Thanks for your feedback! I really appreciate it. Do you think I should apologize? I can’t help but feel like this is all because of me now. He doesn’t understand my point of view. I didn’t lie when I said that I wouldn’t develop feelings. I was certain of that when we had the understanding that things would be short term. He changed the future outlook from short term to possibly long term, which led to a change in my feelings and expectations. I dont know if I’m making any sense at all LOL
Ehhhh. I nanny for an Indian family. The wife and husband have 3 kids. His parents and brother are slated to stay at their house for 6 months. They all came at the beginning of August.
You are modeling what a relationship should look like to your child. You're teaching him how he should treat women. Because if mommy accepts it, that's the way it's supposed to be.
Long distance relationships are especially nude as you have little time together. And it is time together that helps a couple grow together.
Typically when people take a “break” in their relationship, it usually ends up they are parting ways for good. Most need more communication to resolve their issues rather than moving apart.
You may need some “alone” time to think and process, but we're talking a day or two not separating or taking a “break” from the relationship.
It sounds like your girlfriend is having second thoughts. Breaking up is always very hot; but sometimes having doubts can open up communication which can lead to a better relationship or realize it needs to end.
Thank you for your perspective, I have no choice but to accept it.
I do feel there is much more depth to the situation about mental health. I didn’t assign a disorder to her when talking with her mother. I made her mother aware, that I feared for the way she was struggling and wasn’t comfortable enough to talk to anyone about her struggles.
I think your explanation of the sex life issues, does make a great deal of sense. At least it helps me empathise with her emotions and possible journey in that regard.
I also guess, her note does Allude to the “mansplaining”, although I don’t recognise this behaviour in myself currently, I’m not sure it’s through lack of trying either. I mainly try to ask for clarity and understanding. I can see what you mean.
The crying was because he felt guilty for blacking out in a rage and strangling, spitting on me and hurting me he said he felt bad he should considering I'm carrying twins pregnant right now.
How is this not in your original post???
This is Domestic Violence of the worst kind! Do you have somewhere you can go when he leaves for work? Stop worrying about whether or not he's cheating on you and start worrying about whether or you will live to give birth to those twins! You need to get out of there. Like TODAY.
Don’t feel to bad about that. We all have to work on ourselves. It’s a lot easier when we can focus on our issues and not those of who we are in conflict with. It’s been said many times in different forms but the saying “we can’t control what others do but we can control how we react to it.”
Write the guy off as a loser, figure out what you could have done better and bring that into the next relationship. It’ll be a lot more satisfying than trying to figure out if he was trying to hurt you or was just a coward?
Because it's gross, there's a large difference in the power dynamics and yes (to answer your question) I don't think people decades apart have a lot in common. If the younger one is very young, it looks a lot like grooming too.
You do not appear to be compatible. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? I recommend ending the relationship. There are female gamers out there who don’t come with the “social anxiety” and “you need to stop your lifelong hobby for me to be comfortable” issue. DTMFA.
It usually sticks around for awhile. It’s really bitter tasting and if you were to make out with him, your lips would probably feel tingly/numb. Also, it can stick in your nose so you’d notice extra white boogers.
Well unless she is also a supermodel and has the body that men weep over, does that then mean that you are settling for her when you know that there could be better looking women out there?
This whole “settling” thing goes both ways you know.
It sounds like he needs you to explicitly tell him that you don’t need him to come to your races. It’s not like he can watch you for most of it without doing the run himself anyway. You could suggest he turns up around the time you expect to finish with some snacks and maybe a jacket.
I hope you’re in a better place now. I’ve never gone through anything as humiliating and dehumanizing as the justice system was, and I’m absolutely including my rape. I mean…it cost me my job, my privacy, my sanity and four years of my life, and the guy who hurt me got six months of house arrest. That’s a pretty good deal as these things go, but in no way was it worth it.
Reminds me of fifth grade. There was a girl who had the same name as me. When my teacher would call (my name), we would be wondering which one. So, she started saying the first letter of our last names with our name to clarify who she was talking to
She’s gotten real comfortable with the way things are. Why should she change when she’s getting all her needs met without doing anything. You need to be direct. Stop dropping hints. Tell her you’re unhappy with the way things are going. Tell her this is what you need from her. If not then you two need to part ways.
This is a completely insincere “man”, more like a boy. Don't invest in listening or responding to him, block and move ahead. Don't go look at social media, don't text, don't read texts or listen to voice mails. He's a liar hon, and he's playing you. xo from a granny
I feel like that’s absolutely something I’d have done at 24 heck I’m in my 30s and I still don’t get it right all the time. If he is trying and getting better at it, maybe find a way you can both agree on to que him into what kinda situation it is.
You are young enough that you are still naturally being pushed around by your parental units. She finds that unmanly, and she is right.
But moreover, you shouldn't go to her mother to talk about the relationship. Was that ever a dumb idea.
Online at either your mother's or your other parents' house and grow up a couple years. You are not a man, you are still a boy, and not ready for an adult relationship. Even if she is autistic, your GF sees this about you and finds it unattractive.
To be honest, you have never been clear on the specific issue.
Thanks for your feedback! I really appreciate it. Do you think I should apologize? I can’t help but feel like this is all because of me now. He doesn’t understand my point of view. I didn’t lie when I said that I wouldn’t develop feelings. I was certain of that when we had the understanding that things would be short term. He changed the future outlook from short term to possibly long term, which led to a change in my feelings and expectations. I dont know if I’m making any sense at all LOL
Ehhhh. I nanny for an Indian family. The wife and husband have 3 kids. His parents and brother are slated to stay at their house for 6 months. They all came at the beginning of August.
We do everything but penetrative sex
You are modeling what a relationship should look like to your child. You're teaching him how he should treat women. Because if mommy accepts it, that's the way it's supposed to be.
Depends if your bro sees her nothing less than someone he has sex with.
Weird.
Thank you for your comment. I think you’re right. It is time to have the conversation to tie up the loose ends and start moving forward.
UpdateMe!
Long distance relationships are especially nude as you have little time together. And it is time together that helps a couple grow together.
Typically when people take a “break” in their relationship, it usually ends up they are parting ways for good. Most need more communication to resolve their issues rather than moving apart.
You may need some “alone” time to think and process, but we're talking a day or two not separating or taking a “break” from the relationship.
It sounds like your girlfriend is having second thoughts. Breaking up is always very hot; but sometimes having doubts can open up communication which can lead to a better relationship or realize it needs to end.
Did she say the last part, or are we assuming it?
People have different opinions and needs, I’m not sure what else to say
It's a good thing you're breaking up so your boyfriend can find someone who isn't racist.
Thank you for your perspective, I have no choice but to accept it.
I do feel there is much more depth to the situation about mental health. I didn’t assign a disorder to her when talking with her mother. I made her mother aware, that I feared for the way she was struggling and wasn’t comfortable enough to talk to anyone about her struggles.
I think your explanation of the sex life issues, does make a great deal of sense. At least it helps me empathise with her emotions and possible journey in that regard.
I also guess, her note does Allude to the “mansplaining”, although I don’t recognise this behaviour in myself currently, I’m not sure it’s through lack of trying either. I mainly try to ask for clarity and understanding. I can see what you mean.
Leave her alone. She's already told you she never wants to talk to you again so respect that and move on.
he’s not dating u when he pulls out the photo of his ex during sex bro. It’s doomed gtfo
Yes. Crack should end your relationship.
P.S. You don't need a reason or permission to break up with someone. But in this case, crack addition is a good reason.
She's dealing with what's probably childhood abuse. I think that's a good reason to want to be celibate for a while.
The crying was because he felt guilty for blacking out in a rage and strangling, spitting on me and hurting me he said he felt bad he should considering I'm carrying twins pregnant right now.
How is this not in your original post???
This is Domestic Violence of the worst kind! Do you have somewhere you can go when he leaves for work? Stop worrying about whether or not he's cheating on you and start worrying about whether or you will live to give birth to those twins! You need to get out of there. Like TODAY.
Don’t feel to bad about that. We all have to work on ourselves. It’s a lot easier when we can focus on our issues and not those of who we are in conflict with. It’s been said many times in different forms but the saying “we can’t control what others do but we can control how we react to it.”
Write the guy off as a loser, figure out what you could have done better and bring that into the next relationship. It’ll be a lot more satisfying than trying to figure out if he was trying to hurt you or was just a coward?
By showing up at the club and being conspicuous.
Because it's gross, there's a large difference in the power dynamics and yes (to answer your question) I don't think people decades apart have a lot in common. If the younger one is very young, it looks a lot like grooming too.
What became of your brothers – did they ever grow out of it?
Cut him of so fast his head will spin.
Life is too short to put up with what 99% of the posts on this sub describe.
He's 28, not a “kid” anymore
You do not appear to be compatible. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? I recommend ending the relationship. There are female gamers out there who don’t come with the “social anxiety” and “you need to stop your lifelong hobby for me to be comfortable” issue. DTMFA.
It usually sticks around for awhile. It’s really bitter tasting and if you were to make out with him, your lips would probably feel tingly/numb. Also, it can stick in your nose so you’d notice extra white boogers.
I agree, I'm 41 and have never cared if my dude watches it . I watch too sometimes
I agree with you, but he doesn’t get to unilaterally decide either.
Well unless she is also a supermodel and has the body that men weep over, does that then mean that you are settling for her when you know that there could be better looking women out there?
This whole “settling” thing goes both ways you know.
It sounds like he needs you to explicitly tell him that you don’t need him to come to your races. It’s not like he can watch you for most of it without doing the run himself anyway. You could suggest he turns up around the time you expect to finish with some snacks and maybe a jacket.
I hope you’re in a better place now. I’ve never gone through anything as humiliating and dehumanizing as the justice system was, and I’m absolutely including my rape. I mean…it cost me my job, my privacy, my sanity and four years of my life, and the guy who hurt me got six months of house arrest. That’s a pretty good deal as these things go, but in no way was it worth it.
Reminds me of fifth grade. There was a girl who had the same name as me. When my teacher would call (my name), we would be wondering which one. So, she started saying the first letter of our last names with our name to clarify who she was talking to
She’s gotten real comfortable with the way things are. Why should she change when she’s getting all her needs met without doing anything. You need to be direct. Stop dropping hints. Tell her you’re unhappy with the way things are going. Tell her this is what you need from her. If not then you two need to part ways.
Can communicate that she is ok with cheating on you with other women but can’t communicate how she wants to be pleasured. Haha I’d say bye to that.
This is a completely insincere “man”, more like a boy. Don't invest in listening or responding to him, block and move ahead. Don't go look at social media, don't text, don't read texts or listen to voice mails. He's a liar hon, and he's playing you. xo from a granny
Largely a western concept.
“I’m your wife and I just had a miscarriage with your baby and I’m in pain. I need your help. Set your ego aside and help me.” If he can’t, big yikes.
I feel like that’s absolutely something I’d have done at 24 heck I’m in my 30s and I still don’t get it right all the time. If he is trying and getting better at it, maybe find a way you can both agree on to que him into what kinda situation it is.
It's always the fun part.
Disagree. Fantasizing about any random woman that gives you attention is not normal.
You are young enough that you are still naturally being pushed around by your parental units. She finds that unmanly, and she is right.
But moreover, you shouldn't go to her mother to talk about the relationship. Was that ever a dumb idea.
Online at either your mother's or your other parents' house and grow up a couple years. You are not a man, you are still a boy, and not ready for an adult relationship. Even if she is autistic, your GF sees this about you and finds it unattractive.
Don't tell them any reason.
A “No, thank you.” requires no reason at all. His age and professional station are reason enough and he well knows.
And if he doesn't know, HR can help him figure this out.