I (30M) found out my (30F) wife has been having an affair


Last night my kid was using her phone. I went to turn on a show from her phone to the TV and saw he was typing on a new message. When I closed it I saw a weird text from an older, married coworker. They’ve been sexting with nudes and FaceTime for about 10 months. Around that time we had an agreement that if she wanted to flirt with someone to make her self esteem rise, she could. I think this was his idea. They’ve taken it to the physical about 2 months in, with groping and touching under clothes, and kissing.

The agreement was no touching, no sexting, no nudes. Just talking and okay with some mildly flirty messages. She told me explicit sexts, nudes, everything she did was within the agreement. She would text that she’s “single” when I was away at work and that’s when they would sext with more pictures.

I’m destroyed. We’ve been together for 10 years and have a kid together. How can I possibly save my marriage? I’m insecure, prior to this event, and I’m repulsed. A work superior, about the same level as a law firm partner, had kissed her before she came home to kiss me. He had his hands down her pants just before she came home. This is even as recent as Friday.

TLDR; found out about wife’s 10 month affair. She said it wasn’t cheating. I’m beyond destroyed and want to save my marriage.

Date: May 22, 2023

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