Disclaimer: I don't have all the answers for you, I can only point you in the directions the answers might be. That said, instagram, tiktok, facebook, etc. are all designed to be addictive, so he may just be dealing with that poorly. To be fair, a lot of people are. As far as whatsapp, telegram and other third party messaging apps, I don't know, but I would hazard a guess that he is in constant communication with the other students or professors in his program about things that are pertinent to his being able to complete this almost 12 year journey of his. I know that that's how we commonly communicated when we needed an isolated medium. Speaking from experience, the closer one gets to achieving a big goal like this, the more pressure one can feel and with that, other things that are important to us can fall by the wayside. This can lead to a multitude of odd behaviors, but the behavior in question, the constant checking of his phone, could be one of them, and seeing as certain medical professionals are required to pick up their phones 24/7, my bet is that it's a habit that has been instilled in him by either an overzealous professor somewhere along the way, or perhaps a work experience, traumatic or otherwise. You've been on three dates with this gentleman. I don't mean to be crass, but try to put yourself in his position with any of the above qualifiers being met and let me ask you: If you had been working for about 12 years of your life on something's important that it could drastically change the course of your life, as great as any guy may be, would you be willing to miss a potentially vital message concerning that for a single digit date? Just something to think about. I personally believe that your best course of action would be to, if you do decide to go on another date, to ask him about what he plans for the future, how he plans to get there, and most importantly, how intentionally he is seeking those things. If he brings up wanting a family, phrase it politely, but let him know that that requires a lot of, if not moreso, intentionality than his chosen profession. Let him know you want to see this continue, but that if you don't see marked improvement, you will go somewhere where you feel valued. Let him know that you want him to succeed, and that you're not setting an ultimatum, but that you do, for the durationof your date, want his undivided attention. Understand that he is busy, but don't be afraid to ask for justification as to what he's doing on his phone. You are there with him. Whoever he's talking to via the phone is not. Encourage him to be in the moment. Now, if he says having a family is not in his future, then you should seriously question what you're doing on this date with him, because it would be immediately apparent by that answer that you two are not moving towards a future together. Just my thoughts on the matter. Use them if they'll serve you well, trash them if they won't.
My boyfriend is very anxious, depressive, jealous, and angry.
abusive.
encouraging me to stay home rather than go out with friends or do outside hobbies, being frustrated daily, questioning my loyalty, lower emotinal understanding for others, etc.
honey he disrespected you & the relationships, lied & cheated on you. he is selfish & no integrity. why do you still wanna be with him?
You need to know your self-worth. he is unworthy of your love & care as he don't appreciate it by doing all the crap. Its like a one-sided thing already as NO MAN IN LOVE will do any crap to his beloved + he is 33 not 13 & still playing the fields + pining for a bar girl !? Gosh! how much more humiliation do you wanna take in?
I don't know what is the global obsession of phone privacy – if no one cheats then no one will snoop on the phones. As his gf you should be allowed to see & check his phone UNLESS he is cheating – as usual cheaters will die with their phones in hand LOL anyway you snooped & he is caught cheating – to me good for you! coz now you dodge a bullet. leave him unless you like to be lied & cheated on for the next 40 years. You deserve a better man & a better life.
Break up with him. That's not normal behavior and you deserve a fulfilling sex life with a partner who enjoys having sex with you. It's an integral part of bonding in a relationship!
Thank you so much guys for the info – looks like I've got a bit of work to do to secure myself!
I'm trying to get in touch with the company using contact details on their website instead, it might just be a phishing email or maybe a stupid 3rd company thing but freezing my credit for a bit of probably a smart move regardless…
You suffered a trauma. Have you worked with a therapist on that at all?
Your logic doesn’t make sense to me. Having one bad experience (a really bad one) doesn’t mean all that follow are the same. By your logic, because I was beaten and raped and held against my will in a foreign country 20 years ago, I should never go to a foreign country again. Or because I had a really and break up, shouldn’t date again.
Bad shit happens. If it impacts your ability to be your authentic self and live comfortably then it’s probably time for some therapy.
You need to decide what the response is here. Divorce? Counseling and she completely blocks Amanda off for good? You be a doormat and do some rug sweeping pretending like its all good and she continues to cheat on you? Power move and you fuck Amanda before having your wife block her everywhere?
Cause guaranteed if you go scorched earth she is dating Amanda within the month.
It's your boss's job to make sure the team is cohesive. If you feel uncomfortable with your coworkers behavior continue to communicate it to your boss. If she acts negatively towards you after complaints are addressed, that's retaliation and should be told to your HR department and discussed further with your boss. You're at your job, it's not the place to try and force a relationship with someone. Just be as polite as possible and raise concerns when you need to. If she gets in trouble that's her own doing, don't feel guilty about workplace harassment.
To be honest I feel like Reddit is massively overreacting here and your original thoughts on the subject, that it was just a high school joke that worked out, were right on the money. But Reddit loves drama and loves to go straight to the nuclear option and convinced you that was rationalizing this away for him and he needed to be dumped immediately. That seems excessive.
When I showed this post to my wife she had the same reaction I did. “Just tell him you know, ask for an explanation, and see if it’s satisfactory. No need to go straight to breaking up without at least talking about it.”
I do feel the olive branch, however, the cousin did admit to my SO he lied to me and his gf (this was before he knew my SO started dating me) and my SO communicated this to his parents as well. He had the receipts of this (voice memos even). So it wasn’t second hand information at all, they still preferred to believe the lies. I’m finding it very hot to find sympathy for people who don’t believe their own child when their child can bring receipts :/..
She doesn't respect you. What the fuck? She's terrible, man. Leave her and gtfo. Never look back. That way she can kill as many bosses as she likes, or not, because she'll actually have to cook food herself?
She doesn't respect you. What the fuck? She's terrible, man. Leave her and gtfo. Never look back. That way she can kill as many bosses as she likes, or not, because she'll actually have to cook food herself?
Also, when she does get back, don't go down her. It will have a different taste to it.
She has cheated on you (more than once), you owe her nothing
Disclaimer: I don't have all the answers for you, I can only point you in the directions the answers might be. That said, instagram, tiktok, facebook, etc. are all designed to be addictive, so he may just be dealing with that poorly. To be fair, a lot of people are. As far as whatsapp, telegram and other third party messaging apps, I don't know, but I would hazard a guess that he is in constant communication with the other students or professors in his program about things that are pertinent to his being able to complete this almost 12 year journey of his. I know that that's how we commonly communicated when we needed an isolated medium. Speaking from experience, the closer one gets to achieving a big goal like this, the more pressure one can feel and with that, other things that are important to us can fall by the wayside. This can lead to a multitude of odd behaviors, but the behavior in question, the constant checking of his phone, could be one of them, and seeing as certain medical professionals are required to pick up their phones 24/7, my bet is that it's a habit that has been instilled in him by either an overzealous professor somewhere along the way, or perhaps a work experience, traumatic or otherwise. You've been on three dates with this gentleman. I don't mean to be crass, but try to put yourself in his position with any of the above qualifiers being met and let me ask you: If you had been working for about 12 years of your life on something's important that it could drastically change the course of your life, as great as any guy may be, would you be willing to miss a potentially vital message concerning that for a single digit date? Just something to think about. I personally believe that your best course of action would be to, if you do decide to go on another date, to ask him about what he plans for the future, how he plans to get there, and most importantly, how intentionally he is seeking those things. If he brings up wanting a family, phrase it politely, but let him know that that requires a lot of, if not moreso, intentionality than his chosen profession. Let him know you want to see this continue, but that if you don't see marked improvement, you will go somewhere where you feel valued. Let him know that you want him to succeed, and that you're not setting an ultimatum, but that you do, for the durationof your date, want his undivided attention. Understand that he is busy, but don't be afraid to ask for justification as to what he's doing on his phone. You are there with him. Whoever he's talking to via the phone is not. Encourage him to be in the moment. Now, if he says having a family is not in his future, then you should seriously question what you're doing on this date with him, because it would be immediately apparent by that answer that you two are not moving towards a future together. Just my thoughts on the matter. Use them if they'll serve you well, trash them if they won't.
Thank you for the solid advice, I appreciate it!! xx
She says he stays conscious. If it were cardiac he would literally collapse.
have insecure attachment styles
that means your both insecure.
My boyfriend is very anxious, depressive, jealous, and angry.
abusive.
encouraging me to stay home rather than go out with friends or do outside hobbies, being frustrated daily, questioning my loyalty, lower emotinal understanding for others, etc.
yeah that's just abuse.
so no.
honey he disrespected you & the relationships, lied & cheated on you. he is selfish & no integrity. why do you still wanna be with him?
You need to know your self-worth. he is unworthy of your love & care as he don't appreciate it by doing all the crap. Its like a one-sided thing already as NO MAN IN LOVE will do any crap to his beloved + he is 33 not 13 & still playing the fields + pining for a bar girl !? Gosh! how much more humiliation do you wanna take in?
I don't know what is the global obsession of phone privacy – if no one cheats then no one will snoop on the phones. As his gf you should be allowed to see & check his phone UNLESS he is cheating – as usual cheaters will die with their phones in hand LOL anyway you snooped & he is caught cheating – to me good for you! coz now you dodge a bullet. leave him unless you like to be lied & cheated on for the next 40 years. You deserve a better man & a better life.
Break up with him. That's not normal behavior and you deserve a fulfilling sex life with a partner who enjoys having sex with you. It's an integral part of bonding in a relationship!
Thank you so much guys for the info – looks like I've got a bit of work to do to secure myself!
I'm trying to get in touch with the company using contact details on their website instead, it might just be a phishing email or maybe a stupid 3rd company thing but freezing my credit for a bit of probably a smart move regardless…
You suffered a trauma. Have you worked with a therapist on that at all?
Your logic doesn’t make sense to me. Having one bad experience (a really bad one) doesn’t mean all that follow are the same. By your logic, because I was beaten and raped and held against my will in a foreign country 20 years ago, I should never go to a foreign country again. Or because I had a really and break up, shouldn’t date again.
Bad shit happens. If it impacts your ability to be your authentic self and live comfortably then it’s probably time for some therapy.
This is cheating, plain and simple.
You need to decide what the response is here. Divorce? Counseling and she completely blocks Amanda off for good? You be a doormat and do some rug sweeping pretending like its all good and she continues to cheat on you? Power move and you fuck Amanda before having your wife block her everywhere?
Cause guaranteed if you go scorched earth she is dating Amanda within the month.
It's your boss's job to make sure the team is cohesive. If you feel uncomfortable with your coworkers behavior continue to communicate it to your boss. If she acts negatively towards you after complaints are addressed, that's retaliation and should be told to your HR department and discussed further with your boss. You're at your job, it's not the place to try and force a relationship with someone. Just be as polite as possible and raise concerns when you need to. If she gets in trouble that's her own doing, don't feel guilty about workplace harassment.
Seeing things like that, that's much worse than i thought…but i think you're right
More red flags than a Beijing Olympics. Definitely leave and never look back.
Get a new gf
Sweetie…you WERE the break-up!
Thinks about what you want and go with that choice. He could have wore a condom so the accident is not on you it’s on him.
Trauma bonded is what you are, it's not love, it's what your familiar and comfortable with but it's not love.
To be honest I feel like Reddit is massively overreacting here and your original thoughts on the subject, that it was just a high school joke that worked out, were right on the money. But Reddit loves drama and loves to go straight to the nuclear option and convinced you that was rationalizing this away for him and he needed to be dumped immediately. That seems excessive.
When I showed this post to my wife she had the same reaction I did. “Just tell him you know, ask for an explanation, and see if it’s satisfactory. No need to go straight to breaking up without at least talking about it.”
If two years it didn't happen it's not gonna happen now.
This and he sounds like a right AH. Get away girl no one should have a partner talk to them tht way. Its abusive and disrespectful.
Thank you for the advice!
I do feel the olive branch, however, the cousin did admit to my SO he lied to me and his gf (this was before he knew my SO started dating me) and my SO communicated this to his parents as well. He had the receipts of this (voice memos even). So it wasn’t second hand information at all, they still preferred to believe the lies. I’m finding it very hot to find sympathy for people who don’t believe their own child when their child can bring receipts :/..
She doesn't respect you. What the fuck? She's terrible, man. Leave her and gtfo. Never look back. That way she can kill as many bosses as she likes, or not, because she'll actually have to cook food herself?
I remember hearing those words myself – it has since helped me tremendously.
She doesn't respect you. What the fuck? She's terrible, man. Leave her and gtfo. Never look back. That way she can kill as many bosses as she likes, or not, because she'll actually have to cook food herself?
“Seek validation from other women” ok buddy sure. You deserve better OP. If you can leave, please do