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As everyone else is saying, she is not your friend. Keep your breakup with her short. You do not owe her a long explanation. “You crossed a boundary that cannot be undone. We cannot continue this friendship.” Then block her on everything including your husbands stuff so she doesn’t reach though him to you.
Alright, this is going to be a test of trust with your partner. I understand you may feel threatened that the friend is trying to mess with your relationship, but trust in your partner if she has never betrayed your trust or given you any signs that she would be unfaithful to you then let that careless comment by her friend be just that a careless comment, your partner wouldn't just up and leave you because of a “hot guy” in a “hot car”. Worst thing you could do now would be acting on jealousy and attempting to turn your partner against your friend or making your partner feel like you don't trust them. Be confident in yourself! You rock! And I'm sure your partner knows that too.
Partner of an alcoholic here. First of all, good for you doing the work. I see how very hot it is, but also how healthy and worth it it is. Second, you don’t have to go to the party, and any reasonable person would be content to accept your rsvp that says something like “I’m working on my sobriety and I’m not ready for an event like this yet.” If they can’t accept that then fuck them. Third, I find it concerning that your boyfriend has informed you of his plans to get drunk at the party. He’s definitely not supporting your sobriety with that attitude. It’s nude to make judgments about what his larger support of you looks like without more instances. Maybe this is a one-off situation, maybe this is representative of how he’ll “support” your sobriety. I have no way of knowing.
What about the option of changing her mind?
You have to have a difficult conversation with your boyfriend. Does he have a very, very good explanation for why you found a strange condom wrapper in the bedroom where he ostensibly didn't have sex? If he doesn't, then you have some choices to make.
Good luck.
Great advice! I completely agree and do not intend to push this any further. Was more hoping if she came to me with the idea if there were things I could say but I guess u don't think so. She has proposed the mmf idea and I didn't decline but she later on rejected her own offer cause she didn't want to.
One of my first jobs was at a restaurant and restaurants are known for everyone banging each other. I never did but it’s common. Maybe I would if there were more people she slept with there than people she hadn’t.