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He shouldn’t hold it over your head and instead just cap it off at fwb.
That sounds great though, as you weren't saying no. 6 months is really early and it's nice you can both have a discussion about it xxx
Well you got this info. Stick with the relationship and the first red flag, come back here. Don't ignore them.
He's the kind of dude that rips the legs off of small creatures to watch them suffer. Honestly I would question my entire being if I realized I had dated someone that was this horrible.
I always think about this and nobody talks about it . He’s a public safety hazard.
Well still like OP said 10 years is a long time and who knows what has changed with either of you so it’s best to be careful in this situation don’t just go in with blind love/lust that’s how you get yourself hurt
Stop dropping hints, be direct. Tell her you want a romantic relationship. You're torturing yourself for no reason.
if you move in with him he will hit you eventually. and “eventually” means “within a few months”.
Ask her to get married. On your wedding day attend a concert instead.
I absolutely hate graduations but life isn't about always prioritizing my likes. If someone prioritizes any kind of concert over their SO's graduation it's just sad.
A little mustard
What? I said it won’t fly if she tried to continue the “ungrateful” spiel, which is why I said I hoped she would apologize before it got to the point where I’d have to intervene.
What did your FIL actually do…? You haven’t given us any details at all.
Sounds like your friend is being incredibly childish and should be grateful that nothing worse happened.
I think things changed for me when I stopped hoping for someone better and sought out to have peace by myself and IF something better came that would add to my life, awesome. But it’s not what I’ll need to feel joy.
So far he has given you hopes without really meaning to and is even now refusing to set a timeline.
Meanwhile, you have a biological deadline while he can choose to have kids in 20+ years from now if he so wishes, which makes his stance quite selfish.
If you do get pregnant, are you sure he will pull his weight or is it going to be “you wanted it, now you take care of the kids”?
All these things are worth discussing and solving before you resume trying.
Exactly. I thought this was about porn. Then i thought the child was kidnapped. Now i wonder if the mom is even dead. I also have never met a woman in my life that waits over ten years to check out some boxes in the attic. None of this adds up.
Oh my god…. That song. No wonder she got in her car, drove off, and blocked you. That’s not a reminiscing song. It’s an “I miss you song. I still love you.”
If your bf wanted you there he would make it happen.
He’s dishonest. Calls it a guys night out when it’s obviously not. You’re suspicions were right about the girl and now he’s lying trying to get out of it.
He seems like a shitty guy who doesn’t care about your feelings. I’d let him go.
He cheated. He lied. Slept around. He hurt her. For years and years. It was weird asf.
I just want to say that “the” problem implies that there is only one problem. It is possible that both you and your mother are problems. Degrees will vary. Manifestations will vary. Problems may be separate or related.
I bring this up so that you don't fall prey to logical fallacies in your analyses. And for starters, that false dichotomy needs to go.
Best wishes in finding solutions and/or growth.
Let's break this down. You asked him to stop. He tells you you're wrong for being offended (which you're not), and he won't stop. You have two choices: stay and put up with it or leave and don't.
“She's known about this and didn't have a problem”
What's changed now?
Stop making him go and see your family. When they act that badly, and not just your stepdad but mum as well, they need to accept they’ve caused this.
” or even hint that her mood might be effected by what’s going on her body. ” Jesus christ bro, That's literally rule #1. This is all pretty normal stuff so it shouldn't be surprising. Just do like everyone else and throw chocolate her way and hold strong for a few days.
If she's gonna make up her mind about you cheating without you doing anything like that, you can't stop her, I'm afraid. She's letting her past dictate her feelings, which is understandable to some degree, but it's also something that may ruin her future relationships. Unfortunately you have no control over her feelings, she has to get over them herself.
Hopefully they mean without any fuss.
Yeah I already see a councillor and have requested we see a therapist together at least 10 times and he’ll agree but then when it comes time to it he bails/says it’s too expensive.
Oh yeah that thing, I remember that thing.
There’s no making that right.
My FIL is the same way. He’s rude to servers too, which is one of my biggest pet peeve. Luckily he lives several states away so I don’t have to see him that often. Lately though, I just give it right back to him. I’m done being polite to him, if he is a dick to me, I’m a dick right back. My wife isn’t controlled by him as your gf is to her father.
You look like you don’t love yourself enough. Love yourself more. Think about the person you love the most (neither of the assholes in this story) and if they were in your position what advice would you be telling them?
I don’t understand why marriage would change this dynamic. You living together with or without marriage doesn’t change your living expenses.
u/the-mirrors-truth raises great points. You two need to agree together where you are going to live from a cost-of-living perspective.
Sounds like your marriage now has an expiration date. Good luck.
Info: Why had you been sleeping in seperate room? Why does she give you dirty looks?
Sorry, but it feels like you haven't given us the full story here. It also sounds to me like she may have depression.
I choose my dog too
This was rape. Your bf raped you. It happened to me and the guy got me pregnant even after I took plan b. It’s hard to accept that someone you care about has violated you, but you need to get away from this guy as fast as possible. He will ruin your fucking life.
Have you discussed this with your ex?
Does he behave this way with her?
Does she know why he is so angry?
But how is that clear?
Do everything you can to put distance between y’all. Go no contact. Have a support group. Sleep with someone else. Make him break up with you. Easier than you think
I think if everybody here stops for a minute and thinks about all of the pornography that is on the Internet that they might watch and never ever want to behave some insight that just because someone looks at pictures does not necessarily mean that they behave in that way
I'm not saying it's OK I think that you need to talk to your husband and I think that he needs some therapy
But to simply make an association that because people look at pictures that they act on the things that they do is absurd
For better or worse men are jerking off all the time to images of women getting raped
This lots of people get off watching bdsm who would never do it Lots of people are searching pornography sites with titles like teenagers and incest who are not behaving in those ways
I don't know what's up with your husband
I do think calling the police is absurd
And I think you need to talk with him
And I've said this about 500 times in this community if you snoop you get what you deserve
I’d take being loyal and respectful to my partner over being part of the 92% of open relationships that fail 🤷♂️
Thanks for this. I think he got super excited and it was spur of the moment. We are usually quite good about communicating feelings and boundaries, so this really caught me off guard. I'm so sad but starting to calm down.
thank you for this suggestion, I did actually go to my first al anon meeting on Sunday, it was incredible to hear strangers say things I have thought and felt. I think taking a break may not be the answer and we will fall back into habits and complacency. I am absolutely going to do some reflection on my role in all of it. Thank you again
I think you are right to be concerned. He lied about a very important thing. I sure I had talked more about finances before getting married. It was tricky because I had a lot more than he did. It’s not what ultimately ended things but he destroyed my credit rating. When you start mixing finances by living together, financial responsibility is a very big deal. I would urge you to think seriously about that. He lied to you. Not good.
This was a day one problem. Would never change anything.
If it could, OP would have done it.
But it’s understandable you wish it could.
Do u mean cheat u said chat