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Your lovely Julia <3, 20 y.o.
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EXACTLY but also I just feel like it's no point arguing either because in his mind he's always going to be correct and in mine me, ordinarily I would wanna reconcile but I just feel like it's all pointless. But what my biggest problem rn is, is that, I am still salty about this so I get very irritated with him very easily and because for him all's done is done he is taken aback and feels like omg why are you upset what is this issues and it drives me even more mad because how can you not the know the issues, it was never discussed it was put on hold because you kept ruining weeks of my vacation. I just don't know I wish I simply get dumped at this point
This is cliché but now often the saying “it's not you it's me” is actually true. It's so easy to think there is something wrong with you when things don't go right but really there usually isn't anything wrong with you and it truly is the other person. In your case she liked to party and do coke (you really want to be with someone who uses coke??). She never told you she wanted something serious and you said you weren't sure. So really no one lied to anyone here. She probably got the feeling that you were starting to get interested in more (nothig wrong with that) and realized she just wasn't. So nothing you did except for possibly wanting more.
I lost a few really good friendships and I still don't know why. And of course my mind blames myself first because if this something I did maybe I can fix it. We don't have control over how other feel or think. We can't make them want to be our friend or lover. We can do everything right amd still not be their person.
Sounds like you have some self esteem issues/anxiety. If you have access to therapy that might be a good palce to start. I've been there done that and therapy was definitely very helpful
Is it possible he just doesn’t want to care for his daughter by himself?
Girl BFFR. Don’t let that slide. You’re worth more than someone who can’t see it (your worth).
And he doesn’t even see your worth just because he came back to you. It’s probably what’s just most convenient for him.
ALWAYS have high standards and never feel bad about them.
Girl BFFR. Don’t let that slide. You’re worth more than someone who can’t see it (your worth).
And he doesn’t even see your worth just because he came back to you. It’s probably what’s just most convenient for him.
ALWAYS have high standards and never feel bad about them.
What do you mean that the obvious compromise is to try with a condom? You're not sure that's “palatable?” By “contraception” did you actually mean a form of invasive birth control like the pill or an IUD which she would be solely responsible for, or did you mean that she doesn't like condoms?
I spy with my little eye only half the story.
Take it from someone who has many years experience raising a daughter.
The way you treat their daughter and the way she views you is wayyyy more important than if you looked attractive upon first meeting. I'm sure they probably called your GF later to make sure your story was true. Once it matches up, it will be water under the bridge. You all will laugh about that first meeting years down the road.
Firstly, it seems like your wife due to her own morals and values, prides herself in TRUST and COMMUNICATION in a relationship. You continue to discuss this with your wife if you want it to actually work. If she decides to not forgive you and divorces; it’s well-within her rights. There’s nothing you can do; your intent was clear and the ball is in her court.
Your apology means nothing because you did want to take action and if you really felt guilty, you would have told her immediately, so of course she can’t trust that.
Secondly, stop wasting an escorts time with your nonsense!! Time is valuable and just because you like wasting yours instead of directly addressing this exasperated problem doesn’t mean you have the right to waste someone else’s time. Time = money.
I[24F] slept with my cousin's[30F] boyfriend[28M]
I read this and immediately said: “who gives a shit?”
it could be fixable but if you’re having doubts and thoughts rn imagine what happens in the next couple of years you have to do what’s best for you
You need therapy, you’re that jealous and insecure that you’ve banned him from talking in a group chat and hanging out with his friends… simply because he dared like someone before you…. She isn’t his ex, she’s a friend, he’s dating you-not her, he slept with you-not her…
Because it was a microagression on her part. His knee in her back let her know he is uncomfortable. Same with the hair, if OP didn't notice, maybe her hair got stuck on something and OP had nothing to do with it. If it even happened and she wasn't just gathering ammo to continue with the fight.
But to be perfectly fair, sometimes keeping composure takes all the effort a person has so she might have concentrated on not starting an argument in the car with other people and him where she couldn't see him.
If she can’t tell you, it’s not harmless. She’s lying. She’s hiding things from you. This is shady as fuck
I almost had a stroke trying to read and understand this
She sounds like the kind of girl who would poison you in your sleep because she had a dream that you cheated on her, and you seem like the kind of guy who is blind to red flags. Move on and learn what a healthy relationship looks like. Also, take things a bit slower.
Wildly different attitudes to money can be a dealbreaker – if someone coasts, expects their money to be theirs and your money to be ‘ours’ you’ll have issues. Especially if they’ve been bankrolled by parents – will this support stop when they have a partner and move out? Probably, then you’ll be liable for their expenses.
Have a serious talk, get everything on the table (because it’s better to do the difficult conversation now rather than when you’re in loads of debt) and absolutely don’t get a joint account.
If you are not throttling the gear on this situation and it is in fact him, well. The only way to find out if you are allowed to step back from the topic in general without him becoming resentful is.. to 1. Say I don’t want to debate on our politics like this anymore and just let that go from our personal relationship and see how it goes, or just do it and stop engaging and see how it goes.
We are monogamous, yet we have not gotten STI tests. She's never requested and I don't feel particularly concerned about the risk of spreading since we are using condoms.
I know condoms aren't 100% effective but I don't have any concerns about her cheating and condoms are effective enough for me to feel safe.
I think she likes to take a simple approach to this problem that she doesn't have to give much thought. Just always use condoms and forget about it.
She is less informed about these sorts of things than I would have expected, especially considering her paranoia about the issue.
For instance, she seemed to be under the impression that oral sex was safe. The concept of dental dams never crossed her mind. When we had this more serious discussion, I mentioned this concept to her and that she should probably be equally concerned about me possibly migrating her oral herpes down to her genitals.
From my understanding, about 60-70% of the population have oral herpes, so I don't really mind if she passes them to me, I'd likely get them eventually anyway. But this discussion we had did honestly spark concern in me for the handful of times she unsuccessfully attempted oral sex on me. No sores were present at the time of performing oral sex but the virus can still transmit regardless.
When we discussed this issue the thought seemed to worry her. Like she had never given it any thought and I had just dropped a bombshell on her. She sat in silence for a while. Pulled out her phone searching for research to better inform herself. Eventually she accepted the reality that oral sex, especially with the presence of oral herpes in our relationship was no safer than intercourse with a condom.
I brought this to her attention not to be petty (at least I don't feel that was my motivation) but because I was surprised by her ignorance on the issue and out of concern for my own sexual health. When I allowed myself to think about it, I felt like a moron for allowing her to attempt oral sex on me and figured if the idea made me uncomfortable she would definitely want to know.
I suggested that we should perhaps buy some dental dams to try them out. She thought about for a few seconds and rejected the idea, stating that she may feel a loss of sensation with the use of dental dams. I try my best not to be a petty person and put myself in other people's shoes but I will admit, I did allow myself to become slightly annoyed by that statement.
I suggested that maybe we could split a condom with some scissors to get an idea of the sensation. From the reading I had done, a lot of people prefer this approach anyway, since the average dental dam is a lot thicker than the average condom. She refused.
To her the pleasure she receives from direct oral sex is worth the risk of contracting genital herpes or any number of other infections from my mouth.
This is fine. It's her body, she chooses what risks she takes with it. I was just surprised by her unwillingness to even try dental dams.
Also I made it clear to her that I was no longer comfortable with unprotected oral sex being performed on me. Not a huge loss, since she doesn't like to perform it and I don't like to receive it due to the size issue between us.
However the very next time I performed oral sex on her, after I had finished her, I went to the bathroom to wash my mouth (she doesn't like to kiss after oral sex unless I have done this). When I returned from the ensuite to the bedroom she had positioned herself on the edge of the bed on all fours facing me. Her room is very cramped and there is maybe only a foot or two between the edge of the bed and the ensuite door.
This is the position she has assumed the last few times she has attempted oral on me. She stared at my penis which was erect at the time and began to lean towards it. I jokingly pushed her back and put on a silly voice telling her I didn't want it. But this did annoy me.
Because she never attempts oral sex on me. It's futile, I don't expect her to. It's just that she made a point of trying after I had told her in no uncertain terms that I didn't want it out of concern for my health.
I can kind of understand her position. Maybe she was trying to put herself at ease. Like “what we discussed last night about the dangers of oral sex wasn't that serious! We're going to move past it together and continue to have unprotected oral sex, because it's not something to be taken seriously and so I can stop worrying about it. Because my boyfriend, who is at a greater risk than myself at receiving herpes is about to receive oral sex from me, proving that there is no reason to be concerne”.
Could be over thinking that or could be going down the wrong road of thought entirely. Most over lines of reasoning have her just plainly forgetting that I had created this boundry or maybe she was just testing it, although for what purpose I have no idea.
In the six months we've been together she has maybe attempted oral sex a total of 5 times. Could be more, could be less. I'm likely only off by 1 or 2 attempts. After giving up she will typically throw the idea around about trying to improve her skills or making her jaw more durable to be able perform the pleasurable technique sustainably.
Nothing ever comes of it, she hasn't looked into any way to improve her oral sex skills and she so scarcely attempts it, it's not like she's giving herself a chance to gain practical experience.
She does like to play a very subservient role in bed, so maybe it's my fault for not demanding more of the oral sex that she can't give in order to give her more practise. But when her explanation is that I'm too thick and she calls it quits so quickly holding her jaw in discomfort. I feel that it is a fruitless endeavour. I also don't want to put her through that discomfort, especially since she has expressed her dislike of giving oral in general.
I give oral sex because I'm able to and enjoy doing it. I can understand that she is different to me in this regard. I think most people are on her side on this one.
It's just with this in mind I can't really understand what she was trying to do.