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Yeah the whole being able to deal with stuff in public vs not being able to deal with stuff in private is really concerning.
Mental illness can be difficult to deal with in a partner
Don't pretend, but don't say anything either. It's important they have their memories and you have your space. If you're asked why you're not looking distraught or reminiscing say 'everyone grieves in different ways, and this is my way'.
You are not insane. Just reading this made me feel gross. That would be a dealbreaker for me personally.
As a daughter of hoarders I can tell you that her parents living conditions are not a reflection on her. If anything it makes you a clean freak – if you’re uncomfortable hanging around the house though I would just gently guide visits to be out and about.