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Yeah, great point in establishing early boundaries, I can’t disagree with that at all.
I guess that could lead to a positive conversation about what you believe is ‘acceptable friendly affection’ vs what she believes is acceptable and OP can evaluate from there.
some jobs are really not lenient with stuff like this. not that it’s right..
Thank you and you’re right. I’m a big over thinker so it’s easier said than done, but I’m trying !
You can still tell you that you expected a gift though, or a card. That’s not telling him what to buy, but to buy something at least ?
Hey,
Since we bumped into them, he has spent the whole day ranting about them, his relationship with their daughter, which has led him to ranting about his previous ex's.
I have offered to watch movies and tried to take his mind off things, move the conversation on and asked him if he can stop as we could be doing things together instead of this… But nothings worked & it's been 15+ hours…
I'm just not sure if he's freaking out and trying to over explain everything, but his reaction is making me feel like maybe he has unresolved feelings/issues wrapped up in some of his previous relationships or if I'm overthinking things if that makes sense?
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I’m not always great at greetings and small talk. It could simply be a personality thing. You mentioned your bf isn’t close with his family. Neither am i (parents only) religious beliefs, but if he has some trauma there i would totally understand struggling to get close to a parental figure.
Honestly tho your parents just see you as young and don’t expect this to last. They will probably be right too.
For fucks sake he hasn't even had the surgery yet! He still has a vagina down there, so he was essentially expecting OP to ignore her own sexuality and engage in lesbian sex. You can't just spring that on someone literally last minute and expect it to go well.
That doesn’t not means they are racist but he doesn’t even try the efforts to make the minor change to bring Asian bf to his friends event
I’ll look up grey rocking. You’re probably right. I’m trying to gain control back by doing that…
She is. Thank you.
I wouldn't say I'm an introvert. I'm actually known among friends to be extremely sociable and good at making friends. The point is I can't go out every day, I can't socialize every day, I need time to myself because I have a lot of interests that are best done solo. I'm never bored by my own company. My girlfriend on the other hand can go on a trip to Italy WITH ME and then at the end blame ME for not visiting “enough number of cities or cultural attractions”.
I'm already at the point that I'm so drained that I simply don't want to spend ANY time with her. Because honestly it's not fun anymore, I find her company boring and irritating.
You guys tried something together… you didn't like it… now you're going to dump her over your poor performance? I bet she's devastated.
Is your bf single?. I’m a guy tho
Me being generally paranoid for no reason other than anxiety
Me being generally paranoid for no reason other than anxiety
Tell him you need to talk. If he doesn’t respond then move on. That’s really all you can do.
I think if you tell him exactly like your post is written. It may help him to understand more. It is very well written and explains your side well. Good luck.
Had to go to the bottom for the most reasonable take lol
Update me
I’m confused how you’re stuck between med school or your bf… you’re not even done with your Bachelor’s yet.
Let’s take things one step at a time dear
Hun this is super controlling behavior. I was a lot like him at his age. Anytime my then girlfriend was out of my sight she was of course cheating or doing something awful (like dancing on a table, horrors).
I wouldn’t miss this opportunity if I were you
Your girlfriend is cheating on you and is very disrespectful. I will break up with her.
this guy is going to give you an anal fissure
Uh…I got nothin. Except to say if this is your line, and you feel it was crossed, and that you don’t think you can communicate that in a way that will make it unlikely to happen again then leaving would likely be the better option.
i never want to control what my boyfriend can and cannot do but i wanted to talk about some boundaries i had for this.
Yeah, you having boundaries for his behavior or experiences is being controlling. I think you're being unreasonable. I do agree it seems he zoned out on you during the conversation; but it can be exhausting keeping pace with another person's anxiety.
Remember, the definition of anxiety is fear that is out of proportion to the threat. Irrational fear, in other words.
On his end, it's not that big an undertaking to look people up and try to apologize (maybe not personally but at least sending a message).
Oh yours, you don't need to forgive him for anything. You can accept and thank him for his apology, but it's not your duty to forgive him if you don't want to. I do think one day you may want to forgive him in your heart, but is not in any way owed forgiveness – no one is. And anyone who would demand forgiveness of someone isn't in it for the right reasons, it's more about their guilty conscience rather than doing right by the people who have been wronged.
Maybe be honest with him and say exactly what you said – you want to forgive him, but also maybe not. And he will need to accept that uncertainty.
There's never a “good” time to leave someone. If you fall into the mentality of it's a bad time because of this, there will always be something else coming up later.
Do what's best for yourself.
You're supposed to be his gf, but he spends his time with other women without a thought about how this might hurt you. No, you can't trust him. Don't set yourself up for more heartache.
Different people have different reasons for stuff like this, for example, i personally wouldn't just come to my parents and tell them i'm in a relationship, i wouldn't mention it until they ask, i wouldn't go out of my way to hide it, but i wouldn't mention it myself either.
As for your bf hiding it from his parents, maybe that's just one of the topics he doesn't like talking to his parents about, maybe they'll insist on meeting you, and he's not a fan of the idea, maybe his parents will make a huge deal about it, it could be a lot of things, really you should just communicate it with him, explain that you're confused about it, or whatever emotion fits better, and see what's going on
Yes, either that or it's some sort of fetish posting. There were several other very detailed fetish-like posts related to being a flight attendant and getting attention from male passengers.
Usually, if a poster's account says it was created months or years ago but there are no posts or comments in the history and it says they have comment and post karma, I usually check the deleted history.
I've seen quite a few posts doing that wherein the person was cheating but was accusing their partner of doing such, or was discussing their partner's suspicions without mentioning the fact they were warranted.
If I hadn't read her post history, I would have been legitimately alarmed by her partner's behavior and would view it as abusive and controlling. I still don't view it as healthy, but now the context makes a lot more sense. Regardless, if it's real or not, really they should just have no contact.