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1. I know this probably won’t be a popular opinion, but I think this is one mistake he needs to figure out on his own. He’s very young so I doubt he’s thinking about marriage…I’d hope not at least as his gf sounds like a nightmare! I just worry that if you make comments or try to get him to leave her it will cause bad energy between you two. Or even worse, sometimes that will bring toxic couples even closer. I hope everything works out for you and your brother:) I’m sure it will!

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2. I had cousins who had a brief wedding at a remote cabin on vacation. They had a fancier one later, back home, with all the family around.

   The fact that their first child was born seven months after the fancier wedding I'm sure had nothing to do with it. 😉

   But the idea is sound: You can have a vow renewal ceremony, or an anniversary do-over, when you have the resources to get the wedding you want. Circumstances are against you now.

   In some ways, it is a bit like having a kitchen: If you enjoy cooking, you can make it work in a small, cramped kitchen. If you don't enjoy cooking, getting a big, fancy kitchen won't change your mind.

   In other words, focus on the marriage more than the ceremony.

   I recommend you both read The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman and Nan Silver.

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