it consistently there's always going to be issues.
Yep, by mid 20s your metabolism slows down and you’ve got no more growing to do. That’s when I started having to exercise more and watch what I eat, in order to keep off the pounds
If you take him back he WILL cheat again and think that he wont be punished then either
She showed you who she really is, why would you trust her?
Girls like her always start with tears because they know that's the easiest way to get away with anything. Up to you tho.
Are you related? Lmao what if she is hiding that you have the same last name. That’s just… weird. Only people that are trying to hide something, do this.
OP I'm sorry I think he's lying.
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He's a boyfriend, yet he “routinely forces” you to do something. My friends aren't allowed to force me to do anything.
Ask him, if he’s ok with you hooking up with other guys too.
Jesus wept dump him
You can't? It isn't about you.
Don't do it. She realizes that the dating market value for a divorced 35 year old woman with two kids is zero, so she is clamouring to get back on the lifeboat before she ends up a lonely old cat lady. You are in your prime and now you don't have that cheating ball-n-chain to hold you back. Time to enjoy life, my friend. Go find you a 26 year old Barista to take to Cancun and sip Mojitos.
Dude posts looking for advice, receives advice he doesn’t like, ignores all of it, and does it his own way.
Good luck, man.
Will this be her first child?
Well, I used to behave in a similar way at that age. I am almost 60 now. It’s a matter of growing up. I understand you’re desire to be in a relationship, but is that what this is about? Or is it about the person? There are many people you may match with. You’re very young, there is a lot of life ahead of you. What do you want to do with your life? Beyond a relationship? That is what I would focus on if I were you, find your career path, get an education. While you’re doing that you may find someone who has the same interests as yourself, the same dreams, goals, and values. That’s what the foundations of a lifetime of togetherness is based on.
you need jesus man
He doesn't treat you like a queen, if he is looking to hire a sex worker!!
Duly noted after I posted this. Thanks ??
The person who chooses to abuse still deserves more approbation and judgment than the victim.
Honey, go get the education you deserve, and leave your mother to worry about the rapture. She isn't going to change, so just leave. You're a grown woman now. Please don't let her hold you back from reaching for your dreams!
Um yes. That’s what he’s saying lol
i would be dying of anxiety, holy shit!
Of course. The other betrayed partner deserves the same opportunity to have agency as you do. She should have the same opportunity to decide on her future as you do. This isn’t about revenge, it’s about letting someone know about a threat to their health and violation of their boundaries.
Whether or not you want to give your WP (wayward partner) another chance, telling the other BP is the right thing to do.
And if you are thinking about giving her another chance? She will need to find a new job.
What is ?orn? Is that porn involving corn? Ick!
What is ?orn? Is that porn involving corn? Ick!
Are you sure that it is credit card debt and not gambling debt or something else that doesn't lead to a lot of merchandise?
I feel like it was relevant to the topic, marriage was mentioned, he’d mentioned pre-nups. Does he sound slightly jaded-possible, or he was just to the point.. that in itself I don’t consider a red flag
He’s a little crazy when it comes to me but who isn’t like that towards their partners ?
Normal, healthy partners.
So he is entitled about the fact that your dad called him out?
Call her bluff and go. If she is this needy and manipulative you don’t need that anyway
You should still be using condoms even if he’s on BC. That’s literally the advice I gave my daughter who just got her period when we had the sex talk. BC is a must when sexually active and two forms is 100% necessary. Also, it’s easier clean up and you aren’t leaking seminal fluids after each encounter. It’s just cleaner.
If I were your bf, this would be setting off some alarm bells.
Tell her it doesn't matter whether to her he is only a friend if he wants to be with her and will flirt with her etc. It is good practice in relationship to not only not cheat, but do not act like someone who would be cheating as to not cause unnecessary anxiety. I think you need to explain to her.
Everyone poops. I don't understand what the big deal is.
Tell him he tastes bad down there so what is he complaining about?
I'm curious about your timeline here.
At the beginning, you said you dated for “only a few months”. Fine. But then later, after you talked about these serious convos you had, you said “Over the next couple of months, he…”
This implies you had these serious convos almost from the get-go. Is that true? If so, this might be the problem. Right now, it seems like everybody wants to skip the “dating days” and head straight into something more serious. I can think of several reasons why, but it can create some big problems. Whatever happened to just hanging out and getting to know each other? This is a fun part of dating when 2 people clearly like each other and want to see where it goes. It sounds like you did this, but maybe only for a couple weeks.
When you say the 2 of you talked a lot and had fun, obviously this is a good sign. But when you said that you didn't get into anything personal, this is the part that doesn't add up. Again, though, I'm basing all of this by that original comment about only being together for a few months. Maybe my tl;dr should be how you define “few”!
Anyway, this is what struck me.
Agree, and I also agree that I am not totally fine with it, hence my posting here. However I would rather work through my personal hang ups before I say anything I can’t take back to my life partner, so hopefully you understand where I’m coming from.
Also agree to your final paragraph, which is exactly what happened, so I’m glad I’m not too far off base. Thanks for giving me a check.
As someone from a racist family, I disagree with a lot of the replies you got here.
No, you should not have pushed him to introduce you. You should have respected his limits there. You should have accepted that he didn't want a relationship with them.
You did deserve to know that his family was racist and might reject your marriage and any kids that might come along. That may change your feelings about marriage and long term commitment. You deserved to get to decide what you want to include in your future.
I think you have to have two conversations. An apology about the visit and to work to restore trust. Then a second conversation about withholding information from you that will affect you. If you marry and have kids with them, you need to know that you need to protect your children from his family. That you may be on the receiving end of discrimination from his family. You deserve to know so you can protect yourself or move on if this is a dealbreaker for you.
Your priority should be restoring his trust and letting him know you'll respect his boundaries around his family, but you should also eventually discuss why he can't keep you fully in the dark about them either.
That’s just simply not true, that’s like saying a Jewish person should always announce their Jewishness before sex.
If he as another ticket he’s not offering you, he definitely has it bookmarked for someone else or plans to mess around. You don’t need a partner who plays with your emotions like this. I would call time of death. You can absolutely do better.
I’m a little confused by one thing, you call him your fiancé and your husband. Which is he?
You're friends, and that's a good thing. But friendship and romantic relationships are not the same, and I don't think you'll feel fulfilled over time if you settle for friendly coexistence instead of a love life.
Wtf? Where does op mention getting lots of sex?
Agree, spotting can definitely happen between periods. I've had many occasions over the years where I've had spotting before and even after periods.
It's not an acronym, it's a shortened term
Long distance relationships are naked, but not as nude as giving up your dream job. You will end up resenting him if you stay there. Still move and leave him to his PhD program.
Again the assumptions. You've got absolutely no information, other than your own personal bias, to indicate that she “was hiding it”. OP has given no other information.
You can say it would be a deal breaker for you. But to call her a liar, based on only the singular paragraph of information provided, is a huge stretch, especially when you've been given several perfectly realistic and reasonable situations where it may have occured, or she may have not wanted to tell him at all. Either way, its funny you're also stretching there, considering how much of a stretch it is to say you didn't say she was the problem in her last relationship, when you said the exact sentiment, in different words in your last comment.
Not everyone wants to be a step-parent. I am former step-kid and never would be a stepparent.
Ouch. That is naked.
I hope that they are getting help with their trauma so that they do not have a repeating patern of this type of experience.
You are doing what you can in giving them space if that is what they've requested of you. But it is not your fault that they tripped over a “land mine” left by a previously abusive relationship. Their friend was way out of line going off on you. But just because you did not intend harm, does not mean that harm may not have been experienced. Which sucks.
Those of us who have trauma must be responsible for addressing it. We must communicate with our partners as we discover what brings up our trauma responses. No one's a mind reader. Sometimes, sadly , we find out what our trauma responses are by tripping over them. And that sucks so much.
But when we do find them ,we need to communicate with our partners about what is happening and what it looks like, if we know beforehand, when we're in distress. For instance, I'll get quiet and go fetal when in distress. I let my partners known this.
We should not place blame on our current partners for our previous experiences. Especially if we shut down and are incapable of voicing our needs in the moment. If shutdown is a response we experience, it's a really good idea to negotiate with our partners before sex of any sort takes place. This is not foreplay either – a clear non-charged discussion of our needs is important. Because you have a history of being sexually assaulted – that will give you a reason to do this yourself on your own behalf. Doing so may make an opportunity for them to share with you as well.
It is not your fault that this happened. You did not abuse them – you did not assault them. They did not communicate with you that there was anything wrong until after the fact. At which point it is incredibly difficult for you to do anything to help them, except to be supportive of them and follow their lead on what they need.
There are so many people with sexual and relationship trauma- as a survivor yourself, I'd advise that you let your partners know that you do have a history of having been sexually assaulted, and disclose to partners if you know what may cause you to experince difficulties.
As an example, I tell partners that I've a history of sexual as a asault, rape and incest. I've done a lot of work to get to a place where i am not overly burdened by these experiences.. but to please do a few things for me:
No oscillating fans. 2. I do not tuck in sheets at the bottom of the bed. If this is a must for them, we will need to arrange to sleep separately. 3. Say my name if I seem slow to respond or appear to be less than fully present. 3. If I flinch, please check in with me verbally. 4. I am always happy to give verbal or hand signals. 5. My favorite word is yes. If a partner says yes to me, I will endavourto continue doing whatever I'm doing, the same way I'm doing it, for as long as I am told yes. If i say yes- then all is well. Please keep doing that! 6. If I am in distress of any sort- and i am having difficulty being verbal for whatever reason. I will tap rapidly with my hands or feet on them, or any available surface (the bed, wall, or whatever) Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap! This means I need to check in. Now.
I don't need to do a deep dive into my previous trauma- in fact I really don't want to as a lead up to interacting sexually. But I find feeling safe and cared for by my partners and making sure they know how to show care for me is very freeing.
You may want to consider finding a therapist who can help you make decisions on how to address the circumstances you find yourself in, your feelings of guilt, and to help you find a path forward, so that you can at least attempt to have some sort of resolution so that you can both engage socially with your mutual support network. They may also be able to help you navigate moving forward as far as how to address this socially amongst your friend group as well. Hope some of this helps.
While everyone has different sex drives, his complaining if he isn't getting more than once a day? Seriously? Just dump him and move on. He is clearly only focused on what he wants and in his head, you have to provide for his wants. I think we can all see why he was single. Help him be single again.
You found the narcissist!
Op is a whole ass veterinarian. Dude lead her on
First off, if you aren't sure if the person you're with is the one for you then don't force yourself to marry them. Marriage will not magically fix things and it'll be harder to separate your lives from each other if you do split. If anything, you can postpone the wedding until you feel the time is right.
Now that that's out of the way, if your fiance is being overly physical with your sister of all people then there's a chance that he was testing to see how'd she react. Clearly she wasn't okay with it as she moved out that same day. I'd ask your sister if he's tried anything else since then. If so, then I'd keep him away from her.
I don't want to bring my own traumas into your situation, but my BIL did more than SA me while I was babysitting my niece and nephew after I'd rejected his affections for years. He didn't take no for an answer. Sadly, my sister took his side after he lied to her saying that I'd been coming onto him and it was consensual. I was basically disowned by her until she divorced him years later.
I'd sit down and take a naked look at your relationship with your fiance. I don't encourage snooping unless absolutely necessary, but it may give you a better idea as to if he is cheating or doing behind your back.
Sounds like she’s not taking you seriously because you tolerate this behavior.
Maybe try a trial separation. She may realize how she was being unfair or she may (and you may) realize that you are better off apart.
Either way, you shouldn’t put up with this.
Fair, I guess that is true, I just sometimes struggle with looking after a child and getting everything done. In some respects it is an out of sight out of mind thing as I am bouncing around from event to event always just keeping my head above water.
I appreciate the input.
It’s ok to not be ready or willing to commit to marriage.
It’s not ok to not be upfront with her about your unwillingness to commit. Anything less than a frank discussion about that now would be stringing her along and wasting her time, especially about the children question – stop assuming and projecting about that.
Naked earned easily spent but I hear you. I just don’t do cars.
My wife has several new cars as she likes her wheels :-).
So I suppose we do have new cars, I just do not. My old car …. People get out the way as it’s worth nothing. If in a tight lane and it’s me or the 200k Porsche , The Porsche driver tends to panic a lot more than me. I go down bushes etc. I also do not worry parking it in parking lots. In the UK we have small roads, car parks.
So what happens if she cheats?
What happens? How do feel, what do you do, what's next for you?
Figuring those things out, and having a plan can alleviate the anxiety. You can't control someone else's behavior but you can control your own.
When you get into a spiral of guessing/fearing what she is doing: stop! Those spirals create problems that don't exist anywhere outside of your head. You have the power to stop them. Somebody else cheated on you, not her. Don't judge her by another person's behavior. Remind yourself she's not the one who cheated. Remind yourself she's given you no reason to believe she's going to cheat.
Give her a set number of days to pack up & leave & be seriously hardline with your boundaries towards any interactions with her. She needs to understand that this isn't a game she can play with your time, feelings and life.
This is a beautiful picture, good for being framed and hung up in your home in your living area or your bedroom or even the entry way to your home .
Don't let his lies and insecurities ruin that for you and for this picture.
Is something very trivial, but tied in tightly with family, so difficult to post publicly (since she is on Reddit too) It is not new behavior at all. She has done this before as well. Using “it“ and “baby” so as to not reveal gender.
Assuming he ever moves out of his mother’s house, when he does he will look to you to fill that role and do all the things for him that she does. Do you want to spend your life doing every little thing for a grown man who never learned how to take care of himself or his home?
I appreciate your advice – I think I knew what needed to be said, but I needed to hear someone else say it. Thank you for that, and for the links.
I am not sure I would get hung up on the entire broken “deal” a lot of commenters are pointing out, it was a decade ago, things change and you certainly change so much in your 20's. He might well have intended to move back, when he said that as a 23 year old.
I certainly see both sides and it's really a lose a lose situation. He is happy where he is and happy at the workplace he is at. Taking a paycut never feels great and especially when you would earn less money in total moving back compared to you finding another job there. Now some might say money isn't the most important thing there is and while I agree to some degree I think it should be a big factor in your decision making personally. Life is only gonna get more expensive.
Someone mentioned moving back yourself and that certainly could work, but feels more like a bandaid solution as I can't see what's gonna change in that time. One of you might miss the other so much that you decide you would rather online where the other lives.
Bruh have some spine and call a spade a spade…she’s been cheating on you with your mutual “friend”. They laugh at you together during their post-sex pillow talks. He comes in her mouth during the sleepover and she kisses you with those lips the next morning. He pounding your chick so naked she says she doesn’t love you anymore cause she’s thinking about him when it’s finally your turn for a ride.
Boy does this guy sound like a great catch.
The first few months are gonna be tough.
But believe me, in a while you'll be SO happy you didn't stay. You will find someone eventually who actually loves you because I'm sorry to say this, as it might be painful, but this guy doesn't. And as cheesy as it is, it's him, not you. He just hasn't learned how to apparently.
Once you meet someone who actually values and respects you, you're gonna be so happy you left.
You got this op.
Just leave, he’s not going to change.
Did you see a urologist? Get your testosterone levels checked?
Judgy much?
Probably not. You talked badly about him behind his back. Now he’s never going to be able to trust you again. Did you take accountability and apologize the first time? Did you talk badly about him again as he suspects?
I have tendencies of ADHD, which could play into this. The games will usually go for half an hour to an hour, when I check in between, it results in the same way. So would it be best to announce I will be playing x game and reply after x amount of time?
your wife isn't just financially abusive towards you, threatening with divorce to make the partner bend to your will is also emotional abuse. You NEVER threaten divorce until you are willing to go through with it.
She knows you love her and would (most likely) do anything to keep her, even tho i don't know why you would do that with an abuser.
You obviously need to get into treatment for this depression, STAT. But you also have to be honest with people. The message you sent was basically “don't worry about you, you go do you”, when what you really meant was “I'm in crisis and I need you”. It does seem that you and this person aren't a good match for many other reasons. But you can't say one thing and expect someone else to read between the lines and know that you really mean something else. Go get help so you don't have to online this way.
I have not, but I will now. ?
Ask her out in person and tell her you’re not looking for anything serious either. If she says no, move on.
Im not. Stop yelling at strangers on reddit.
Ding! And i wonder if it's because of her age, she doesn't sense the bullshit quite yet.