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Tiny Caitlin, 23 y.o.
Location: California, United States
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What happened? Did you catch them?
Then y’all relationship isn’t gonna work.if you’re not attracted to your partner.i think you should have an honest conversation with him and then go your separate ways
stuck in a career she cannot stand
So she wants to be a SAHM? And you will provide for her?
she makes it known that its her house
Do you believe that's how a loving person should behave? Looks like she's training you like a dog.
I think you should get some time and place alone to very carefully think if you are ready to always do what she wants.
He sounds like a his conning you.
This post is way too small and you don’t really give enough information for anyone to properly analyze the situation. But I am gonna try anyways
To start you two both are young and both of your maturity levels feel very apparent despite how small the post is. It is weird to have the tinder app or to be okay with guys texting flirty messages when your dating someone else.
But here’s my question. Are you guys actually in a relationship? And when I say that, I mean is she actually into being in a relationship with you? Cause honestly, it more just sounds like you guys are in a fling that won’t last long
Then isn't that a small price to pay?
no… no you should not. you need to break it off, and block him. Don't unblock him, don't give him a 3rd of 4th chance… he's shown you exactly who he is. Its only been a year and it sounds like you two are constantly fighting and he's constantly threatening to cheat. Why would you want to commit to that type of behavior. when someone shows you who they are… believe them.. and he's shown you that he is manipulative, childish, selfish, can't respect boundaries, thinks he's better than you…. its all about control. He doesn't care what you want, he wants someone he can control. Why would you want to put up with that?
And no, these behaviors won't go away if you get married.. they will just change.. get married and it will be something else. And is that really what you want… like the most unromantic marriage every.. “oh we got married because he was emotionally abusive and so I gave in and married him because he said he would stop being emotionally abusive if I just married him”
Guy is like a field of red flags.. you know it.
So many things wrong with what you've done & you don't sound as if you regret any of it.
You need a paternity test.
Option 2. Contract: never go into a business without a legal contact. You can help with funding providing you get a monthly balanced statement and percentage of said business also a return on your investment but you're only helping to finance only. Due to how your finances are established.
10:1 he wants you to join your funds so he can have access to your money and it's not really about starting a business.
Contract contract contract!!!!
We met at an art gallery and she told me what she did for work. To clear things up for everyone
I'll be honest, your wife sounds like she's on her way out or trying to sabotage the relationship. Maybe there is something else going on w/her too. Therapy may be beneficial. However, there is something in your writing that makes me feel as though you might not be the easiest person to online with. There is a neediness about you, and it may be pushing her away. Now, my interpretation of you viewing needy may be based upon my own experiences/inadequacies.
So why are you engaged?
Stranger things have happened. I'm a woman saying this, but some women will do anything to get what they want. He may have been the most stable option, and he said no kids til marriage so she stuck it out. I could be wrong, but that's how the post reads to me.
OP you're young and while you seem very mature and very confident in your ability to read these situations you can't man's these decisions based solely on your parents. You seem to have a good grasp of the situation.
The factors here are much bigger than if your parents approve. First: the allegations. If they involve in any way children, sex, photos, correspondence, or videos then that isn't something that goes away. Sexual crimes even excluding children can often have long term consequences on a person. If it's truly “victimless” then they wouldn't have his electronics for evidence still.
Second: they're keeping your boyfriends stuff and gave everyone else theirs back. That does mean that there's more evidence– and more involvement– on his things than anyone else's. I'd question what he is saying to you especially if he denies any wrong doing. Even a $10 scam can show a person's true colors.
Third: depending on the type of allegations the offense could be on a line of patterns of behavior. That means that it could either be a sign of a more complex personal trait such as kleptomania or sociopathic tendencies, or it has a high chance of repeat offenses, or it has a high chance of escalating to usually a more severe crime.
Additionally, how he is treating you during this is important. Is he trying to brush away what's going on or is he sitting down with you and talking about it? Does he show genuine remorse or is it just when you seem concerned? Has he made any steps to right the wrongs?
Finally, if he is found guilty, is there jail time you'd be willing to wait out?
Taking all that into consideration is a good place to start on your decision. Its only your decision in the end, and it's OK to feel uncertain about it, but these sorts of things will have a long lasting impact. Especially if he's convicted, guilty but settled out of court, or if the local news catches wind of it.
Stay safe and take your time thinking it over if you feel safe enough to do so.
I asked him out first, I plan most of our dates. I want him to be romantic and repeat the gesture. It's been my dream to be proposed to and I'm not going to take that away from myself.
I have a few thoughts on this. You are not really going to be able to tell her relationship is going to go after three weeks Because the relationship is in its honeymoon phase essentially. What the two of you will eventually have to do is figure out where all of this is going. If both of you are having a positive influence on one another that's all good in the short term. What she may come to realize is that as you age friends become rather transactional and transient, that's all based on mutual interest.
I tend to agree with some of the people who have posted here for very different reasons. There are always exceptions to the rule but there's an interesting study on age gap and marriage this shows a correlation in age difference and divorce rate. Now I'm going to round this up because you're closer to the middle number and just state that you have an approximately 39% chance, should you get married, of an ending in a divorce. Generally speaking 50% of first marriages don't work out, second marriages and third marriages fair even worse. So, for the benefit of both of you, going forward you really need to not only work on yourselves but work on a partnership if you have any hope of making this work.
21 years old is not almost a child or anything close to a child. It is not “practically a kid” or anything remotely close to a kid, but an adult with adult responsibilities that may differ slightly from a 28 year old but they are still adult responsibilities. One of the major problems we have in society – the ever expanding infantilization of adult human beings.
I know some of those forever a child narrative types that are in their 30s and 40s now and guess what they have in common they're all completely miserable with a long list situationships and failed relationships. They tend to be in a constant crisis cycle the anxiety and depression that is their own making. Why? Because they never wanted to grow up and they had all sorts of people on the Internet telling them they never had to.
No, but if he ever expects her to online with him and progress their relationship then it's kinda important to know if she utterly hates the place. That would be an indication of incompatibility and they should probably just end it now if that's the case. I'm not suggesting he put her name on the mortgage, just that he gets her opinions on the house (whether he takes them into consideration or not is his business).
It's obvious they are not on the same page about the future as he's clearly very casual while she's actually considering their future. The house is more a symptom of the actual issue which is a lack of communication about their future plans together (or more likely future break up).
Block her and move on OP. There are a far better people out there than her.
I'm sure you'll read about here and her 3 kids from three baby daddies in years to come but by then she'll be someone else's problem.
“Smoking together daily” is something that people tend to do when they are young and don't feel the pull of a more adult life (or, paradoxically, when they are old, retired, and no longer have any Fs to give).
Maybe your boyfriend is growing up and wants something more / different.
That's the problem. My feelings for my boyfriend haven't changed at all. I just developed a new crush on top of that. But thanks for the advice.
You need to go to emergency therapy. Whatever you do, don't blame yourself. That's what I did and it took me 15 years to dig myself out of it after. If therapy is impossible, lean on your support system. There are resources online detailing how to care for suicide survivors, look into those until he wakes up. Don't assign blame, not to you and not to him. You'll get through this, just take it one day at a time. I really hope he wakes up soon, I'm sending you all the internet hugs.
I, SINGLE mom of teens found out my LONG TERM PARTNER…”
Uhh
If it were me, I’d say it’s time to stop playing nice and start being rude to this woman. No more guilt trips, no more inane questions. I would make it my mission to make it so she didn’t feel comfortable talking to me anymore. You make me uncomfortable and don’t listen? Now I make you uncomfortable til you go away.
Friends with benefits. Most people have a very clear understanding of what that means. It means you're friends who occasionally bone……… And that's it.
He's just fine. He understands the terms. You did too, at first. Now your expectations are changing, and that's on you.
You're not necessarily wrong for developing a stronger attachment. That's always a possibility. Where you're wrong is expecting him to somehow subconsciously detect that attachment and accommodate it.
Here's a hot tip that will make dealing with men in general less frustrating….
We. Are. Oblivious.
Don't expect to communicate with a man using subtle hints and innuendo. If you expect our understanding, we expect you to lay it out in so many words. If the two of you established this relationship as fwb, then that's how it will remain, right up until you have a conversation about it that plainly and clearly redefines it.
If you're starting to catch feelings, that's okay, but you don't get to hold it against him unless you've looked him in the eyes and said, in very straightforward wording, you're starting to catch feelings. You also have to explain, again in very straightforward wording, how that's changed your expectations. If you haven't done that, then you have no right to harbor any animosity.
It's also okay for him to reject you, so be prepared for that, but the conversation has to happen… or you have to find a way to be okay with him being interested in other people.
Man wake up. Your wife lied to you and is in contact with a shunned cheater. Start being honest with yourself. Even in the most innocent scenario your wife is acting completely inappropriate. But that's just the best case. Start being careful, watch your wife. Start investigating, but don't alert her. Gather proof.
Vulnerability is sexy. Lighten up.
I did but he just apologises and I drop it. And he does it again.
It’s okay, we all gotta vent. Kind of different but I was cheated on like a month ago and had to end my 8yr relationship.
It’s the worst pain I’ve ever been through and I am painfully lonely now. I’ve always had a hot time connecting with people and after losing her I don’t even want to. I feel so empty and fake.
I’ve been really struggling, but It comes and goes. Just be sad for a while. When you’re ready, reach out to some old friends or get into some old hobbies. Idk, I haven’t figured it out yet, but it’ll be ok, eventually.
There are some really cool strangers on the internet and you’ll find soo many people who have been through the same pain. Music helps
This is true, I been with my BF almost 11 years, he has been desperately wanting me to accept his marriage proposals and I refuse! We recently got a house together and honestly I am happy. I don’t need to get married to be happy. If OP really wants a marriage I think it’s time to move on. Some people just don’t want to get married but are happy staying as how they are.
He's hesitant to even discuss having kids with me because my family is latino.
being inconsiderate towards guests
Mate, reality check time. It's a baby's birthday at 11 am in the morning.
The only way a person could actually be put out by not having alcohol at that, is if they are a full fledged alcoholic.?
The fact he has you even questioning this, makes me think you need a little bit more distance from him so you can get a more normal perspective.
And by weird we mean that guy has a drinking problem.
Self reflection goes a long way
You’re right, it really is a him problem and Im trying to ignore these red flags about him. Im going to think about it, thanks