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I think that when this relationship comes to an end, you should take some time to look at yourself and evaluate your actions and thinking.
The way you are doing things, you're not going to be able to have a healthy relationship with someone. And that's an important thing to look at: “What can I do or change about my methods or way of thinking to improve my self-esteem and treat people better when they are deserving of it?”
Just because she may seem too good to be true, is a bad justification for your actions. In fact, you took for granted something really great that you could've had. People are allowed to have friends of the opposite sex. So do you. And the fact you're having a naked time dealing with this shows you that you have a lot of insecurity. About what?
About yourself. You think you aren't worth being loved or maybe you don't deem yourself beautiful/handsome.
But here's the thing, someone who loves you already considers you handsome and beautiful.