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. ( fast, I know. But we really did fall head over heels in love with each other.) Everything has been super peachy so far and we are mostly really good about communicating any issues, should any arise.
You were in the earliest stages of the early honeymoon period, you were basically still strangers….of course things were okay.
We are both on government funded income-based health insurance. He makes decent money working full time and I currently stay at home.
If you weren't with your bf….would you also be unemployed?
It bothers me that he still has his ex wife’s last name (he took her name). I also want to clarify our relationship to our children as it progresses. I don’t want to be “dad’s girlfriend” to his daughter forever, and the same goes for him and my son.
Lots of people keep their ex-name even after a divorce, it's a huge hassle to change it again, and if there are kids involved, it can keeps things easier too.
I don’t want to be “dad’s girlfriend” to his daughter forever, and the same goes for him and my son.
Then you and him are most likely not a good match.
Also…he has a kid and rushed things with you? Huge red flag. Lots of people only introduce their new partner after 8-12 months. This man moved you in after a few weeks….c'mon.
Are his reasons valid? Could there have been a shift in how he feels towards me? Am I just romanticizing the idea of being married?
Yes, his reasons are as valid as yours. You and him simply aren't a good match.
His only red flag is that he wanted to rape you but didn't get the chance? THATS THE ONLY RED FLAG YOU NEED. Do you hear yourself? Good god
Yea it’s hard when you want something more and somebody else doesn’t. It’s very hot to resist them leading you on. But you gotta be strong for your own sake. But definitely have another convo with him to confirm; maybe he’s changed his mind
Me and my wife are both rather money-saving people, but at the same time I also don't save on the kids and don't believe that's the right thing to do.
A child doesn't really understand and doesn't appreciate that if they don't eat a chocolate bar for 30 days they can get “something big” later. It just makes their life miserable imo. My advise would be to save on yourself and splurge on the kids. Saving and buying expensive things is great and all, but you're only a kid once, and if you can't have a nice snack here and there it's just a shit time. Maybe discuss this with the wife and have her agree on that too, if possible.
As for the savings part – it's great to have them for sure, but times are nude and I'd honestly prioritize keeping your life on the same level as it used to be versus increasing your savings by a lot. Again, it's great to have savings but a drastic decrease in the quality of your life will have a toll on your mental health. You didn't provide any numbers obviously, but I assume you already have a significant amount amassed for the rainy day. If that's the case, then it's fine if you can't save much more for a while. As long as you aren't eating into these savings on daily basis you're much better off than the vast majority of people who don't have significant savings of any kind at all.
Also, the funny thing is that the rampant inflation devalues your savings, so to an extent it's kind of better to spend today, because tomorrow it's all worth less.