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If he’s too embarrassed to talk about the why, then he shouldn’t ask. Start the conversation with, “I’m not opposed to the role play you are proposing, but this is a 180 from our usual, why is this so important to you?”
And for goodness sakes, establish a safe word.
And that's ok! I have more male friends than female friends but I'm not about to go force myself to make more female friends just because someone told me I should. Friendships aren't gonna work if they're forced anyways, so just keep doing you!
First of all, “stage 5 clinger” isn’t an actual thing. It’s an ambiguous, subjective and hurtful generalization to dismiss people. There is no statistic or scientific theory to support the existence of varying “levels” of clinginess.
meltdowns can also stem from emotional sensory overload. It’s not a random panic attack. It happened very specifically due to a variety of specific reasons. The projection of my meltdown was “oh shit my life is a lie.”
If he decided that it was too much to handle, then why lie to my face and tell me that it’s not?
I didn’t say “oh he has time to workout why doesn’t he have time to talk to me.” I never said those words.
I thought, not said to him, but thought and FELT uncomfortable because “oh, you have plenty of time to workout, meet your other friends, AND talk to me EVERY MORNING for over an hour over text – yet your reasoning for breaking up was because you didn’t have enough time?” This is confusing. Would you not also be confused if a persons actions did not match their words?
Yes that’s true. When I wrote that comment she hadn’t written that edit/comment yet, so in the beginning it was not clear what she was crying over.
Whoever told you that sounds like they're repeating the plot from My Sister's Keeper. Savior siblings are a thing but they're only done through invitro, to be sure the embryo is genetically “compatible” and only for very specific diseases. It's not something commonly done, especially with how outlandishly expensive invitro is to start with.
I’m heavily contemplating that.
Fear of commitment is common , especially when a man doesn't feel like it's the right person. He's wasting your nerves and energy . Someone out there would be ready to marry you in a heartbeat . My husband was untrusting and didn't believe in marriages before he met me , according to his mum it was night and day difference . So do yourself a favour and check your priorities in life as it is short and you should make it how you want it .
I'm all for dumb humor so if I were her, I'd be cool with it. And I'd constantly be making “raise your hand if you've seen OP hard jokes.” But that's just me.
You have to tell her. It's unfair to keep it to yourself.
Does she know the address of your future apartment? If no, don't give it to her. If yes, don't open the door/pretend you aren't home if she's actually desperate enough to drive to your place. And she's already shown you that breaking up face to face is a bad idea, so definitely don't do that. Unfortunately it seems like there won't be an easy way to break the news to her.
In the meantime, if you feel like you can't break up with her before the move, stop having sex with her or at the very least make sure you use untampered condoms and dispose of them properly.
“How do I save this?”
You don't!
Your gf is entitled, manipulative, immature and far too demanding. If she wants to go and sleep with her ex she can go and fucking online with him too and then you're free to find a girl who respects you and doesn't treat you like an ATM and sperm doner.
RUN, dont walk away!
If he wanted to separate the friendship from his religious beliefs, he would have congratulated you and attended your wedding
Thank you very much
How does that make sense, he's not trashy since be rejected her ?
I'd like to know if OP is taking reasonable
It’s just itching ??? sorry but that is kinda hilarious
There's no guys in this story
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he told me he is too busy to have a stable relationship now, and he wants to focus on his career
He's not interested in a relationship, I dont think he has enough feelings for you to brush you off like that. When people are interested the put in the effort, they make the time. sorry but I dont think it's gonna work out.
Since you have feelings though, it also does not make sense to remain FWB, i mean how will feel when he meets someone else he is interested in.
I think you might as well make your move. It either ends or gets interesting. don't stay as is though.
he told me he is too busy to have a stable relationship now, and he wants to focus on his career
He's not interested in a relationship, I dont think he has enough feelings for you to brush you off like that. When people are interested the put in the effort, they make the time. sorry but I dont think it's gonna work out.
Since you have feelings though, it also does not make sense to remain FWB, i mean how will feel when he meets someone else he is interested in.
I think you might as well make your move. It either ends or gets interesting. don't stay as is though.
You fell victim to one of the classic blunders.
Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line?
yes I’m starting to realize that, gonna have to talk about this soon
I mean, DID he groom you? When did you meet?
As for advice, you asked why he is dating you then said you basically do all of those housekeeping and lots of sex stuff. That's why he is dating you. He has a free housekeeper he gets sex from.
You asked how to make him like you. You can't make people do things. They have to want to do them.
tell his wife . not for revenge but respect . wow that’s terrible for you and her .
Agreed! Just gotta make sure both parties are on the same page and communicate honestly and openly if anything changes for either of you
OP as a pregnant woman that's married. Even if i wasn't just my input as a woman. I would never fucking feek comfortable having my partner take full responsibility for my child. I'd be thanful if i met someone if they wanted to help but to worry about someone taking care of us is insane. I'm already stressed out as is because my husband is doing the most for us and I'll be going on maternity leave. No one… and i mean no one that cares about you. Would have you put so much financial responsibility on yourself so they don't have to work. It feels like you are being used here my guy. I wouldn't feel comfortable having my partner who isn't even my husband be taking care of all my needs. Idk what this bullshit is with woman my age these days. Financial security worries should be about how she can better herself for her child and make sure they are more secure because she is bettering herself (studying or working towards something) not having you pay for shit so she can leave and have some sucker to take over her responsibilities. Don't mind yourself to this shit.
Agreed but he’s digging his hole even deeper by doing that
How did you handle this? If my dad would do this I'd be broken. He's my best friend and I can talk to him about anything and he cares.
Do not do that. Tell him you will put money away in saving account only you can access. Your financials are separate and you aren’t getting married, if you give him that money it’s good as gone.
Age has nothing to do with it, it's about the person. Don't make blanket statements. It's great that your proposal was right for you and your wife, it doesn't make someone wrong for wanting something different.
It seems like you guys have different priorities right now, and are at different levels of maturity and success.
I do hope you realise your privilege, though, as most 24 year olds don’t have a mortgage, a great job and lots of ‘toys’. You’re an overachiever for your age, which I imagine comes from your own hard work or your parents giving you a step up – either way that’s great, and I’m not bashing you for it, but most people in their early/mid 20s are still figuring themselves out and what they want to do with their lives. Your girlfriend seems to fall into that category.
Sometimes love isn’t all you need to make a relationship work, and to be honest neither of you sound happy in this situation. It seems like more effort than it should be. It’s up to you whether you want to wait it out and see if she ‘makes something’ of herself, or plateaus. You should want to be with her for her, at the end of the day.
Anything you wouldn’t do/let happen in front of your partner- you shouldn’t be doing.
If you don't want people to call out your uninformed messages and engage in a response why bother saying anything at all? If you have the urge to type something out type it out and don't hit send…..it allows you to get it out without people calling you out on your opinions
This is high school behavior. You're too immature to be in an adult relationship. Pls consider therapy and working on yourself.
Only if they've been housetrained. I don't believe in rabid toddlers.
This happened to me and I vowed never again. Anyone who makes me their second choice does not have a space in my life. Ever. Anyone who treats people like it's ranked choice voting also does not have a space in my life lol.
Well, there’s your reason. Makes sense. My advice for this is, if you love him, are happy, and he treats you well try to make it work. If at any time that changes, break up. But don’t do it just because of a random work crush. If you love him, that will fade away just like it did last time.
Two of my sisters married men that they met in high school or college with very little previous experience and they are very happy. I didn’t meet my husband til I was in my 30s. It just depends on when you meet the right person.
My parents divorced when I was a baby and both remarried and I went back and forth. At my mom’s house we didn’t have much money but we were happy. My dad’s house was manipulative and toxic but they bought me lots of great stuff (that I had to keep at my dad’s house, of course). By 16 I voluntarily stopped going to my dad’s house at all. Much better to be happy than have stuff. Just my experience.
Reeeeally depends on the person. I have several Muslim friends who married outside their religion.