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It's pretty easy for someone to hide red flags if you've only been dating a few months. But this IS a red flag. It doesn't HAVE to mean the end of the relationship (personally that comment would immediately turn me off any interest I had in him, but also I wouldn't be interested in dating someone who either thought my intelligence was in question or that I'm 'not like other girls') but whether you end it or not you need to recognise the red flag so if more crop up you can see a pattern. If you decide to stay I would have a conversation with him and address
what other characteristics does he think are altered by gender (does he think women are more emotional, does he think men are designed to always be on the lookout for another sexual partner, etc, or it could be something benign, I would lead with examples like men tend to be taller than women to open him up to leading into views he might otherwise be defensive about)
what does he think of your intelligence? Unless you really don't care if he thinks you're the least intelligent person in the room in any given situation, that's something you're going to want to know. Phrase it as a curiosity, laugh about it as you say it so he doesn't see it as you potentially getting defensive, otherwise he may lie. He might anyway, but we want to minimise that risk. Decide how you feel about the answer yourself. It's not for anyone else to tell you what should bother you (we can say what would bother us but that's us, not you).
if intelligence is the only or one of the only things he seems to have sexist views on, find out why. Ask him why he thinks that, is it something he read, something he has noticed a trend for (what situations made him think this?), etc.
try and gauge how likely he is to change this view. This isn't something you can really do outright without making him defensive and less likely to change it. Based on how likely it is, do you want to maintain this relationship? Is there a limit where, if he hasn't changed his view you will want to leave?
might not matter to you but I would want to ask what he views as intelligence. Is it purely IQ (which is a rough measurement at best given that we don't have a quantitative value for intelligence)? Or is it specifically do they know things in his field? Does he count emotional intelligence? Creativity? Street smarts? Book smarts? Memory? Innovation? Etc. But yeah, that might not matter to you.
She separated from you to date the other guy. “Find herself” is a subtle way of saying I'm having Sex with other people. Divorce her. You owe her nothing.
Depends, it could be worth for them to look into love languages. If one of her top languages is gift giving and his isn't, it could simply explain the situation. You have to communicate about what you appreciate with partners. No need to jump the gun and call either of them a red flag. If they just talk about it, they can easily resolve this.
Oh dear you're going to be better off without this dudebro in your life. Yes he WAS blaming the rape victim, no matter how many times he tries to deflect after the fact.
First, unless you are willing to go to the range all the time and get super comfortable shooting and handling a gun, having a concealed carry weapon on you will make things much worse. MUCH worse. Unless you are so trained and comfortable than you can grab, cock, point, and shoot without hesitation then it WILL be used on you.
I had a CHL in Texas and owned many guns. We went to the range all the time. I now live in Spain so sold all my guns 5 years ago, but I can guarantee that if you aren't willing to do that (practice, practice, practice) then you do not want a gun on your body.
Lose the loser.
If she did it again I would just break up with her. Especially if she’s going to act like it’s no big deal after you’ve explicitly told her not to do that.
Do some reading. I believe most men are good. I don’t jump to abuse. But this is a classic timeline. Love bombing They are incredibly charming until the switch flips. Exactly as you described. I really want you to talk with someone. Don’t let him take your happiness and your confidence and your joy because that’s what is happening right now. Please. Reach out to a domestic violence hotline. Describe your relationship as you have here. You stood up for yourself which makes you amazing. That’s why he left. You’re a strong capable woman and he couldn’t have that. Please reach out to a professional. You probably shouldn’t take the word of a random woman. But trust them and use their resources to help you remember who you are.
Devils advocate, lets argue the other side of this comment section and try empathizing: clearly he was needing you to listen. Obviously he would be defensive if you start the argument by saying he embarrassed you to yalls friends. You're trying to correct his behavior when you could've easily seen he was upset and tried to talk about other things to cheer him up a bit (if you so cared to). Instead you knew he was emotional regardless of the reason, and hammered in how much of an embarrassment he was to you in front of everybody. Of course he would be defensive and react.
Id be shocked if I had a hand over my mouth also. That was the point. How many times in the past has he told you to listen and you kept interrupting? Why did he feel that the only way you would ever listen to him, was if he put a hand up to your mouth for only 2 seconds? Did he interrupt you when you were telling him about what an embarrassment he was?
ESH. Yall need to break up because you sound like a controlling drama queen who would rather be right and make corrections to behavior and “the argument” and he sounds like a similar dramatic emotional bottler who bursts over the silliest of things. You need someone who will do whatever you say and not have human moments in public or otherwise, and he needs someone who will have his back and not make him feel like he's not good enough.
Like look at what you're arguing:
Your point: you put your hand to my mouth so I'd “finally” listen.
His point: you called me an embarrassment to you and then won't listen to my feelings.
Hm.
If you're single you can post shit like that about the guy you're seeing. If you're engaged and you want to vet him you hire a damn PI. You might just have ruined your relationship. Posting shit like that publicly isn't something everybody is able tp get over
I just came for the comments ?
No, when he gets home act like things are fine until you have everything lined up with a divorce lawyer.