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1. If I were in your place, and instead of my GF, this was just a good friend, I would still be wary about the situation, just because of how weird it’s all unfolding. She drank some alcohol from this strange guy and is now planning to meet him alone? Does she need help? Would she like a friend to come along to make sure everything is cool with this guy? What are his social medias accounts? etc

   The point that I’m trying to make is that even without the dynamic of her already being in a relationship with you, the red flags are there. I think you’re justified in your concerns, and that she’s using silence and argumentation as tools of manipulation in order to wear down your resolve.

   I’m not saying that you should have expected this exact situation, but people are naturally self-interested. Outside of the bubble of your relationship exists a literal world of temptations. Whenever I enter a new relationship with someone it helps to keep this in mind, so that I’ll be mentally and emotionally prepared to respond should something like this ever arise. If she really wants to see this guy even after knowing how you feel about it, she’s gonna do it, even if she has no current intention to have sex with him. If this creates an insecurity for you then so be it, and good on you for letting her know immediately. Being in a relationship means sacrificing a measure of that self interest in order to work together with your partner towards a goal of mutual happiness. It definitely requires a good deal of maturity from both parties, and some people never achieve the self-fulfillment required to reach that place. It sounds like she’s interested in the security of being in a relationship but with none of the sacrifice.

   I think the fact that you’re concerned about the situation shows that you have what we call standards. And honestly? Looking at it objectively, this is not an unreasonable ask of your partner. She’s shown you what she’s gonna do, she gonna argue and pout and and sulk and manipulate you into being okay with letting her see his stranger. During times like these, you have to be prepared to decide if you want to be with someone who falls short of your standards. Not suggesting breaking up with her immediately but I do recommend putting your foot down, telling her what you want out of a partner, and giving her the option to hit the road now so that you can find someone to love who is more aligned with the path in life that you walk. Good luck!

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