I don't know how to link to the original post. I'm sorry
Thanks to those who gave me advice. It helped me a lot!
I talked to my therapist about everything and she basicly said the same as the commenters “Be you. Be quirky. Who wants only boring friends when you could have someone who brings sunshine and fun into your day!”
So first things first: the get together was cancelled. One of the women broke her leg and everyone agreed to schedule it after she is fine again.
The day after my post I asked Jane if I could have her number. Still awkward I told her I won't call or write too much and I would contact her for the get together only. She laughed a sweet laugh and told me to contact her whenever I feel like to talk about whatever I want. She would be happy, because she conciders me a friend. In my head I was shrieking like a fan girl!
As we talked and texted for some days she asked me if she could give a friend of hers my number. This friend is the other women from their group (not the one with the broken leg). Shortly after agreeing an unknown number texted me and introduced herself as “Hanna”. She didn't beat around the bush and asked me if I wanted to come to her WEDDING! I asked if she was sure about that, because a wedding is for family and friends. She wrote “I am married already, but we didn't have a party. It was in the courthouse. We want to say our vowes again and celebrate with loving people around us. Family and friends. And, well, maybe we could be friends”
We texted for a while and she told me how good Jane speaks of me, that Hanna herself is a bit quirky and she would love to have another quirky friend. I accepted the invitation.
She told me the wedding will be at her farm and she's looking forward to meet me and my son there. She also was very understanding of my sons ARFID and has no problems with me bringing some snacks for my son. I promised to bring more so he could share if another kid wants some.
All in all I'm happy to meet new people soon and maybe make some (more) friends. And the best part for now is texting with two lovely women whenever they have free time (they are both busy people).
I'm glad I posted on reddit. It kind of gave me a confidence boost and I was able to ask Jane for her number. All I've experienced since then was pure happiness and joy.
Thank you again for reading!