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It is definitely unhealthy, but when I’m away from it I reminisce about the positives and how it’s better than it seemed – how do I prevent myself from going back?
I think you know exactly what you need to do. You're looking for some sort of root cause here, so because you don't know why this is shitty, you're almost ignoring the simple fact that it's shitty.
It's time to let go. There's no future here. The longer you stay, the more hurt you get. Good luck.
Super shitty situation, but you can't know for certain until it happens.. which it probably will, judging by your post.
I don't know how your relationship with your GF is, but if I voiced my opinion this early (about your finances mind you) and my partner still did exactly what I said would happen, after claiming she wouldn't, I would've moved on to greener pastures. You have your own life to worry about; you're in your early twenties. You might want kids of your own, and you, unlike some, seem to understand that entails planned finances.
Oh yeah that’s fair like intrusive thoughts are a thing but there is a different between like RUMINATING on it and having a fleeting “hm what would life be life if I divorced and ran off to x, y or z” it’s a brief excercise for our brain to walk through the scenario and dismiss it