This reminds me of when my now husband spent our first Christmas together. I got him a video game I thought he’d enjoy. A few days later we went to Best Buy together and he was about to buy the same video game. I ended having to tell him I already got it for him because he was adamant he wanted to buy it. Lol
It doesn't sound like he's listening to you or respecting your choices, women get hair almost everywhere. It is a natural thing just like how he has hair on his body as well.
If this minor issue to him is a number 1 priority in his books? He needs to grow up. You deserve someone who will loves every inch of you with or without a tiny bit of hair
You guys are not compatible because you clearly have vastly different ideas about how partners behave in the world of social media.
While I don’t think your off base in your opinion that as someone in a relationship his activity can be harmful to that relationship, on the same token it’s wrong to stalk and argue with people about how they choose to interact as themselves on line.
This is one of those things that say you’re not compatible and you need to find someone who treats social media boundaries the same as you.
She's open to the idea of an open relationship. She didn't demand one. People who would be happy in polyamorous relationships can also be happy and fulfilled in monogamous ones.
Who said that I’m telling her who to meet and not to meet? We agreed that it’s inappropriate to meet the opposite gender in inappropriate hours specially in their flats. She said she thinks same as me. Her male bff had feelings to her in the past. So she clearly broke her words and my trust to her. It’s not good for the relationship not to set clear boundaries between you and your bff who had feelings to you and it’s even more not good for the relationship to hang out and a person place who’s waiting for the opportunity to fuck (her bff). So don’t tell me that I have issues. I never told her not to meet him. She met him by herself and went to his flat disrespecting herself and my feelings
Dude you fucked up. You fucked up for 6 long years. The wedding was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Let that poor woman be you are acting like she is a monsters while minimizing your mother's horrible actions, your lack of boundaries, your lack of spine to defend your partner from your mom and your enabling behaviour towards your mom.
She is done. You are not a victim here. Stop acting like one and let her be.
First of all…you were 16 when you started dating your bf. What the shit is this? You’re a kid. Which is why you also don’t know how to deal with the shit his brother said. My gosh this is terrible.
Jeez girl you need to break up and work on yourself. Never in a healthy partnership should one set ‘rules’ for the other. Being single is not the arse-end-of-nothing silly movies would have you believe, can actually be pretty good!
He's very insecure and gone down into a “poor me” hole. I'm assuming that he makes covert contracts with you and has expectations of you without expressing them and when you don't fulfill them he gets butt hurt and mopey.
Your response to him was brilliant. Either fix it and get better together or a total divorce. That whole emotional divorce thing is a manipulation.
Wait 2 more days and then text him, “Hey, Brian. (I’ve named him Brian). I’m just checking in because I was feeling a little insecure after not hearing back from you for a couple days. I wanted to make sure you’re doing ok.”
He’s 31 with a 21 year old, that is fundamentally quite creepy, as a 31 year old, 21 year olds look SO young.
Regardless of whether consent was given at the time, you’re absolutely right in saying that it’s wrong to keep these photos after he’s broken up with them. It’s also a blatant lie that he’s not using them.
He’s completely manipulating you, so much so that you’re justifying keeping them as ‘something to look back on’. That is not normal behaviour and you shouldn’t be accommodating it.
He’s demonstrating abusive behaviour, reminding you that he doesn’t need to be with you is trait of a narcissistic abuser.
You need to tell your mom. She needs to tell your ex's parents because this may well have been going on for a long time, which makes your dad a predator. Your ex may have been groomed.
This isn't really about fairness. You can leave him for any reason regardless if it's fair or not. Like him taking steroids. You've told him you're against it and I'm assuming you told him it's a deal breaker for you but hey maybe you didn't.
There really isn't a much you can do. The best thing is to be gentle, direct, and firm. Don't go into the whys too much because that will lead to fights and trying to argue the points. Just say that you care for her but no longer love her the way you used to and for both of you, the best thing would be to part ways.
Leaving you off the birth certificate doesn't curry her favor at all. The surname, other than to you, also doesn't matter legally. She has just as much right to carry on her name as you do yours.1
Dude, you're the one who keeps trying to make yourself feel better with this “defense” but cheaters are all scum. And you've gone from 1 “mistake” to two… so… I'm pretty sure you're a cheating pos times 2
Thanks for your reply. When we got married I quite honestly had a very messy view on relationships. It also doesn't help that I was raised involved in a church that encourages husband's to set down unhealthy boundaries. I'm sorting it out but this problem to me seemed like more of a lifestyle standard that we had somewhat agreed upon although I still had disagreament with his opinion and it somehow turned into a “boundaries” for him.
Y’know, someone doesn’t have to understand why you’re feeling something to take it seriously and care that you’re upset.
Does he have low self-esteem? Maybe! Is he an a-hole? Yep! Completely. And, this is on him to fix or not as he chooses. This is not a you problem. This is not something you’re responsible for.
You cannot fix him. That’s up to him.
So, if you leave him and he thinks he really is an a-hole? Good. He’d be right. Accurate assessment. He can learn from that or not. Up to him.
Anyone who needs to make their partner prove themselves is not someone who can be in a healthy relationship. That is not healthy, that is not fair, that is manipulative.
Healthy adults deal with insecurities by communicating and respecting each other.
And…you have absolutely no guarantee that he’s going to change if you stay? How do you know he’s not going to get worse instead of better if he knows you’ll put up with him acting like this? How do you know this is his worst? Maybe it’s his best. This is the honeymoon part of your relationship. That does not bode well for where it’s going to go if you stay.
It was very wrong for your mom to say 'she will never be her daughter.' That made this a do-or-die situation for the other mom. She had an opportunity to be the adult in the room and de-escalate an emotional situation, but she chose to say probably the worst thing you could in the situation, which blew it up. The only solution is to get your mom to apologize for saying such a hurtful thing.
Golly that’s a lot of words for “I keep giving my partner tons of reasons not to trust me, but somehow I’m the real victim.”
I dunno what’s wrong with you. It’s beyond my pay grade and you should probably talk to a therapist. But first step is to STOP DOING IT. Stop talking to people that you’re going to be inappropriate with if you can’t stop yourself from being inappropriate.
Yea 100% no acceptable Ever. No matter the reason. If your “No” around sex isn’t a complete sentence then he does not care about you, your feelings, or your autonomy.
Always a reason to break up. Always. No matter what.
I'm just going to be blunt..LEAVE… Period… He doesn't deserve you, Ave doesn't respect you…GTFO.
Well done man. You handled it maturely
This reminds me of when my now husband spent our first Christmas together. I got him a video game I thought he’d enjoy. A few days later we went to Best Buy together and he was about to buy the same video game. I ended having to tell him I already got it for him because he was adamant he wanted to buy it. Lol
That little text exchange spells it out pretty clear, my dude.
It doesn't sound like he's listening to you or respecting your choices, women get hair almost everywhere. It is a natural thing just like how he has hair on his body as well.
If this minor issue to him is a number 1 priority in his books? He needs to grow up. You deserve someone who will loves every inch of you with or without a tiny bit of hair
You guys are not compatible because you clearly have vastly different ideas about how partners behave in the world of social media.
While I don’t think your off base in your opinion that as someone in a relationship his activity can be harmful to that relationship, on the same token it’s wrong to stalk and argue with people about how they choose to interact as themselves on line.
This is one of those things that say you’re not compatible and you need to find someone who treats social media boundaries the same as you.
It does sound exhausting to have someone following your social media and constantly nagging you about it.
What advice are you looking for? You invaded his personal space and he blocked you. Nothing really to “do” about it.
So payment for sex now is a hoodie?
Man, I'm getting old.
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She's open to the idea of an open relationship. She didn't demand one. People who would be happy in polyamorous relationships can also be happy and fulfilled in monogamous ones.
Do they even want to what? What are they not doing?
After Christmas I know I need to have the talk with her
Who said that I’m telling her who to meet and not to meet? We agreed that it’s inappropriate to meet the opposite gender in inappropriate hours specially in their flats. She said she thinks same as me. Her male bff had feelings to her in the past. So she clearly broke her words and my trust to her. It’s not good for the relationship not to set clear boundaries between you and your bff who had feelings to you and it’s even more not good for the relationship to hang out and a person place who’s waiting for the opportunity to fuck (her bff). So don’t tell me that I have issues. I never told her not to meet him. She met him by herself and went to his flat disrespecting herself and my feelings
Dude you fucked up. You fucked up for 6 long years. The wedding was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Let that poor woman be you are acting like she is a monsters while minimizing your mother's horrible actions, your lack of boundaries, your lack of spine to defend your partner from your mom and your enabling behaviour towards your mom.
She is done. You are not a victim here. Stop acting like one and let her be.
If this guy even had 3 IQ points to his name he would just say he ran to the store to grab milk or something, lmao
First of all…you were 16 when you started dating your bf. What the shit is this? You’re a kid. Which is why you also don’t know how to deal with the shit his brother said. My gosh this is terrible.
She is a taker. Let Bob have her. Don’t answer the phone when she tries to come back to you. Good luck.
Jeez girl you need to break up and work on yourself. Never in a healthy partnership should one set ‘rules’ for the other. Being single is not the arse-end-of-nothing silly movies would have you believe, can actually be pretty good!
He's very insecure and gone down into a “poor me” hole. I'm assuming that he makes covert contracts with you and has expectations of you without expressing them and when you don't fulfill them he gets butt hurt and mopey.
Your response to him was brilliant. Either fix it and get better together or a total divorce. That whole emotional divorce thing is a manipulation.
Wait 2 more days and then text him, “Hey, Brian. (I’ve named him Brian). I’m just checking in because I was feeling a little insecure after not hearing back from you for a couple days. I wanted to make sure you’re doing ok.”
There’s plenty of red flags here OP.
He’s 31 with a 21 year old, that is fundamentally quite creepy, as a 31 year old, 21 year olds look SO young.
Regardless of whether consent was given at the time, you’re absolutely right in saying that it’s wrong to keep these photos after he’s broken up with them. It’s also a blatant lie that he’s not using them.
He’s completely manipulating you, so much so that you’re justifying keeping them as ‘something to look back on’. That is not normal behaviour and you shouldn’t be accommodating it.
He’s demonstrating abusive behaviour, reminding you that he doesn’t need to be with you is trait of a narcissistic abuser.
It's also changeable
This is a red flag OP. Just in case you’re wearing rose colored glasses, this is a HUGE red flag.
You need to tell your mom. She needs to tell your ex's parents because this may well have been going on for a long time, which makes your dad a predator. Your ex may have been groomed.
I am so sorry.
I think you need to touch some grass
This isn't really about fairness. You can leave him for any reason regardless if it's fair or not. Like him taking steroids. You've told him you're against it and I'm assuming you told him it's a deal breaker for you but hey maybe you didn't.
There really isn't a much you can do. The best thing is to be gentle, direct, and firm. Don't go into the whys too much because that will lead to fights and trying to argue the points. Just say that you care for her but no longer love her the way you used to and for both of you, the best thing would be to part ways.
Good luck.
This is sadly common.
Unfortunately, women are also judged harshly for partners and may not always feel emotionally safe admitting to previous sexual interactions.
The most annoying thing she does, imo, was pronounce depression wrong. Everything else is bad, but that's just unforgivable.
There's a reason a good person was called “God-fearing”.
Leaving you off the birth certificate doesn't curry her favor at all. The surname, other than to you, also doesn't matter legally. She has just as much right to carry on her name as you do yours.1
Dude, you're the one who keeps trying to make yourself feel better with this “defense” but cheaters are all scum. And you've gone from 1 “mistake” to two… so… I'm pretty sure you're a cheating pos times 2
Thanks for your reply. When we got married I quite honestly had a very messy view on relationships. It also doesn't help that I was raised involved in a church that encourages husband's to set down unhealthy boundaries. I'm sorting it out but this problem to me seemed like more of a lifestyle standard that we had somewhat agreed upon although I still had disagreament with his opinion and it somehow turned into a “boundaries” for him.
Y’know, someone doesn’t have to understand why you’re feeling something to take it seriously and care that you’re upset.
Does he have low self-esteem? Maybe! Is he an a-hole? Yep! Completely. And, this is on him to fix or not as he chooses. This is not a you problem. This is not something you’re responsible for.
You cannot fix him. That’s up to him.
So, if you leave him and he thinks he really is an a-hole? Good. He’d be right. Accurate assessment. He can learn from that or not. Up to him.
Anyone who needs to make their partner prove themselves is not someone who can be in a healthy relationship. That is not healthy, that is not fair, that is manipulative.
Healthy adults deal with insecurities by communicating and respecting each other.
And…you have absolutely no guarantee that he’s going to change if you stay? How do you know he’s not going to get worse instead of better if he knows you’ll put up with him acting like this? How do you know this is his worst? Maybe it’s his best. This is the honeymoon part of your relationship. That does not bode well for where it’s going to go if you stay.
Please don’t stay.
Well that escalated quickly.
It was very wrong for your mom to say 'she will never be her daughter.' That made this a do-or-die situation for the other mom. She had an opportunity to be the adult in the room and de-escalate an emotional situation, but she chose to say probably the worst thing you could in the situation, which blew it up. The only solution is to get your mom to apologize for saying such a hurtful thing.
Golly that’s a lot of words for “I keep giving my partner tons of reasons not to trust me, but somehow I’m the real victim.”
I dunno what’s wrong with you. It’s beyond my pay grade and you should probably talk to a therapist. But first step is to STOP DOING IT. Stop talking to people that you’re going to be inappropriate with if you can’t stop yourself from being inappropriate.
Yea 100% no acceptable Ever. No matter the reason. If your “No” around sex isn’t a complete sentence then he does not care about you, your feelings, or your autonomy.
Always a reason to break up. Always. No matter what.
I think he is lazy and comfortable coasting. That’s what he sought in a partner. She was that and now changed. They need to split.
It's NOT the “broken family” that causes trauma!
It's adults with responsabilities, who act as if they had NONE.
Please, dont let your past make you stay in this unbearable marriage, if you come to a point where you just can't take anymore!
Btw… where is your daughter, when her mother booz… umh….influences?
And suuuuure …. it's about kiddies security she takes her photos down.
You took quite some bs from her.
It's NOT the “broken family” that causes trauma!
It's adults with responsabilities, who act as if they had NONE.
Please, dont let your past make you stay in this unbearable marriage, if you come to a point where you just can't take anymore!
Btw… where is your daughter, when her mother booz… umh….influences?
And suuuuure …. it's about kiddies security she takes her photos down.
You took quite some bs from her.
You shouldn't.
Show your mom.