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OP, this was not cheating in any way and I hope you know that now. All the comments saying you were sexual assaulted are 100% accurate. Please tell your gf and get her “friend” out of that place ASAP.
I’m the same way as you described & also possibly/probably autistic (and adhd and other mental health issues). I too just want friends
No.
For your question: It doesn't necessarily mean anything beyond not wanting a long distance relationship. I know if it was me, I don't think I could justify moving across the entire continent for a lady I've only dated for a month.
Generally speaking, I'd suggest taking the job. You are young and there are more fish in the sea, so you probably aren't in a huge rush to get married or anything like that. Add in that you've only been together for a month and I see this as an easy call here. Part ways on good terms, take the job and find someone else in New Jersey.