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Yeah… she was putting feelers onto your friend. Sorry man
Yupp
Leave h£r before sh£ leaves you. What does this mean? It means be able to read a w0man's mind that you can already tell when she's drifting away or the relationship is over. Before a relationship is over, signs are always there, unfortunately too many men on-line with hope Most men are caught unaware with these texts
·I need some space ·I don't think I can continue with this relationship ·It's over ·We are forcing things ·There's someone new
Before she says any of that, the signs are always there But instead of starting to prepare yourself for the inevitable – flirting with other wom£n & detaching from her. You do the dumbest shit – confront her or try to make things work.
Did her boyfriend really tell her she will never recover from this? If so this needs to be reported as that’s not a good way for someone in this profession to advise on
Why do you see him every day?
Don't get him whole new pc. Thats totally wasteful. If he is savy you can save and just get him a motherboard cpu and ram. Or just a better gpu. Depending on his setup a new tower and power supply may not be needed. Listen to him and act on what actually needs improving. That way you're also giving him a big kid lego set too and he can have the fun of building something! All this depends on his technical level though. And it could be fun to wrap them separately and see his face as the components get opened individually.
To me he sounds like a gentle, affectionate person so slapping or causing another person pain may be very difficult for him no matter if you ask him to or not, it just may not be in his nature so seeing the aftereffects may have been quite traumatic. You might want to rethink him being rough during sex, at least for the time being.
Would you break up with him if he cheated on you with a girl?
Kill someone with one punch? Maybe a pretty good boxer or a martial arts black belt could do that, but not the average 20 year old kid. And it wouldn’t be his mouth bleeding…just saying.
I think the timing is just bad. I had a similar situation where I met an incredible woman and fell very hot for her very quickly. But, although I was separated and living on my own, she grew upset the divorce wasn't started yet (entirely because moving out cost WAY more than I expected it to and had to save up to start the proceedings. My ex-wife didn't want the divorce and so wouldn't help pay for it). I spent an entire year trying to win her back and she rejected me every time, including after the divorce was finalized. I still think to this day she was The One, but the timing of when I met her was just all wrong.
It was a very naked year, so I would suggest saving yourself heartache and move on.
Woman here, I’ve never had an issue with my bf watching porn. As long as it didn’t take over his life and as long as he didn’t do it when I was around. We all have needs and sometimes we need release. If you’re view is so negative on it I do recommend seeing a therapist.
Happy birthday.
It may not feel like it now, but it will be ok with time. Hope you feel better soon and get trough this stronger on the other side
Only for them to turn around and say “Well you are terrible in bed and your breath smells as bad as your crotch”?
Probably to put some space in between you guys
I'm troubled by the lack of context around this. Like, what was the leadup to the incident(s), why/how was it videoed, has this been covered in therapy, etc.
Because if the physical abuse was like a year in the past, the wife has made restitution, and they've resolved it him throwing her past mistake in her face and threatening to take the newborn is emotional abuse.
I would have ended the relationship instantly.
Long distance never really worked for me but it's good that it's working for you sir. Good luck.
As someone who’s been in your shoes before, I’d leave it. I wish I had known then what I know now, which is that it probably won’t happen… I’ve gone through this same thing myself with the same person several times to no avail. We started dating right before I turned 27. Now we’re at 4.5 years and honestly, I don’t know if I even want it anymore because at this point it would feel like a hush ring. If marriage is something you want, be firm and ready to walk. If you keep waiting indefinitely on it, you’ll eventually grow to resent him and the relationship, and your decision to stay in the relationship.
Check out r/AlAnon. You’re not alone.
She sounds delightful
The fact that you think that this isn't enough to break up over
Uhhhhhh…dude. She’s not just your girlfriend. She’s everyone’s girlfriend.
Things have gotten better since the situation she respects me more and have been honest with everything
It's good that you have begun this conversation. Many couples discover far too late that they are deeply incompatible. Using porn to have orgasms daily is no more evidence of an addiction than eating and sleeping daily are evidence of an addiction. Having orgasms doesn't rot your brain like alcohol and heroin do. Like everything, the use of porn can be carried on to excess, but if he's earning a living, is living within his means, and is satisfying you sexually, there's no particular reason to be concerned.
As noted, however, if, for whatever reason, you can't deal with his doing this, you shouldn't deny your feelings. It would just mean that you're incompatible.
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But with the correct spelling of “too” at the end, please!
I do have a particularly strong attachment to her, I will admit. I was extremely socially anxious for the first four years I knew her and she was one of my only friends because I was unable to talk to others. I've now been in therapy for a few years and can talk to others but I think there is still that strong attachment and inability to let go of her because she was one of the only things I had for a long time.
I have a really large friend group now and they're all incredible. They're all so supportive and it's a really positive community and I really want to be as attached to them as I am to her. But, I think it is the sentimental nature of the friendship that is making it very hot to let go, and I know that I never meant as much to her as she did to me and her behaviour now is just confirming that thought. It just hurts and I'm having a naked time coping I think.
You were both in the wrong. She shouldn’t lead you on but you should have controlled yourself and been the bigger person. I’d move on to someone that knows what they want.
Right that was my first takeaway. Like being diagnosed with NPD means they not only realized there was a problem, but actually decided to DO something about it, which is exceedingly rare and OP should honestly getting some serious props for that alone ?♀️ At this point she's just going to have to count on open communication with her husband and him seeing what's REALLY going on and not just caving and doing what mommy wants.
My husband is a porn addict. He's in recovery and things are incredible from a sexual standpoint. We went from having sex once a week ish, to several times a week, sometimes multiple times per day. Twice last night for example.
While he was in the throes of porn addiction, he chose a thirty-second toilet jerk to be easy and preferable. I wonder if there's something else going on with your husband. I genuinely hope not because porn addiction is no joke. Sending you tons of support.
If you are a woman and by yourself you absolutely can.
Have you ever had an audio call with her? Or a FaceTime? You’re probably being catfished by someone with serious insecurity issues…
Leave. Age gap is a red flag to begin with, but now you find out there's no chemistry AND he has an ego? Won't be very hot to find better.
Talk to I’m about it and if nothing changes then just leave him. Don’t resort to cheating when u can just break up with him and be with whoever you’d like.
Shocking!
I've got a friend that supported her wife the last two years of med school (pretty long career to finish) and it worked but at 30 y/o and married.
Your situation is definitely not the same, one of the main factors couples breakup is money stress, so definitely entering a big risk. You should take the time to save more aggressively and let her come to your place very often and a year in the masters you guys could reevaluate.
Best decision is to delay the plan one year and sense the mood instead of rushing in a big risk for your relationship.
So wait he doesn't do these things? He just said he would be ok with going only that far if it happened?
Best of luck to you both
What would you tell your brother/sister/friend, if they gave you all this information about their partner?
It's been two months. He probably felt it was too soon. I feel like dating should always involve more than one person anyway until taking some time to know others. Not saying you should sleep with multiple people simultaneously, but take your time to get to know people first, and make sure they know you're seeing others. The serious ones will make the move first to be exclusive.
Man I want to. Love makes crazy. I mean, it’s easier said than done right?
First it was calling her useless, now it’s making her feel useless? The difference matters. The first could be she’s making mistakes and not correcting them and/or someone is being abusive towards her, the second is her comparing herself to others to measure her success when it’s mentally healthier to compare yourself to your past self.
That said, with what this sounds like, she needs more than your support, she probably needs therapy. And as much as you probably want to help, it’s not healthy if your relationship consists of you being more of her therapist than her partner. Might be time to encourage her yo seek therapy to address her negative feelings about herself.
Yeah, your boyfriend sucks. He is a really really bad guy.
A call would be a good idea, but unfortunately the mic on his phone doesn’t work so I wouldn’t be able to hear anything he said
Leave leave leave leave leave leave now now now now now now bestie ghost that guy immed.
I do want to please her from the bottom but I really have no idea how
Yeah just grow up and move on.
It's very hot to say. You'd really need to talk things through with a professional. I've been though a similar things at your age, but my reasons were very individual, so you'd need to find out what's going on with you, because it could be many things.
He's disgusting. I'd dump someone over that shit. What a selfish asshole
Hed get more for Pawning it… metal value will be 70 if it's gold
Ask him to get a vasectomy so you'll be more comfortable if he tries to force you to have sex without a condom.
You shouldn't be married to a man you can't trust. At the end of the day during sex if one person is uncomfortable doing something you both can't do it.
Have a conversation with him about your fears of getting pregnant and tell him you want to double up on protection. If he says no, you're allowed to say you're not comfortable having sex with only a condom as protection if that's how you feel.
Make sure you emphasise the fact that sex, and baby names are usually the space where one no means you can't go ahead with it. Tell him you want birth control and a condom. If he says no ask him about a vasectomy.
It might be worth you looking into BC where you get a shot instead of tablets, just incase he tries to mess with them. You can't trust anyone that tries to force you to have sex without a condom when you're not comfortable.
Find out who the wife is and who her boss is so you can inform them both. Most businesses aren't happy to misuse of company property.
Hey the number of singe of those friends and ask them to put her up for a while
Than I can also judge you for not believing something.
As I said. I don't on-line in a western society. While some things are naked to grasp for some people (mostly western Europe and North America), for the rest of the world it's pretty common. It's not 2+2=5.
Like, we've been through shit. We've had communism, imperialism, socialism, dictatorships and most recently democracies.
Here people are used to not believing the government. To us, democracy is just the latest system. You get almost the same, but in a more polite way. Except when it's shared with bombs above our heads.
So the concept of a conspiracy over here is not just a belief. You kinda see it every day. Maybe on a smaller scale, but it's here. It's not even a conspiracy, it's a practice.
It's never a good idea to stay in a relationship on the basis that the other person might change. Because, let's face it, change is very very hot. Not only that, it might simply not happen, or it might happen too slow, or it might not happen in the way you had hoped, etc. It's by far more likely to lead to more resentments than any positive outcome.
So honestly, it sounds like it's better to break up with her.
Snore
Your boyfriend does not understand basic anatomy. Vaginas are designed to have whole-ass babies shoved through them and they go back to their normal size; having sex every day with an average human penis has absolutely no effect whatsoever on the size of your vaginal canal. Getting “looser” over time is 100% a misogynistic myth and it is simply not accurate. There is nothing wrong with your vagina.
There IS something wrong with your boyfriend. He’s lazy, cruel, and selfish. He’s blaming his own sexual dysfunction on you instead of turning his attention inward and considering the possibility that he is responsible for his own anatomy. The more he can make this your fault, the more he can rely on guilt and pressure to force you into doing what he wants you to do.
At the end of the day, this is simple. Your boyfriend is perfectly happy for you to feel physical pain and emotional shame as long as his penis is getting what it wants. You deserve better.
Pick yourself because he sure as hell is picking himself. He doesn’t care about you because someone who cares about you wouldn’t pick one of the most important days of your life to make all about themselves when he can set another day for his wedding.
Updateme!
A text saying she needs an STI test, notes on your windscreen, grainy pictures. It sounds more like someone's tryna mess with your relationship.
Thank you. I appreciated reading this. It just sucks. I am proud of myself for walking away this time, it shows me I at least did make some progress after I exited my last relationship
Yeah, still her fault, right?
Why would you be “seeing” someone for 7 years..
Op, this. This. And all of this.
Ah, so you're just a bigoted shitheap who thinks only Christian things are “correct”.
I think you have this women on a pedestal. You’ve said she hasn’t done this often. Your in a semi open relationship.
So what is the deal? Is she a 10 and you feel your not worthy?
Take her off the pedestal. Your equal. If she crossed a boundary then don’t let her rug sweep it. Call it for what it is. Also, if you stay with her, go over your boundaries again.
Not normal behaviour at all, my boyfriend is 20 and his instagram feed is memes and cars pretty much no very hot women anywhere. He also has a group chat with his friends and some of the single guys will sometimes send naked women but my boyfriend never interacts and always lets me know in case i stumbled across those. I find that quite immature at the age of 27 to be acting this way while being in a relationship. MAJOR ?
“Dad, I love you very much, and I think Alex is a wonderful woman and great for you. I fully support your relationship and recognize she is your family. But I do not feel a familial bond towards her yet. I am sorry that this upsets both of you. That is not my intention.”
This takes time. You are an adult. You don’t mention living with them. It makes sense you don’t feel bonded to her as a family member yet.
Not everyone has friends like this. This is not normal with my guy friends.
Do you want to on-line like this for the rest of your life?
Um…I get that you're a teen with raging hormones…but why the theatrics?? You could have just said “Its more difficult to just stay friends than I realized, and my feelings aren't changing. I think its best if we don't hang out or talk anymore.”
You know. Like a rational human being instead of deciding to go scorched earth for some misplaced sense of honor? Like seriously you decided emotional manipulation was the way to go instead of just using your words?
He’s now told you who he is: BELIEVE HIM. This is a big red flag and a sign of future and present abuse. I (62F) advise that you learn the lesson about yourself this has to teach you and get on with your life; without him. Much love to you. You can do better by just being without a partner if this is all you find. Love yourself most!
So if he’s sat on the sofa and I come out of the next room behind him. I can see he’s on Snapchat but he instantly comes off it. He’s not really on his phone when I’m next to him. He rarely leaves his phone lying around. We have this relationship where we keep our things as our things which I’m happy with. So we don’t know each others passwords/share location etc..
Agreed.
Agreed.
If you stay it will eventually turn into loneliness anyways. You know he isn't what you want, isn't what you respect, isn't what makes you feel confident in yourself. You will become roommates, which is it's own twist on loneliness. It's not fair to either of you that you continue saying ILY.
Being alone isn't the goal, being apart from somebody you disrespect is the goal. Finding the right person starts with being the right person. Saying an empty ILY isn't good for anybody including yourself. You already are alone, the “leap” is in being honest about that to yourself. Leave him and start the next unknown chapter of your life, this one's over.
Shitty friend for not understanding
You’ve dated 3 weeks. He raised the topic right off the bat. If this is such a hugely upsetting deal for you, stop dating him.
People who have to “hate” every ex and erase them entirely are immature. He sounds emotionally mature, kind, and truthful. This is a you problem.
Damn. I just found this googling but this is erilee close to my situation
Thank you so much, I definitely will and I already feel better. 🙂 I also heard these crushes usually do not last that long and already did an analysis of why it might have happened and what might be missing in our relationship and will definitely talk to my fiance about some aspects that we can work on.
??????? he recorded her without her consent then proceeded to post multiple videos all over the internet over a long period of time. if her employers/friends stumbled across his collection on reddit, her life would be ruined. make a criminal out of someone they obviously otherwise are deeply in love with???? he IS a criminal LMFAO, it doesn’t matter how good of a boyfriend he was if he did something as egregious as this.
this is one of the worst things i’ve read today. i genuinely hope you didn’t read the entire post or something. i don’t understand how you can have “enough” of people telling her to get away from this horrendous person. good day.
No need to apologize. You're in a really tough spot, and I promise you, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have been there. The fear of leaving the relationship, the fear of the unknown, it's all very overwhelming. You sound like you're going through it, and all I can say is that you need to do what you think is best for you. But you're young, too. I remember relationships at that age and feeling like we'd be together forever, and also feeling like my world was over when the relationship inevitably ended. Things can and will get better, you just need to put the emphasis on learning to love and take care of yourselves individually before trying to save each other.
She's going as a caretaker, and presumably OP also needs a hotel room and is getting one anyway. I wouldn't expect her to foot the bill for accommodation.
Oh, just the comments where you said you’re planning to ask your brother to take her on weekends & that if someone else can be a better parent for her that that’d be good.
If you take the hall pass it will forever damage your relationship. Do not do it. Or,she might not be serious and is just testing to see if you'll take it.
Better for you to figure out why things have died in the bedroom. Has her figure changed substantially since she had children? Weight gain can absolutely affect your ability to get aroused or want her sexually.
I mean she said she’s bad with financies and wants to give me access to all her bank accounts etc so I can manage them better. She has adhd so she forgets to pay bills etc and pays late fees and I’m the opposite financially
I mean she said she’s bad with financies and wants to give me access to all her bank accounts etc so I can manage them better. She has adhd so she forgets to pay bills etc and pays late fees and I’m the opposite financially
Oh hell no. Do not tolerate this disgusting behavior. Do you really want to be with someone so revolting and disrespectful?
Thanks for the advice.
I’ve added more information on other comments but to respond to you as well:
there are no sex toys that I’m aware of. I’m very trustful of her, i don’t have any proof but there have been a couple of instances were i’ve been doubtful.
Also, something i didn’t mention before:
she had a wart in the pubic area that she got removed with a Gynecologist. She told me that the gynecologist was “weirded” out because it wasn’t (according to the gynecologist) an STD/STI.
That was a few months ago, she got another ward again a few days ago roughly in the same spot.
Not a doctor, so I’m not entirely sure if this is exclusively related to a sexual encounter
Cat people are fucking weird
I agree with you there, it sounds like he wants the title instead of the commitment. People like him give non-certificate (for lack of a better term) marriages a bad rap.
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