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So he started following you on social media and stalking you when you were about 18/19.. and would have raped you, given the opportunity.
My child, that is as big a red flag as anyone could openly tell you, give you, show you, idc! I am WORRIED for your safety and you’re debating leaving him?! Create an exit plan with a trusted friend/family, change your number, change jobs, delete all social media. This is like an antelope staring down a lion, debating whether to run while it can still save its life. Please take this chance and run
When people don't know what taking care of your mental health can look like, they'll be quick to call it unnecessary relationship drama. Stirring the pot, I guess…
This sounds like such a mess and quite a lot of instability. Your ex is likely right – you two don’t belong together.
Fight becoming physical isn’t just “that big fight”, it’s something you cannot come back from and requires two individuals with anger issues and inability to control their emotions (that alone is more red flags than a communist party).
Secondly; you became so depressed you had to quit your job (all within a very short period of time)? This doesn’t sound like something a responsible adult would do – you’re too old for this shit.
Pull yourself together, get the help you need, and move on (file for that divorce).
You need some serious help.
So you cheated on your wife years ago and just found out it resulted in a kid?
Stop hanging out with her all the time. Let her do her own thing, you do yours
Next time 3 day, not 3 week visits
She wants to fuck HIM. You don't have a threesome problem, you have a gf problem right now bud. If she doesn't stop or block him (if she hasnt already) after setting this boundary. Leave.
Why are you still with this man? You shouldn’t be worrying about another woman, you should be worrying about yourself and your own well-being. This man has abused and raped you. And is now probably emotionally cheating on you. This is just going to get worse. Leave this relationship and make yourself safe. This other woman should be the least of your problems, leave her be.
Except according to OP, he said that this is something that has affected him his whole life. So, not just when it affects her.
I fucked this guy too.
What a giant learning lesson he turned out to be.