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Would you like to know if you were in his wife place ? I am sure you would … you should tell her or he will keep cheating on her with another girls not only you .
Perhaps I should say there can be a difference. You're right, very often it does just boil down to “no, but I'm not being direct for whatever reason.” It could be that she's just tired of being pestered and would be down if the circumstance arose.
But it's also (probably more) likely that she just isn't interested in it anymore, but for ${reasons} doesn't want to deal with saying it outright. Reasons could be that he won't let it go or other things.
I think they need to have that conversation, but at this point I'm not sure how he can 'force' it without it coming off as more of the same?
Thank you for your well thought response. I think I'm going to try an make a commitment to not contacting her. I think you're right about it being some sort of loyalty test. I do think she gets some sort of satisfaction from the games and drama.
This would have been solved if you had called her sister or whatever and asked them on the spot.