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Mar, ía Alfonsina, 24 y.o.
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Should I say anything to her tomorrow?
Yeah. I’m out after that. I have no desire to try and come back from that with anyone.
I hear that you’re insecure, but I think your line of thought ‘what are they trying to achieve,’ is a bit unfair for you to ascribe to the person you describe as your loving partner. Presumably they’re just sharing about things that happened to them that feel relevant.
Yes, you need to communicate with your partner if you’re feeling uncomfortable. If you don’t want to hear about people flirting with them, tell them.
Sure you can, straight men get pegged by their cis woman partners all the time.
It's only a matter of time before he decides you have to forgo any public gatherings where there's meat. Good bye any family or coworker gatherings. You are no longer compatible. Bail before you are arguing about using almond milk to feed your kid.
Some people don't like going down on people. How is that shaming her body?
He does because all roommates have to sign a form saying they’re okay with a female moving in
Kids is not something you can comprise on. If one party wants them and the other doesn’t then parting ways so you can each find a respective partner (if that’s what you want) who want the same things is the best options. Also, how did you get 5 years in without this ever coming up before?!
I did miss where they're living in a very HCOL area, but also there's deeper relationship issues because OP's partner always said he had $300k and never revealed that half of it wasn't his. That is a more concerning breach of trust.
OP is right to be concerned about that, they at least need to have a deeper conversation.
Bro stop.
All of this is just continuing a toxic situation. Why can’t you let go?
If you feel like he deserves to know, that’s fair.
If you don’t have bud name by Tuesday, block her.
If you get his name Monday and message him. Don’t worry about him reading it. No more last messages or words to her. Just fucking block her.
You are in this situation because you messaged her in the first place because you couldn’t let and move on. Stop making the same mistake.
Finally someone is saying this. OP, communicate with your wife.
The honeymoon phase can last anywhere from 6 months to a year, sometimes longer. The chemicals your brain releases when in a new relationship are equivalent to being on drugs 24/7 for that length of time.
I was in your exact position, but was in a good place with a job and support. Ultimately, it was having the means that made my decision. I was NOT in a place emotionally to become a mother. My kids will be in therapy most of their lives because MY mind wasn’t right. 20 years later and I’m JUST getting there. I love my kids, my husband (baby Daddy turned husband), and my life, but knowing what I know now, and the damage that I’ve caused, I just don’t know if I would have made the same decision. This is the first time that I’ve shared that with anyone.
If you think he really feels like he doesn't see his family much then start tracking how often he sees his family on a calendar – and mark when you see your family.
Also mark when you spend quality time with him.
Hopefully a month or two in the future you both can review this and work for common ground.
You don't want to build resentment – and he needs to understand that he doesn't want you to build resentment either.
This sounds like a terrible relationship you should get out of very quickly. Breakup with her, don't talk to her after, don't answer phone calls, don't open your door and if she makes a scene at your job, call the police. You'll be much better off without her, and threats really aren't a valid reason to stay in a relationship.
Good luck.