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Model from: us
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1996-04-21
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorOther
Eyes color: eyeColorGreen
Subculture: subcultureStudent
That's disgusting, dump him.
Him being gay is irrelevant. She admitted to you that you’re a back up plan, and she would cheat on you if someone hard enough were interested.
So you’d let her live in that house for free even once she gets a job? I assume no. So if while she’s working you make her pay half the mortgage, what advantage does she get from that? Her name isn’t on the deed so she would be basically paying rent to you, you get all the equity and benefits of the house and she gets nothing. Usually couples who have been together a long time get married and buy a house together, so both of their names will be on the deed. You’ve been with her over two years and don’t want to marry her or buy a house with her. That’s why she (and other commenters) are saying you aren’t serious about the relationship, you’re only thinking about yourself and how this benefits you. And you don’t do that when you’re in a long term relationship.
I don't want to control him. I want him to think about me. I want him to take me into consideration.
That is controlling him. We do not get a say in others' thoughts or their life path. Your emotional needs are likely so overwhelming that he's actually done very well by you, he still contacts you twice a week.
Your husband is nowhere in this post. That is who should be your emotional partner in life! That is who you get a say in where you online with them, or how they spend some of their free time. That is who you turn to when you are sad, or count on to grow old together.
On an emotional level, you have tried to turn your son into a husband- I don't mean romantically or sexually- but you are trying to make your own child responsible for your feelings. Work on your marriage.
Keep going to therapy. I 100% guarantee you that if you can find a way to master your own emotional inner landscape without the seething resentment then your relationship with your son will get better. He may never live near you again, but if the crushing weight of your emotional expectations is lifted, he will have more room to have a real relationship with you as his own person.