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I’m confused, the ‘bit’ account notified your girlfriend about it? so she set you up? if she did that’s really immature of her and I wouldn’t be happy about that at all. Especially because you didn’t take the bait and weren’t being flirty or anything
Well personally i like when the guy pays, that doesn't make me a bad person. She was straightforward with what she wants
Recommenting here just in case you didn’t see the other one:
Hey OP. I get your point of view. But I think you assumed your bf had a hell of a lot more familiarity with your ENM world than he did.
It’s not his world. He likely needed you to say “being my boyfriend means x: do you agree to this?” Where things went wrong is that you explained a whole lot. You tried to educate him. But at no point did you get his affirmative consent for romantic exclusivity and sexual ENM. So what actually happened here is that you messed up the ethical part – explicit consent. You know what you meant. But you didn’t check to see if he understood what you meant. Sorry to be crude, but you needed to tell him “this means I will fuck other people but only have a romantic connection to you. Are you ok with this?” Yes. That explicit.
This was your second attempt at an enm relationship. Your first one was with someone clearly already interested in that. So I think you assumed more people are open to this than there are, and didn’t adjust your communication to reflect that reality.
Your bf was probably trying to sound “worldly” when the two of you were dating. And you did a good job introducing the topic. But you never closed the circle by getting explicit consent.
If he talks with you again make it clear to him that this is the kind of relationship you require. And that while you hope he would like to still be with you, you don’t want him doing anything he is uncomfortable with. (Another discussion you didn’t have). Yes, YOU need to make sure your partners are emotionally ready to handle ENM.
If I were you I’d post in r/ENM for advice on how to avoid this in the future. You have a good understanding of how you want an open relationship to work. But you need a better understanding of how to communicate with non-ENM potential partners.
Let me at him…let me at him! Asshole throw the whole man child a way what wacky shit has he been reading on the Internet? Tell doucheface to drop his holier-than-thou attitude, if he thinks any woman will put up that shit he is highly mistaken.