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Maybe start off small. “Mom, what if I went to community college for a year until I figure out what I want to do?” “What if I just worked full time for a year before college?” Etc… Feel out her responses. Offer little crumbs of alternatives that you could work with. Have a plan for what you WILL do instead of just what you WON'T do. Then prepare for a big upheaval, if she's as controlling as you make it seem.