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If you read the whole thing I said that I hinted that I wanted flowers aka saying to his face that I want flowers. I hinted more that I wanted to revive something more than he hinted that he didn’t want to celebrate it.
Exactly this. Had one guy start accusing me of cheating, and I found out his pickup was in his ex's driveway over night.
1.5 years ago you should have broken up. Not moved into together. If she’s not who you want to marry, then break up with her. Everyone is asking you because she told them she wants you to marry her. And the kids she probably wants them and will want them soon after marriage.
It’s over I could really use someone to talk to atm anyways. I can actually see him taking the time off to take care of our children bc he really wants kids but I still have my doubts bc you never know. He’s very supportive but it’s just this one thing that really gets me. I want to be taken out on dates and receive flowers from him without asking. I want to plan trips together and go even if it isn’t expensive or a far away trip. I just want to spend time and create memories with him before we regret it :’)
Literally tell him.
But why would I lie about it to anonymous strangers
Thank you.
Thank you.
The effectiveness of reversal for vasectomy is 90-95% (vasovasotomy) and 65-70% (vasoepididymostomy). So yeah, be aware there is a small chance it'll be permanent.
In any case, what I was more trying to get at is maybe its not the best idea to marry someone who disregards boundaries like she does.
i don't understand, thats basically what i said at the first was that they are not compatable. then we got into this discussion and you came at the end of the discussion… so here we are conjuring up more shit.
I am going to end things but we work together everyday. So I don’t want to make that difficult.
If you don't end it, you teach her she can get away with this. We learn the most from the mistakes we cannot undo.
Please, for the sake of the next guy, help her learn that this is a mistake that only leads to disaster.
I’m just a bit concerned we are with each other because we don’t do too many responsible adult things together and our uglier sides haven’t come out yet. I had a plan on maybe trying to cook a really complicated recipe with her or something
If you can't talk about money together, you're not ready to move in together.
Wow. Your responses are…. Something. You are in no way here to understand and are just here looking for reasons to hate it. Honestly, your poor fucking girlfriend. She just likes reading entertaining books and you wanna blow it up. Leave her alone and get a life, or therapy, or something.
Yes I do. You think it’s fine that she’s profiting off him? What’s the split? She’s not paying anything.
She isn’t responsible for him, and he agreed to this upfront.
Why is this ridiculous idea so loved on this sub? They are your SO, why do so many people here act like you shouldn’t provide basic support and responsibility? Dude barely has money and she’s taking most of it.
I can absolutely imagine asking a new partner to pay their share to assure they aren’t using me to cover them.
Don’t invite someone to online with you if you think this is the case.
Honestly that comment would be a dealbteaker for me unless she can explain herself and make some rational sense
Life does not come with guarantees. For anyone.
By all means, tell her the truth, complete and unvarnished.
I understand that you think this means you should break up. Maybe so. Maybe not. This lady is in her 40s so it is not her first rodeo.
She is a mature woman with a mind, heart, and soul of her own. So let her make her own choice about pursuing the relationship. You are doing her a disservice and showing little respect for her, IMO.
I know more about this than I ever wanted to. My last lover was diagnosed with cancer with an, at best, guarded prognosis. His solution, like yours was to break up with me. Nope. I knew what I was getting into. (My husband had died of cancer and I did his home hospice care.) So I stayed and stood by him to the sad end.
Having an honest conversation with your gf about this will be harrowing, true. Giving her an “easy out,” should she want that, is not a bad thing either. BUT, if she wants to and is willing to walk this rough road with you, do so.
I hope you have the best possible outcome.
No. She's already moving on and she's been clear about her intentions towards you.
Don't chase down something that doesn't want to stay, my friend.
Why is the guy who made his intentions very concise and clear from the get go “sulking and pouting” while OP who irresponsibly made a commitment based on a faulty assumption is walking it back once the assumption was proven false? She of course has every right to keep the child but the guy who is feeling exactly what he said he would isn't “sulking.” You're telling OP what they want to hear because the truth might cause conflict, which exactly what OP did in the first place.
Sorry but I find the whole concept of not having sex until marriage outright stupid. Wait for what? The sex won't get any less special if you wait for it. The only things such vows accomplish are negative – like what you are experiencing with your fiance right now.
What are you going to do if you realize that you and your then husband have absolutely different expectations of your sex life? Or that you both rushed into that marriage because at least one of you wanted sex so badly?
Not getting to know your partner in every aspect of your relationship is a very sure way for a marriage going to get bad fast.
Has the girl been going?
Agree with this. OP u need to take care of urself too.
U sound like a sweetheart. Caregiving is alooot of work. Even just having someone emotionally be very dependent on u is extremely draining. U having to clean up pee on ur own furniture without even an apology isn't okay.
She is at the end of the day an adult. If she needs help that's understandable bt she needs to get it. It's not ur responsibility to online in a smelly place and to clean up other people's urine.
That's gonna start affecting your own mental health.
I tried but he says he is just busy but he is also active a lot and i can't talk irl because i get scared of the subject
Is she really supposed to tell men she can't add them on social media because she has a boyfriend? Is that really ya'lls standard between each other? Because that's toxic af.
You've been in numerous long relationships, at 21? When did you start dating, in kindergarten?
I was asking to establish if he has a pattern of going for younger partners. You will find out soon if he’s trying to exert power over you. For now just have faith and enjoy the relationship
You should call the police – if this is real, this is way too serious for Reddit.
You need to go to the police immediately.
No, just don´t.
If you hink that she will magically be your lovely wife with a kid you are really a fool. Kids are a serious deal, even for people that really want them.
So no. Don´t do this to yourself, to her and, most important, to an innocent life.
I don’t but Mark’s gf isn’t apart of our friend group
It's the Liberation pledge. That's his choice and his activism. If you two aren't on the same page and you don't want to eat at only at fully vegan restaurants, then you two should break up. This isn't a discussion about him being too strict…etc. If your values don't align, then part ways.
Im a guy, have never been with a sex worker but would agree with the same principle that he should tell her. But go off General Generalizer
Yo wtf. You don’t cheat on someone and beg for them back without even trying to address the issue. Unfortunately this is the consequence of your actions. I have no sympathy for you, but my advice is to address why you did the things you did and try to be more honest in your next relationship.
Inviting your ex fuck buddies, not telling him that they were former lovers beforehand and making sure he would be ok with them being there, is messed up. This would lose trust. He would be thinking what else are you hiding from me. Though to jump straight to you cheating is a bit much, unless he learned you had sex with others early in your relationship and some overlap happened.
I assume because of the way op phrased it as without telling me and not without permission but idk.
I don't know how to approach the situation and how to make it sound like I am not attacking her. Let's take a different example -> I have been asking her to use her headphones when working or listening to music during work hours. All she did was stare me down and tell me she doesn't like them, and I have been saying that for the past 4 months. I mean, we online in a small open-space 1 bed apartment and when she does that I find it hot to concentrate on my work but she doesn't seem to mind. But god forbid I make a sound -> all hell breaks loose.
If you don't tell dad, then I will
That's it.
He saved up $150,000 after declaring bankruptcy. He basically died AND rose from the dead and has saved more than most 30 y/o have at that point in life. She has very high expectations.
Yes, his money management skills sound like they suck but she says he didn’t save at all! $150k must be pocket change to her. Dramatic much?
Ummm no. Why the need to sleep over there? It’s a cat. It’s perfectly reasonable that he go visit the cat for a little then leaves , because again….it’s a cat.
I understand he may miss it but it’s actually absurd that he sees that as the perfect opportunity to sleep at his exes house. Visiting is one thing sure, but sleeping over is definitely crossing a line.
So OP created a monster but she doesn't want accountability? Lmao.
Heres your one and only peice of advice from me, Don't marry him
What would you do in this situation?
I would end my relationship with him. That's not acceptable, it's atrocious behavior.
I'm sorry you're going through this, dealing with the loss of a loved one, a stroke, and then infidelity is an incredibly difficult series of events. I would encourage you to reach out to loved ones for support and to a therapist if you haven't already.
That seems… really awful, and I'm very sorry someone you loved did that to you.
Ghost him. He deserves no explanations. Go out this weekend without a care in the world. Celebrate your freedom!
I agree with you and I understand. The evening or another day is totally fine! It’s more because he showed no desire to do anything special at all. And thank you ☺️